I read this while in/out of an abusive relationship because a woman recommended it to me, suggesting that instead of being abused that I was a "love addict." I don't recommend this book to anyone who suspects they are in a toxic relationship or one that has significant power imbalances (abuse), as often, books without abuse disclaimers can contribute to the further gaslighting of victims, and further the self-blame.

A must read for anyone entering a relationship with expectations of changing your partner. ( )

This book is about examining relationships, and how a person, mostly women, participate in those relationships in an unhealthy way. I loved my ex-husband too much, he wasn't the worst one I had loved too much, but he was the one that I changed after. The entire book was like reading my journey in the 4 years that followed, 2 years of very intense, very regular therapy, and then 2 more years of continuing the growth and the skills I had learned and application of them, to reaching where I am now. I understand why my therapist wanted me to read this, it describes the way my marriage was at the end far to perfectly. The preface spoke to my state of mind when I started seeing her in 2014, "Indeed that both were literately dying of their addictions, he from effects of chemical abuse, she from the side effects of extreme stress." I still cringe at calling myself addicted to love, it has such negative connotations in my mind, but just because I don't like it doesn't make untrue.
The book says "Loving too much does not mean loving too many men, or falling too often, or having to great a depth of genuine love for another. It means, in truth, obsessing about a man and calling that obsession love, allowing it to control your emotions ad much of your behavior, realizing that it negatively influences your health and well-being, and yet finding yourself unable to let go. It means measuring the degree of your love by the depth of your torment." That was me, maybe not the way I viewed myself but me. If any of this reminded you of yourself, I recommend this book. I have touched on my personal revelations from this book, but there was so much more that didn't apply to me, but may to you.
For more reviews see my blog: https://adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot.com ( )

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