Things the Grandchildren Should Know

Reading the words of Mark Everett comforts me. He removes the flowery, poetry shit that a lot of people feel they need to pad the books about their lives with. Blunt, like his music, you can take it or leave it. And while the man has no children, let alone grandchildren, the book allows anyone who wants to know him easy access into his mind. It's one of the greatest memoirs I've ever read, and the best book I've read this year - which is still young, by the way.

Like his music, Everett's book has its own tone. It allows you to relate to a man you'd think wouldn't have anything in common with the rest of us.

As a DJ at college station WXOU (Oakland University) the CD library had indie rock CDs in marked with black electrical tape on the spine. All that rows and rows of black from the '90s and aughts... most of it same as the other and so-so. Some, really remarkable. Eels stands out from that pack. The more I revisit Mark "E" Everett's work, the more I enjoy it. This revealing, unabashed autobiography adds depth (and includes audio snippets) of several songs and the backstory on the recording of the early albums, from the soul-sapping "biz" side to the tragedies including the early deaths of his father and sister beside a spate of cray-cray g-friends.

Mark Everett seems to have a compelling story to tell: son of a fascinating theoretical physicist, a devastating family history of mental illness and suicide, life as an (indie) rockstar. Unfortunately, the clunkiness of much of his prose makes getting at that story a chore. A few chapters in, in spite of the intrigue of the narrative, I had to put the book down, where it languished for a few months in the middle of my reading pile before finally being returned to the bookshelf.

For fans of Everett's music, perhaps the book is indispensable. As a stand-alone memoir, it would have benefited greatly from a much more hands-on editor.

Thanks to the Early Reviewers program, reading “Things the Grandchildren Should Know” was a new experience for me. As with most people, the biographies I read are always about someone I know a great deal about, or have heard of, or at least have some interest in.

I can honestly say I’ve never heard of Mark Oliver Everett (sorry, Mark) or the music group he founded, the EELS. But when I received this book in the mail and read the praise on the back and the first page that proclaims, “The following is a true story. Some names and hair colors have been changed.”, I was all in.

Before going further, I did make myself a promise that I wouldn’t use the power of the Internet to find out ANYTHING about Everett…I would only learn show more about him through his own words. (Although once his career started to take off and he started to meet more and more famous people – I was sorely tempted.)

And so I learned about this very thoughtful and very funny man through the lens with which he sees his life and world.

I say funny even though much that I found funny was in a sort of startled, shocked way…words that caught me off guard, forcing me to go back and confirm that I’d read what I thought I had. The first part of many of his anecdotes lull you into thinking all is well…and then his last few words practically grab on to your eyeballs.

“It’s weird hanging out and sleeping in the same room with two people you’ve never spoken to and aren’t allowed to speak to, but I was trained pretty well for this by being in the same room with my father all those years.”

And: “At the end of the summer, which I had already started referring to as The Summer of Love, I drove my gold ’71 Chevy Nova away from home for the first time. I had bought the car that I called “Old Gold” complete with a stop sign used in place of its rusted-out floorboard, for a hundred bucks from my hot, blonde cousin Jennifer, who years later would die on the plane that hit the Pentagon September 11, 2001. She was a flight attendant. Sent a postcard from Dulles Airport that morning that read “Ain’t Life Grand?” in big letters on the front.”

Weren’t expecting that, were you?

And some things just made me smile. “Reviews don’t really mean anything if you look at the history of rock journalism. They usually can’t tell what will stand the test of time when they review something brand new on a tight deadline, but I’m going to let myself feel good about this. (Book reviewers: this doesn’t mean you, of course. I have nothing but the utmost respect for what you do. How do you like the book so far?)”

But what stands out in this book, this story, this life is Everett’s honesty about some of the most difficult, gut wrenching and sometimes embarrassing parts of his life.

“Pretty soon after that, (after his sister Liz attempts suicide) Liz and my mom went out of town to visit relatives and I found my father’s dead body lying there sideways on my parents’ bed, fully dressed in his usual shirt and tie, with his feet almost on the floor, like he just sat down to die at fifty-one. I tried to learn CPR from the 911 operator on the phone, carrying my father’s already-stiff body across the bedroom floor. It was weird touching him. That was the first time we had any physical contact that I could remember, other than the occasional cigarette burn on my arm while squeezing by him in the hallway.”

That paragraph, by the way? On page 2.

Everett’s way of expressing himself is just so clear and so blunt that his words really hit home.

