Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in their Struggle for Self
by Elan Golomb
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Description
The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us. With an empathic blend of show more scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people. Trapped in the Mirror explores: The nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel Stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs Why so many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past How anger must be acknowledged to be overcome And, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed. show lessTags
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Author Information
3 Works 301 Members
Elan Golomb graduated from Bennington College and earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology and her certificate in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy from New York University. Since 1972 she has been in private practice in New York City.
Common Knowledge
- Quotations
- The negative introject always feels like a foreign, attacking entity. Its cruelty comes from the unmitigated hostility of the parent as well as the anger of the child at his frustrations.
Children of narcissists fear to know themselves, particularly when what they find within is anger. Life with vituperative parents forces them into a compliant posture. When things go wrong they retreat and do not know that ... (show all)much of what they fear from others is a projection of their inner lives. Feelings of their own that are attributed to others make the world a frightening place.
In families of narcissists where criticism is favored, there are unspoken tenets of behavior, like: "He who wields the knife is powerful. If I tell you what to do, I know more. Smarter is better" and "I raise myself by putt... (show all)ing you down." I was raised under such an onslaught and was too often hurt to shrug it off. Children of narcissists can develop emotional soft spots from parental pounding. We are like tenderized veal. Criticism keeps hitting home because we believe what is said. Children of narcissists have been pounded into belief. Our parents know our sore points because they originally created them.
Classifications
- Genres
- Nonfiction, General Nonfiction
- DDC/MDS
- 616.8585 — Applied science & technology Medicine & health Diseases, Allergies, Skin Conditions Nervous Disorders: Autism, Anorexia, OCD Miscellaneous Personality, sexual, gender-identity, impulse-control, factitious, developmental, learning disorders; violent behavior; mental retardation
- LCC
- BF575 .N35 .G66 — Philosophy, Psychology and Religion Psychology Psychology Affection. Feeling. Emotion
- BISAC
Statistics
- Members
- 295
- Popularity
- 108,569
- Rating
- (3.81)
- Languages
- English
- Media
- Paper, Audiobook, Ebook
- ISBNs
- 5
- ASINs
- 2
