Life Without Friends

I was so excited when I discovered that this had been recently released as an ebook, because it’s been out of print and I’ve been looking for it ever since I read White’s Long May She Reign in 2010.

A decade of wanting to read something may be an unfair amount of pressure to put on any book, especially on a teen novel from 1987, but I was not disappointed.

Beverly’s ex-boyfriend has been charged with murder and everyone -- her classmates, her father, even Beverly herself -- blames Beverly for not telling anyone sooner what she knew about Tim. She’s trying to keep her head down and get through her final weeks of high school without talking to anyone, not even the psychologist her father insists she sees. Then she meets a boy in show more the Public Gardens who doesn’t know anything about her past.

White is so good at writing smart, acerbic teenage girls with intense emotions.
Beverly isn’t just dealing with the guilt and grief surrounding the death of a classmate, she also was in what, from my 21st century perspective, was clearly an abusive relationship and she lost her mother in distressing circumstances a few years earlier.

Her backstory is a bit too info-dumpy, but otherwise I liked White’s writing. She’s got a distinctive, unusual style. Beverly’s relationship with Derek is delightful to read about, so believably awkward and tentative and hopeful. Two people with their own flaws and fears who enjoy each other’s company and make the effort -- and sometimes it really is an effort -- to get to know each other. It’s, like, everything I want from teen romance.

I don’t agree with a review that said “the neat resolution of Beverly's problems strains credulity”. In the end, Beverly in a better place, physically, emotionally and in her relationships, but it hasn’t been an easy journey to get there -- and the book left me with the sense that that journey isn’t over.

It’s optimistic, but not implausibly so.

“Like, if you weren’t so totally weird, I’d ask you out.” He frowned. “You’d prob’ly call the cops ‘r something.”
Beverly looked at him slouching against the fence, hair tousled, cigarette hanging.
“Is this your James Dean imitation?”
“Give it more pain,” he said, and slouched lower, demonstrating. He straightened. “So, do I ask you out, or what?”
“Couldn’t we just be -- friends or something?”
“Friends,” he said.
“Well, yeah, I, uh,” she coughed, “don’t have so many right now.” show less

Ellen Emerson White's characters do seem to be very similar - girls from upper class Boston, who usually enjoy sports (typically tennis and skiing- in this case running), and are undoubtedly wicked smart - but each one is so different in her own way that I can't help but love them all. Beverly from Life Without Friends is no exception. Beverly hasn't exactly had an easy time of things, after her mother died, she's gone to live with her father, step-mother and 5-year-old step-brother Oliver who she couldn't get along with less. In hindsight, she chose the wrong kids to hang around with at school, but at the time, gorgeous and fast-living Tim seemed to be perfect. Not unexpectedly, Beverly is at the center of a murder scandal at her show more school, finding herself ostracized and friendless and constantly eaten up by guilt and self-loathing - wishing she had only done something to stop Tim.Enter Derek, s fun-loving guy who does landscaping at one of the city parks. After a series of pretty dang humorous encounters, Beverly and Derek embark on a somewhat unusual friendship (meaning Derek doesn't usually know if they will be friends the next day or not). Derek is more than persistent (thankfully) when it comes to Beverly though and doesn't relent until he gets her to open up to him and slowly helps her work through some of her guilt and fears - while making her laugh every step of the way. My kind of guy. That's not the only reason I am in serious like with Derek however, he is just so dang sweet and thoughtful. Like when he was to meet her parents for the first time, he dressed up and even cut his hair and was very anxious to find out what Beverly thought of the result. Sweet.I couldn't have loved Beverly's story more. Obviously, she's got some major issues to deal with and demons to beat back but she's trying to work through it all, that (to me) is a major show of courage. That seems to be one of the overall themes in Ellen Emerson White's books; even when her characters have to deal with some tough times, they've proven themselves to be up to the task and so I'm never worried for their futures. Curious? Yes, but anxious, no. I also love that on the cover here she's sitting on the bench that she spends so much time sitting on with Derek. Nice. show less