“Bob Dylan said that, when he was young, he had a secret sense of his destiny. I wish I had something like that, but I didn’t. At all. All I had was an aching sense of desperation and an acute cluelessness – a nasty combination.”

And even after Everett’s career proves to be a pretty solid success, “I still have occasional bouts of desperation where I feel like there’s no hope. And I hate going to a new doctor or dentist. Not for the usual reasons, though. It’s the part where you fill out the personal information, when I get to, IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, CONTACT: I don’t know what to put there, and it makes me really sad and embarrassed. It’s the loneliest feeling, having no family. Holidays really suck and I usually try to pretend they’re not happening. On the bright side, Christmas shopping is a cinch.”

Mark Oliver Everett’s memoir is touching, funny, incredibly sad, and self deprecating. (“So what kind of an ego do you have to have to write a book about your life and expect anyone to care? A huge one!”)

I enjoyed this book immensely. Not only is the book an excellent read, his song lyrics, even absent of the music behind them, were at turns deeply disturbing and deeply moving. They stand alone as poetry. Lovely, sad, and above all, honest.

Because Everett’s main focus is his music, and because this book covers most of his life, the odds that I get to read anything else by him are slim, but if he chooses to write more, I’m in, I’m all in. show less

I've been a moderate fan of the Eels since way back when "Novocaine For the Soul" was getting all of that radio play, but I didn't really come to appreciate what an awesome guy Mark E. is until I caught the BBC special, "Parallel Worlds, Parallel Lives."

The program features Mark visiting people and places to learn more about his father, Hugh Everett, a physicist who was responsible for some major theories in the fifties but never really got a lot of credit for them. In the program, Mark came across as a really funny, humble guy. With his book, "Things the Grandchildren Should Know," he proves that he really is that guy. He writes honestly about his father's death and other tragic family details in a straightforward style that is show more tempered with great humor and gives the reader a sense of insiderness, as though Mark is one of your good buddies and you're swapping stories late at night, trusting one another to understand how sad life can be but how beautiful and even thoroughly enjoyable as well.

Along with the tender personal family issues that many readers can relate to, Everett also provides a glimpse into the world of becoming & being a professional rock star, all the while maintaining a humble voice with humorous insight. show less

Things the Grandchildren Should Know is the story of Mark Oliver Everett, the musician behind the indie rock band Eels. Everett tells us from the opening pages that he intends to be forthright, and he certainly succeeds in doing so and presenting his life story as it happened, unembellished, with great honesty and humility.

The story of Everett’s musical career and artistic development is interesting, but the real heart of What the Grandchildren Should Know lies in Everett’s exploration of his family life. When Liz is eventually successful in her attempts to end her life, we see him mourn for her and struggle to balance his personal sorrow with his increasing professional success. When his mother is diagnosed with terminal cancer and show more he returns to Virginia to care for her, we are with him in the room as he watches her die, and we witness his decision to celebrate the life he has left.

I loved Things the Grandchildren Should Know because it was so refreshingly honest and real. Everett’s story is, as he says, “peculiar,” but he tells it in a straightforward fashion without any of the “Hey! Look how weird my life is!” factor that accompanies many memoirs today. He turns his personal tragedies into opportunities for growth and self-examination and creation, and he does so without being self-congratulatory, smug, or boastful.

Reading this memoir, it is easy to imagine you are sitting in a bar with Everett, hearing his story over a pitcher of beer, while a struggling indie band rocks out a few feet away. He is, at turns, thoughtful, insightful, witty, and funny, and he’s telling a story you definitely want to hear.

Read my full review at The Book Lady's Blog. show less

I feel I should start out by mentioning that prior to reading this book, I'd never heard of Mark Oliver Everett, and I had only a vague 'oh yeah, I think I've heard of them' recognition of his band, the Eels.

That having been said, I love this book. Everett writes with such candor that you can't help but be drawn into his story. Some memoirs are pretentious, and some are boring, but this is neither. As Everett takes us along for the ride, we learn about what drives him and what inspires him. Lyrics from his songs are included in the stories that caused them to be put down on paper.

I sat down with this book the night it arrived in my mailbox and finished it the next morning. Reading it feels like Everett himself is sitting there, telling show more you his story, chatting with you like you're old friends.

I certainly look forward to rereading Everett's story after I've had the opportunity to investigate his music. While I don't think it's necessary for a reader to be familiar with his work before picking up Things The Grandchildren Should Know, I think it would be a nice bonus. show less