Sex with Kings: 500 Years of Adultery, Power, Rivalry, and Revenge

OK, I just finished a book on evolutionary biology and a heavy biography of Christopher Wren. I get to have a little fun, alright? And this one is a little fun. It was good to be the King. It was sometimes good to be the King’s mistress. (We are talking exclusively about the female companions of male European royalty here; Catherine the Great and Edward II don’t come up). Each chapter discusses a different aspect of being a royal mistress; qualifications for the job, how you presented your resume, benefits and perks, public relations, and the retirement program. It’s all presented in PG fashion; enough detail to induce a smile but not enough for a leer.

On the light side, we have Agnes Sorel turning up in the earliest (1449) show more surviving painting of a royal mistress. She’s incongruously depicted as the Madonna, in a pose that might induce alien contact believers into thinking that the Zeta Reticulans handed out silicone in the later Middle Ages. Nell Gwynn sounds like somebody it would be fun to hang out with; when here coach was stopped in the street by an angry mob who thought she was Louise de Kéroualle, one of Charles II other ladies who happened to have the unpopular distinction of being both French and Catholic, Nell stuck her head out the carriage window and shouted “Please, good people! I’m the Protestant whore!. The mob burst into laughter and let her go.

It's abundantly clear that the mistresses were almost always smarter than their royal companions. They had to be, it was clearly not all fun and games. Being the royal mistress was an official position in the prerevolutionary French court (you got to attend cabinet meetings, which must have been a mixed blessing) and because it was potentially extremely lucrative families competed to have their daughters selected for the job. Some of the daughters were clearly not enthused about the idea. Louise de La Valière was almost literally shoved into Louis XIV’s bed by her venal relatives at the age of seventeen. She had four illegitimate children by him, dutifully supported her family with the proceeds, then suffered the humiliation of being forced to be her successor’s (Athénaïs de Montespan) maid. She performed her new duties faithfully but retired to a Carmelite convent as soon as she could, after first throwing herself prone at the Queen’s feet and begging forgiveness. Queen Marie-Thérèse latter found herself taking a rest in the same convent and burst into tears when she saw the former Countess da La Valière in a coarse brown habit limping across the courtyard with a bundle of laundry.

The last official French royal mistress, Marie Jeanne du Barry, was dragged out of retirement and forced to “look through the Republican window” after pleading for her life in exchange for her remaining jewelry (they took the jewels anyway). Dorothy Jordan, the actress-mistress of William IV, bore him ten children. All ten were ennobled by the King, but they and their father allowed their mother to die alone in poverty because she was now an embarrassment.

After light and heavy we get just plain strange; King Pedro of Portugal wanted to legitimize his children by long-time mistress Inez de Castro and petitioned the Pope accordingly. The Pope demurred, stating that the only way this would be acceptable would be if Inez had been formally crowned Queen of Portugal and this was now impossible since she’d been dead for four years. It’s not good to call the King’s bluff; Pedro had Inez disinterred, formally robed and crowned as Queen, and spent a day with her enthroned next to him. It must have been disconcerting for the nobility who were forced to kiss her hand.

On a final note, the author really got into her research; she dressed in Baroque style for awhile just to see what it felt like (she liked the jewelry and brocade gown but was less than enthused about the corset). A picture of her so garbed in the endpapers is quite appealing. show less

Great romp through the many royal mistresses of Europe. The prose is easy to read, descriptive, and engaging. The author did a lot of research on her subject and it shows. The secton on Madame du Pompadour was especially well done, as she "reigned" as a royal mistress until she was quite old, comparatively. My only gripe with this book (and the reason for 4.5 stars instead of 5) is that the author jumps around in the timeline, and through countries. A more chronological approach would've been smoother. I look forward to reading the sequel, "Sex with the Queen."

