The Idle Parent: Why Laid-Back Parents Raise Happier and Healthier Kids

As I find myself moving away from naturalism, I have to admit that I found myself looking for reasons to dislike this book. He does claim at the beginning to take Emile as his parenting role model. But he absolutely veers away from the crazy. For example, for all of his talk about schools being mind factories and huge wastes of time, and his recommendations to homeschool, and his support of Summerhill, he still seems to take it for granted that your kids need some fairly strict educating. He suggests boarding school, and when he first brings up homeschooling, he suggests an ideal schedule would be a few hours of hard learning followed by play and self learning the rest of the day. I kind of got the feeling that if you mentioned show more unschooling to him, he would have sort of a blank look and then ask where you fit memorizing Latin declensions into that. I like that.

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It's such fun to read about helicopter parents on the "other side of the pond." Tom Hodgkinson writes with good humor about the need to get out of our kids faces and allow them to explore the world in an unmediated way, without hand wringing adults nearby. He includes a great reading list of books, a special bonus, that adults will enjoy reading with their kids at bedtime. The book can be read as a series of essays, with breaks in between, or straight through, and it is a completely enjoyable manifesto for freedom.

Three stars because i think it's important someone speaks against the actual trend of parenting. The author seems in love with his beer drinking but i think it was more a sarcastic thing than his real interest. The book should be read as a fun, sarcastic approach to real problem: hovering, over booking and getting involved with all details of the life of our children.
The main theme is that children need some quiet, Unplanned time to play. I totally agree with that!
I love the core idea of the book not so much the style of the writer

Interesting antidote to the 'tiger mother' view of parenting. Hodgkinson is an advocate of a more hands off parenting style that leaves the kids with plenty of free time in which to explore the world around them and yes, even to experience being 'bored'. I liked a lot of what he said but have to admit that not all of it would suit me - camping trips in fields with lots of other families so the kids can run wild and the adults can get on with relaxing and socialising - that's really not my cup of tea so I guess while I'm definitely not a tiger mother I wouldn't rate very well in the idle parent stakes either!

It was with trepidation that I started this book - I have read some of Hodgkinson's writing on his website and heard him on the radio a few times, and I had already guessed that his book was going to infuriate me as many times as I agreed with it. And so it was.

This book is infuriating - the author manages to contradict himself and want to have his cake and eat it too - agreeing to philosophical arguments, except for the bits he doesn't like; espousing playing with your kids whenever they ask, yet making sure your life is your own and your kids realise that they have to fit in with it, etc. It is also all very well to tell parents to just enjoy being with and playing with their kids, but there are some of us (and going by what I have show more encountered anecdotally, a lot of us) that just don't enjoy imaginative play with stuffed toys, or play-doh. We don't have children that will sit enraptured while we make up stories. So much of his advice is useless.

That said, Hodgkinson is realistic enough to admit that even he has problems with his advice at times. Admittedly this often crosses the line into smug 'oh, I am so not good at this' territory, but other times it makes him feel more human.

Overall, there are some great ideas and suggestions in this book. And the general philosophy is a good one. However, I think something like 'The Three Martini Playdate' does a better and more realistic job of the realistic parenting/get on with your life as an adult and don't make raising kids such a huge deal book idea. show less

Wow. A totally refreshing read. This book is so enjoyable and reminds the reader that family time cab be enjoyable and simple and that there is no need for highly stimulating, motivating, pre planned, often costly activities and that it is good to just 'be' and enjoy time together. He reminds parents of the joy of nature, music, dance, reading and suggests limiting computer and tv use. A highly enjoyable book which will enhance your family life, will make you 'free' and will not cost you a penny.

If you long to create for your family a beautiful life full of music and books, parties and naps, bonfires and ponies, look no further than Tom Hodgkinson's inspiring manual on raising kids.

In stark contrast to the supremely un-fun "Tiger Mom" approach and psyche-speak offerings that urge you to "tame your toddler", The Idle Parent is a totally refreshing guide to family life. Follow Tom's advice and you will soon find your creative, independent and non-whiny children bringing you tea while you have a nice lazy lie-in with your spouse. Sweet!

In one chapter, Hodgkinson shares a reading list of the authors, stories and poetry that he and his children most enjoy. He recommends picking the books up at jumble sales for a few cents, because show more idle parents are thrifty and don't spend lots of money on stuff. More space to dance that way. These books are more suited to kids age 5 and up.

1. The Ahlbergs - Each Peach Pear Plum and Peepo!

2. J.M. Barrie - Peter Pan

3. The poetry of William Blake - in particular, 'The Tyger'

4. Enid Blyton - The Famous Five books and The Faraway Tree

5. Raymond Briggs - Fungus the Bogeyman, The Snowman

6. Lewis Carroll - The Alice books

7. Roald Dahl - Danny the Champion of the World

8. Daniel Defoe - Robinson Crusoe

9. Charles Dickens - A Christmas Carol

10. Arthur Conan Doyle - Sherlock Holmes mysteries

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