The Good Mother

I reread this book this summer. It was worth reading again. My own perspectives have shifted in 30 years, although of course, the author's perspective and the story itself has not. But the way words transcend and burrow between the tendrils of our shifting understanding is one of the beauties of a good story.



It continues to be a profoundly sad story, and I am not going to write about the specifics of the book, or the ideas that are explored except to say that ideas of what constitutes good parenting are extremely culture-specific, no matter how much we hold our own beliefs as sacred. And yet, there was a moment, a moment when Anna was meeting with the family services representative,, when she says too much and states that she and Leo show more had sex while her daughter, Molly, was asleep in the bed, when "her (the family services lady's) face firmed, suddenly looked younger and tougher", a moment when everything changes. I suspect that Molly might have won based solely on the original charge, but not on this point, not in that time and place.



That moment was pregnant with emotional weight. It reminded me a recent moment, well, in the last year of George's life, a far less significant moment with far less serious repercussions. It was evening. George had been put to bed and I was watching TV in one room and his night-time caregiver was in the adjoining room. I was watching one of the early episodes of the HBO series Girls and there was a moment, and it was probably related to a sexual encounter, where, although she was just listening, the young woman stiffened, and sat more upright, with a small stifled gasp. It was not so much the sex that prompted the response, but something about the attitude and response of the characters in the story. It was a moment in which I realized I could not watch that show as long as I had caregivers in my house. I lived in a different place than I had before, I had women taking care of my husband who had very different views of the world, and that even a simple thing like watching a television show could render our situation untenable. I could have stood on principle, that in my own home I could watch what I wanted, and I think the show had much to say that was worth watching, and yet I could not. I could watch all the blood and guts and violence in the world, should I wish to do so, but that show alone had a powerful potential to change perceptions, and therefore harm my ability to care for George.



But that moment is not the entire book. I ended up agreeing with some of Nimoy's perceptions and disagreeing with others. The young Anna shows a certain flatness and lack of emotional depth, not due to a failure of the writer's but simply as a part of her character. She is very inwardly-drawn and reserved, although for a brief period, during her love-affair, she opens up in different ways. There is evidence from the beginning however that her relationship with Leo will never work, that this is not who she is, so the subsequent shutting down is not surprising. Of course the story is also told from Anna's perspective, as a reflection on the past. There is some small comfort in that, in this story which is a modern tragedy and in which there is no true happy ending. Although Anna's voice is a quiet voice, there are hints, not insignificant hints, peppered throughout, that she has not completely withdrawn again, that she has in fact begun to find herself through this terrible story, and all is not completely lost. Could things have been different? Could Anna have stood on principle and not backed down? Perhaps. But that is not the story being told; although it may have been a more satisfying story, I suspect it would have also been less significant. The reader is left, puzzling over a world that will never be the same, and not, perhaps as it could have been (I refuse to say "should"), in short, life. show less

i really, really like sue miller's writing. i think this is the third of her books that i've read (while i was gone and the distinguished guest) and her writing is always just captivating. i found this really compelling, but i'm not sure that i actually liked what she was doing all that much, when i think about it. i am not sure why so many things in the first third were introduced; they really seem peripheral. i mean, the leo character wasn't even introduced until a third of the way in. i do think that 1986 was a different time, and i try to keep that in mind when thinking about what worked for me, and what didn't.

anyway, as a concept, this is really interesting, and she writes it well. what happens when you are pitted against your show more child or your lover, and you have to choose one? at the same time, i didn't really think her reaction, when she heard the issue, had enough doubt in it. she didn't ask to speak to molly so she could hear what she said happened, she didn't question her memories or herself, or really even leo.

definitely, though, a compelling story and concept, and her writing kept me very engaged throughout. show less

excellent custody feelings

Recently divorced, Anna Dunlap has two passionate attachments: her daughter, four-year-old Molly, and her lover, Leo, the man who makes her feel beautiful -- and sexual -- for the first time. Swept away by happiness and passion, Anna feels she has everything she's ever wanted.
Then come the shocking charges that would threaten her new love, her new "family" ... that force her to prove she is a good mother.

This has a weighty, serious, introspective feel about it, and yet the subject matter is the sort of stuff Take A Break magazine churns out every week. Except that they would have sidestepped all the fancy stuff about playing the piano, family etc and cut straight to the nudity.

I admired the writing, the way the reader is immersed in every aspect of the main character's life. Having said that, the early stages sometimes felt like a slog - the chapters are lo-o-o-ong, and I would often find myself halfway down a page, having glided over the text without taking any of it in. Sometimes I had to read and re-read passages before I understood them. Some I could read an infinite number of times and still not understand.

If you can make it as far show more as the nudity it is unputdownable. The last hundred pages positively raced by. It's definitely worth the effort; I suspect the images will stay with me a long time. show less

I think that Sue Miller is a good writer, I really do. Unfortunately I do not like her protagonists in the books I have read of hers so far. Rather horsey, passive, self-deprecating women. I don't really get what their men find attractive about them. I liked Leo; I liked the descriptions of the summer camp in Maine. Unfortunately, I was almost a wee bit glad at the ending -- I don't think that was the authors intention

From the cover - Anna is a divorced Boston piano teacher feeling her way toward an independent new life for herself and her three-year-old daughter Molly. A good mother, who never found much pleasure in sex, Anna soon surprises herself when she meets Leo, a wildly impulsive artist, unabashedly sensual and passionate. With Leo Anna blooms. But in the heat of their intensely sexual affair she does not see Molly's confusion, nor the threat to everything in life she holds dear...
The story is told in the 1st person through the eyes of Anna and so the reader is as shocked as Anna at the turn of events.Sue Miller creates vivid, recognisable characters, not only in Anna, Molly and Leo, but also in her grandparentsand extended family.
The show more scenario must be one that many modern parents have been confronted by when embarking on new relationships, maintaining a safe, loving, stable home without stifling a promising new relationship.
I found this quite a page turner. show less

Recently divorced, Anna Dunlop has two passionate attachments: Molly, her four-year-old daughter, and her lover, Leo, the man who has made her feel beautiful - and sexual - for the first time in a long, long time. Swept away by happiness and passion, Anna feels that she has everything she needs in her life. Almost blind to certain changes around her, Anna will soon find that these shocking changes will threaten her new love, her new "family" and will eventually force her to prove she is a good mother.

I am not entirely sure, but I think that I may have read this book many, many years ago. Some of the scenes in it seemed slightly familiar to me, but I don't think that my having read it before affected my rereading of the book too much - I show more still couldn't remember the ending of the story! :) I loved this book and give it top marks, even though I found the sex scenes in the book almost too graphic for me.

I understand that the book needed to be graphic to make the plot work, however I guess I was just not that used to having such scenes be so descriptive. I found this book to be well written and very engrossing though, and would certainly recommend this book to other readers. I give this book an A+! and look forward to reading more books by Sue Miller in the future. show less