Sex with Kings is an extremely enjoyable book. It's chock full of juicy, gossipy tales of royalty behaving badly, making history a bit more interesting (why don't we ever read these kinds of books in school?) The writing is clear and engaging, the only flaw being the organization in the book. Instead of going chronologically, the book is written in sections which relate some aspect of a royal mistress' life (her finances, her relationship with the queen, etc) which makes the book a little choppy and difficult to follow. With so many titles and French names it can be a little hard to tell who is who and who is sleeping with who, thus, this probably wouldn't make a very good reference book. But, for pure entertainment purposes it works show more like a dream. show less

Oooooo....now this was fun! I like my history a little bit bawdy and this book fits the bill. Foot fetishes, gay kings, lesbian mistresses, the viciousness of Versailles.... This book has it all.

I can really only find one major flaw with it. The extraordinary amount of information contained is almost overwhelming. I read this book to help me get through a more emotionally challenging book. This book created a diversion of sorts. I think this book needs to be just that - I diversion. Take it in small doses. It can still keep you busy for quite awhile. For example, the book only has a few images of the mistresses, queens, and kings mentioned. I spent a considerable time on Google simply trying to find what what the ravishing beauty or show more complete frump (not my descriptions, but the descriptions from those at court) looked like. And even then, those images needed to be taken with a grain of salt as a mistress would not be caught dead looking less than absolutely picturesque.

I say read this, savor it, quote things to friends, post titillating tidbits on Facebook, because if nothing else you just might win that game of Trivial Pursuit. show less

I really enjoyed this book, I thought it would be hard to get into but as soon as I picked it up I couldn't put it down. What made the book a little easier to read was that the author kept referring to more or less the same people so it was easy to follow and I didn't feel like I was just reading a list of names over and over. The author added into the stories her own wit and personality that made for a really funny and interesting read.

Oh, decadent history! I love to eat you up with a spoon.

Sex with Kings is a fast-paced tour through the various mistresses of kings throughout history. Some were well known to me, like Barbara Palmer and Diane de Poitiers, and others were new to me. The life of a mistress was a terrible career choice. I can't pretend to understand why women in those days would make this decision (or oftentimes, their family would make the decision for them). However, it was a fascinating introduction to different women throughout history.

Consider it a primer on women who you might want to read about further in other books, as there isn't a lot about each one. The perspective I want to know more about is from the one of the queen herself. I guess show more tolerating it was part of the job, which is why I am glad to be a mere peasant with a happy, normal marriage.

Full of intrigue, bad decisions, revenge and death, it is an interesting look back at the mistresses of the royal courts. History lovers will enjoy. A solid three stars. show less

I enjoyed reading this book on a subject not often discussed. It is interesting to read it from the modern viewpoint and look back on a time with an entirely different set of expectations for leaders of nations.

A monarch's queen was nothing more than a royal broodmare; her only purpose in the King's court was to produce royal heirs. His mistress fulfilled all other roles in their relationship, and it is a much harder job to keep a man entertained, sexually fulfilled and emotionally secure than to be a procreational device. You just have to give those mistresses a lot of credit for doing what they did.

The style of the book was just fine for me.....if I had wanted to read in-depth biographies of all these women, I certainly could have, show more but this book was more for comparison and analysis of royal mistresses throughout history, and succeeds as such.

It also says a lot about women who were ambitious enough to seize power through the limited means available to them throughout much of history, especially in places like France where Salic Law prevented any female descendant of a monarch from ruling in her own right. Not saying that these women were wise or benevolent (Madame de Maintenon influencing Louis XIV to revoke the Edict of Nantes is a sad and bloody example of religious intolerance), but it is illuminating in historical circumstances.

I must admit I did have my favorites.....Nell Gwynn was a trip! I adored Madame de Pompadour for her overwhelming interests in architecture and the applied arts. I like Camilla Parker-Bowles as well, I think she has been unreasonably demonized for her affair with Prince Charles by all the "Princess Di groupies". I was never a fan of Princess Diana; she just never understood the role in life that she agreed to......my god, romance is for the unwashed masses (and usually most of us find it to be very disappointing) she should have appreciated her opportunities for what they were instead of thinking she could have it all. Her story is a cautionary tale......if you are a princess, act like a princess or die like white trash.......what an obvious choice, unfortunately for her she didn't get that memo in time.

Overall, a good book with lots of interesting information. show less