I'm looking Through You: Growing up Haunted

Jennifer Finney Boylan's memoir of childhood, adolescence, and some bits beyond centers around the Coffin House (named after people who once lived there, of course), the house where she grew up and which she always felt was haunted. This is a memoir of family and of self (whether there were or were not any actual ghosts in the house is left an open question; the real haunting here was of Jenny haunting herself), and Jenny's hopes and confusions around gender and love as a trans person trying to figure out life and friends and partners and herself are a strong thread throughout. The memoir is masterfully done, with early reflections echoing down the pages to come back stronger, more revealing, chapters later. The sentence-level writing show more is often a wonder, and Boylan is *funny*, in that slightly off-center way that should be familiar to members of the sorts of families that are proud of their shared, idiosyncratic inside jokes. I felt like I was in the hands of a fair and assured storyteller from page one. Recommended. show less

A fascinating story woven with the backdrop of a transgender young man haunted both by his phsyical identity and the physical haunting of a house in main line Philadelphia. It is a very poignant, at times sad and then humorous book. I deeply admire the struggle of the author and the way in which she wrote this moving story. The call to be real and to "find ourselves" is one in which we all struggle to achieve on varying levels.

My mother-in-law turned me on to Jennifer Finney Boylan. She read "I'm Looking Through You" first, while I started with "She's Not There". I don't know what my impression would have been had I read the books in chronological order, but in light of what I already knew about the writer's life, I could not help but see this book, in part, as a love letter to her sister. Again, that may well be my own perspective, but it is one of the beautiful and bittersweet threads that weaves throughout this memoir.

Throughout both books, Boylan's unexpected and agile twists of humor elevate stories that might otherwise feel overly dark and serious. Some books leave you with a great respect for the writer. Others, make you wish you could chat with them show more casually over coffee and a bagel. Boylan manages to do both as she weaves stories that make her endearingly familiar and extraordinary at the same time. show less

This was a book that I couldn't put down, and I found it a quick, fascinating read. The entire memoir is centered around the metaphor of a haunting: There's the physical haunting that the author felt in her old house when she grew up, and the idea that the author felt haunted in her own body while growing up the wrong gender.

The author's humor is present throughout the book, but it is bittersweet, cultivated through years of feeling odd and unaccepted, by others and herself. She has a great eye for detail, perhaps stemmed from her musical talent that was drilled into her by her father, (playing classical music in different rhythms as a personal challenge) and from her empathy (perhaps encouraged by her father making his children stop show more mid-argument to debate the opposite side.) The result is an engaging novel that is truly touching.

This novel also may help those wishing to understand more about the transgendered, and why they feel they must change genders at the risk of devasting their families. The author herself made her choice after being married with two children. It is difficult not to feel for the author's internal struggle with gender identity. While questions of sexuality are marginally addressed, the author makes it clear that this is not about sex, it's about gender. A line that has stuck with me after reading is "It wasn't a question of who I wanted to go to bed with, but who I wanted to go to bed as." I think that line, most of all, helped me to understand the transgendered's choice to "come out" as a different gender. I believe that this approach handled the issue with dignity.

This book had bonus points for me for being set in the Philadelphia area, which made the setting pop all the more in my head. show less

This memoir covers Boylan's childhood and youth (in a haunted house) as a conflicted boy who knew he'd rather be a girl, but had no hope of doing anything about it other than dressing in his sister's clothes behind a locked bedroom door. It was just excellent. Please read it.

Simultaneously a departure from her earlier memoir and yet also a story about a boy (and then man) who wants to be female. Jim grows up in a house with strange thumps, bumps and visions while also struggling to be at peace with himself. This narrative describes the inner and outer ghosts that trouble him until he becomes Jenny. Even then, she remains haunted by memories of her imperfect marriage of male and female. Funny, scary and touching. Highly recommended.

Excellent and clever use of memoir to tackle larger issues. Ms. Boylan is a great writer with a real talent for comedic dialogue and atmospheric, emotional description. I loved this book and highly recommend it.