Shades of Gray

I really enjoyed Shades of Gray. There’s something about law enforcement types that I find so hot. And Miller definitely had it going on, even if he was delusional. Danny too was a compelling character. He hooked up with his drug lord boss when he was 18 and working a low-end job. His father was abusive and so he struck on out his own and the second Danny got into Hinestroza’s vehicle, he knew he made a mistake. But one he couldn’t get out of. And so now in his early 30s, he’s Hinestroza’s trusted lackey and the target of the FBI, who force him into turning on his boss. You see, even though Danny knows he’s doing wrong, Hinestroza provided for Danny and so Danny is twistedly loyal to him because of his own daddy issues. show more Here’s someone who appreciates Danny’s efforts and trusts him (to a degree). Danny though is a very deep well of emotion – he feels guilt over the people he has dragged into his own screwed up life. There’s a buddy of his from the early days and there’s his ex-wife. Their lives are forever affected because of knowing and loving Danny. Danny is burdened down by guilt. But he takes the good stuff where he can but otherwise puts his head down and does his job. But Miller changes all that when he gets him turn on Hinestroza. At first, Miller has Danny go back home and act like nothing has changed – but Hinestroza tortures Danny’s ex-wife and realizes there’s something fishy going on. He sets his dirty-work man, Madrigal, after Danny but since Danny’s familiar with how Madrigal works, he manages to escape in time and Miller sets Danny up in protective housing.

And this is where things get interesting. Danny has recognized the flashes of interest he’s received from Miller – but Miller is so totally blind to the fact that he is attracted to Danny. There is a two-pronged denial going on here. First because Danny is a criminal. Second, because Danny is a man. But Miller gets to the point where he can no longer deny that he wants Danny and oh my goodness is it ever hot when he gives in to his desire. The tension here is so well done up to that point that it just catches the page on fire when they get together– for me anyway. *g*

While these gorgeous men embark on a steamy, secret affair (Miller could lose his job for getting involved with a key witness, for which he feels guilt too), all is not well. Both guys realize that once Danny is placed in the Witness Protection Program, the affair is over. And although Danny and Miller don’t acknowledge their feelings, they’re both sad to think of things having to end.

Eventually, Madrigal finds where the FBI is hiding Danny and these two lovers have to run again. And that’s where Shades of Gray really kicks it up another notch. Because now Hinestroza has a hit out on Miller.

I have to tell you, I really feared for Danny and Miller’s HEA. There were so many obstacles to these men being together, it was almost painful reading their story. I was really gunning for these guys. The set up of this story also reminded me of Jane Seville’s Zero at the Bone. That story has an assassin and a doctor on the run, but there were some similarities and I liked how it was almost a role reversal – an assassin and an FBI agent. It was good stuff.

I definitely want to read more by this author. show less

This is a wonderful, masterfully-written story about two men on opposite sides of the law. FBI Agent Miller Sutton has spent the past nine months tracking and learning everything about drug runner Danny Butler. Finally, after Danny gets busted on gun charges, Miller has an opportunity to catch the elusive drug lord and Danny's boss Hinestroza by convincing Danny to testify against his criminal employer. When Hinestroza learns about this betrayal, Danny is placed under Miller's protection, living with him in an apartment safehouse owned by the FBI. In these close quarters, it becomes increasingly difficult for them to ignore their growing attraction.

McKinley weaves a compelling and emotional tale with tight prose and fully-fleshed out show more characters. I loved seeing the slow build of Miller and Danny's mutual attraction and understanding, and the tenderness they shared when they finally got together. I thought the process they took from first meeting to becoming a couple was done in a fairly believable way. Granted, the entire premise of this book requires much suspension of disbelief, but I think if an FBI agent and a criminal informant were to get together, this would be how it happens. I really appreciate how McKinley never makes it easy for Miller and Danny. They both face some extremely difficult moral choices and have to live with the consequences of their decisions. I had difficulty imagining how McKinley would pull off a happy ending for these two considering their circumstances, but she managed to do it very convincingly without sacrificing the integrity of the characterizations or the internal logic of the plot.

There are only a couple things that keep this from being a 5 star read for me. First off, I think the timeline is a little fast. The way Miller and Danny's relationship developed was realistic, but the book mentions at one point that they had only been living together for about a month when they got together. That really surprised me, since it seemed like far more time had passed in the story. It didn't really ring true for me that they would have such deep feelings for each other at that point. Miller also makes a critical decision at the climax of the novel which would have been more believable if he and Danny had been together for longer.

