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Meetings of the Quorum of the Twelve are closed to outsiders, but apostles once kept detailed personal notes. Clawson, for instance, tells of weekly prayers around an altar, dressed in robes; a sacrament of wine; and animated discussions. President Joseph F. Smith decided in 1902 that it would not be "wise and prudent to show our hand in (financial) matters, " saying it excited "covetousness and criticism, " while Clawson noted dryly that the previous year's "appropriations to church authorities" had exceeded the funds "appropriated for the poor."The most volatile disagreements centered on polygamy. In 1903 one senior apostle "bore testimony to the truth of the principle ... and said that the brethren of the Twelve should ... not wait until old age comes on. Brethren, he said, do not neglect your opportunities." Ten months later Clawson, forty-seven, took a post-Manifesto polygamous wife, Pearl Udall, twenty-four.Another apostle wanted assurance that "confidences would be held sacred, even if we were called before the courts of the land." A third agreed: "We live in a delicate time and need to be wise and prudent in all things. No more cogs should be allowed to slip. The brethren present should be clear on this point."