I did like how McKinley dealt with the ending of the story. Too many authors wrap up their books really quickly after the climax and slap a happily ever after on it without really showing us how the characters would get there. Shades of Grey still had a significant amount of pages after the climax, which covered how Danny and Miller dealt with the aftermath. I liked that we got to see how Danny and Miller lived with the consequences of their actions and decisions, and how they were both changed by the events of the book. The ending, when it finally came, was incredibly touching and demonstrated the depth of the love Miller and Danny had for each other. The ending isn't a typical happily ever after, but it is deeply satisfying. show less

This reminded me of Marie Sexton's "Zero at the Bone". Two men, on opposite sides of the law, thrown together who become lovers. This may be a bit more realistic with a drug dealer and an FBI agent as opposed to a hitman and a witness, but the dark overtone to the romance is the same - and just as satisfying.

Agent Sutton manipulates Danny into testifying against his drug lord. When it's discovered, Danny has to go into hiding. Forced together in tight quarters, Sutton is confronted with the reality that nothing is black and white, especially the justice system. When he begins to have feelings for Danny, he fights it. Danny is nothing; a criminal who deserves what he gets, right? It's no easy thing to make a drug dealer sympathetic. As show more the author works to convince Sutton, she also works to convince readers. Danny's history is revealed bit by bit, as is his own poor self image. He's not an innocent; he made bad choices. So has Sutton, when he finally looks into the mirror.

The author uses a lot of detail of the criminal justice system to support the plot, and it gives the romance a nice depth. Danny and Sutton are fully developed characters (though they are the only ones). There are substantial obstacles to their relationship, not the least of which is their own baggage. When the case falls apart and the men are free to move past it, Danny makes a surprising but very realistic choice. It's not a cookie cutter HEA, they have to work for it. Overall, this was an excellent romance with a suspenseful plot and realistic protagonists. I will definitely look for more by McKinley. show less

I know it's not fair to compare this book to Zero at the Bone, but, I can't help it. It's sort of a similar storyline. Where I think Zero was a bit more ambitious, in the end I thought it bit off more than it could chew. Shades of Gray takes a smaller bite and is a bit more graceful about it as a result.

The book opens with Danny Butler sweating, and bleeding, it out while waiting alone in a police interrogation room. A cop pulled him over for running a red light and bags him on a weapons charge, dragging him through a broken window in the process, leaving him bloodied and looking at a long stint in federal prison. He's a career criminal. In the fourteen years since he joined Roberto Hinestroza's international drug smuggling enterprise show more at 18, he's risen up the ranks and is currently a mid-level drug runner. He's no stranger to the federal prison system, and he's not at all eager to head back, but he's even less eager to roll over on Mr. Hinestroza and take a deal with the FBI. Not only is he afraid of getting killed, he has a sense of loyalty towards the drug lord that he's not ready to abandon.

FBI Special Agent Miller Sutton wants Danny to take this deal, and he's not above playing dirty to get what he wants. He's been on Hinestroza's case for three years, following Danny for over half a year, so he pushes and pulls to get what he wants, implying that he'd let Hinestroza think Danny's working with the Feds even if Danny turned him down. He knows he's being a dick, that he's placing this guy in mortal danger, but that's just what he does. He's with the Good Guys. Sad for Miller that he's not sure he believes his own propaganda anymore. He wins a deal from Danny, so why doesn't he feel like a winner?

Though the plot is centered by Danny informing on his boss, outrunning a hitman and the like, it's not really a romantic suspense. It's more of a character study than anything else. As Miller babysits Danny in a secure apartment, they talk and form a friendship. Approval-starved Danny is attracted to the good in Special Agent Miller Sutton. Closeted Miller, stressed out by living a carefully guarded lie, is mesmerized by the impulsive, comfortably gay Danny. They're clearly attracted to each other early on, but just how would a FBI agent and a drug runner hook up?

I found the romance gritty, but entirely realistic. Not in the way that this is how any of my friends have met their better half, but that if an FBI agent were to hook up with an ex-felon informant, this is a completely plausible how. I mean, what they're doing breaks all their rules. So why? Why these two? Why now?

McKinley's superior characterization answered those questions for me. Through dialog, POV prose and bits of deep POV flashback, we get the full picture of both lead characters and what made them who they are today. Both have a character arc that spans the length of the book. Both are sympathetic, but with flaws and bad decisions aplenty. At the beginning, it seems a bit like Miller is the good guy and Danny the bad guy. But the more we find out about the both of them, the more decisions they make, the more those lines blur.

It's hard to offer examples of the characters without giving away crucial bits of plot. Both plot and character are closely intertwined and paced perfectly. Suffice to say, I could see how Miller could feel so overwhelmed by his life perched upon one lie after another that Danny was the straw to break the camel's back and make him throw everything away and start over. I could also see how maybe Miller needed to do it this way, so that he'd have no way to go back to how he'd been living before even if he wanted to. Those actions and decisions, I thought, turned him into a man only someone like Danny, who is well acquainted with how easily people can screw their lives up, could understand. By the end, Danny has begun to acknowledge the good inside him and live with it, while Miller is just getting used to living with his darkness.

I'm doing a bad job of reviewing this. I can never decently review a five star book. They've got a magic quality to their storytelling that I can never quite adequately describe. But, to sum it up, this was a great character-driven romantic suspense in which the characters personalities, gender and sexuality all played a major role in the plot. Both men acted like men; neither could have been replaced by a heroine and kept this plot. It was a story that could only be told within a m/m framework. It's a rare book that makes me want to re-read it so soon after finishing it. show less

I really enjoyed Shades of Gray. There’s something about law enforcement types that I find so hot. And Miller definitely had it going on, even if he was delusional. Danny too was a compelling character. He hooked up with his drug lord boss when he was 18 and working a low-end job. His father was abusive and so he struck on out his own and the second Danny got into Hinestroza’s vehicle, he knew he made a mistake. But one he couldn’t get out of. And so now in his early 30s, he’s Hinestroza’s trusted lackey and the target of the FBI, who force him into turning on his boss. You see, even though Danny knows he’s doing wrong, Hinestroza provided for Danny and so Danny is twistedly loyal to him because of his own daddy issues. show more Here’s someone who appreciates Danny’s efforts and trusts him (to a degree). Danny though is a very deep well of emotion – he feels guilt over the people he has dragged into his own screwed up life. There’s a buddy of his from the early days and there’s his ex-wife. Their lives are forever affected because of knowing and loving Danny. Danny is burdened down by guilt. But he takes the good stuff where he can but otherwise puts his head down and does his job. But Miller changes all that when he gets him turn on Hinestroza. At first, Miller has Danny go back home and act like nothing has changed – but Hinestroza tortures Danny’s ex-wife and realizes there’s something fishy going on. He sets his dirty-work man, Madrigal, after Danny but since Danny’s familiar with how Madrigal works, he manages to escape in time and Miller sets Danny up in protective housing.

And this is where things get interesting. Danny has recognized the flashes of interest he’s received from Miller – but Miller is so totally blind to the fact that he is attracted to Danny. There is a two-pronged denial going on here. First because Danny is a criminal. Second, because Danny is a man. But Miller gets to the point where he can no longer deny that he wants Danny and oh my goodness is it ever hot when he gives in to his desire. The tension here is so well done up to that point that it just catches the page on fire when they get together– for me anyway. *g*

While these gorgeous men embark on a steamy, secret affair (Miller could lose his job for getting involved with a key witness, for which he feels guilt too), all is not well. Both guys realize that once Danny is placed in the Witness Protection Program, the affair is over. And although Danny and Miller don’t acknowledge their feelings, they’re both sad to think of things having to end.

Eventually, Madrigal finds where the FBI is hiding Danny and these two lovers have to run again. And that’s where Shades of Gray really kicks it up another notch. Because now Hinestroza has a hit out on Miller.

I have to tell you, I really feared for Danny and Miller’s HEA. There were so many obstacles to these men being together, it was almost painful reading their story. I was really gunning for these guys. The set up of this story also reminded me of Jane Seville’s Zero at the Bone. That story has an assassin and a doctor on the run, but there were some similarities and I liked how it was almost a role reversal – an assassin and an FBI agent. It was good stuff.

I definitely want to read more by this author. show less

This, so far, is the best M/M romance I've ever read. It's not necessarily my favorite as far as enjoyability, but it was so well written, and so beautiful, it stayed with me for days.

Yes, the whole scenario is absurd, but it's a popular one in this genre. As far as they go, this one is good. The characters are believable as are their motivations. Miller fits as a closeted cop. Danny is also believable except that he doesn't use drugs.

One thing I really liked was that these weren't perfect people. It wasn't good cop meets bad witness and reforms him. It wasn't bad cop meets witness who's never really don't anything wrong, just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They both have their demons and their sins and that makes it more show more real for me.

What I really liked about this was how they dealt with the aftermath of the relationship, after the period of time in captivity is over. I like that it wasn't possible, nor even desired, for one to change the other. I liked the resolution and ending a lot. It was right.

The only bad part was that the author hasn't written anything else! show less

This, so far, is the best M/M romance I've ever read. It's not necessarily my favorite as far as enjoyability, but it was so well written, and so beautiful, it stayed with me for days.

Yes, the whole scenario is absurd, but it's a popular one in this genre. As far as they go, this one is good. The characters are believable as are their motivations. Miller fits as a closeted cop. Danny is also believable except that he doesn't use drugs.

One thing I really liked was that these weren't perfect people. It wasn't good cop meets bad witness and reforms him. It wasn't bad cop meets witness who's never really don't anything wrong, just was in the wrong place at the wrong time. They both have their demons and their sins and that makes it more show more real for me.

What I really liked about this was how they dealt with the aftermath of the relationship, after the period of time in captivity is over. I like that it wasn't possible, nor even desired, for one to change the other. I liked the resolution and ending a lot. It was right.

The only bad part was that the author hasn't written anything else! show less