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How to Survive a GARDEN GNOME ATTACK; Defend…

How to Survive a GARDEN GNOME ATTACK; Defend Yourself When the Lawn… (2010)

by Chuck Sambuchino

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739164,469 (3.47)4



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Quirky bathroom reading material. Thats what this is and thats why I like it. ( )
  Bcushman | Jul 7, 2013 |
This is clever book. The author gives a fun guide and an inside look at the evil creature that is the lawn gnome. This book covers all things you would not have known about lawn gnomes. There is advice on how to defend yourself and your property. This book would make a great gag gift, or just a fun anytime read. You'll never look at lawn gnomes the same. ( )
  SparklePonies | Apr 30, 2013 |
My blog post about this book is at this link. ( )
  SuziQoregon | Mar 31, 2013 |
This was a nice quick read a couple weeks ago. It only took me two days, start to finish, which, the way I read and rotate through books, is amazingly fast. In part it was because it was short, only about 100 pages, and many of them had large pictures. More importantly, it was just too amusing to put down. The premise is that gnome attacks are a widespread, undiscussed problem, and this is the definitive survival manual. The author advocates, among other things, digging moats and placing quicksand (recipe provided - it needs maple syrup!) around your house to trap any approaching gnomes. Once captured, the best way to "dispose" of them is to encase them in concrete...

I'm sure there are very similar books out there for zombie attacks, but this was the first I had heard dealing with gnomes. I wonder if there's a gnome subculture out there as there is for zombies, but I suspect not. The author has evidently been asked many times where he got the idea (hey, that's exactly what my dad was asking as I read it!), and he answers that it was a snapshot of a movie that creeped him out. So I suspect he made it up. He also has an amusing blog on the subject over here.

I kinda want to buy a garden gnome now. Since my sister also read this, it could "appear" in various places to scare her!

4/5 stars for pure creativity; probably won't buy it, but it was worth a read

Review also posted to my blog at http://ojchase.blogspot.com/2012/09/how-to-survive-a-garden-gnome-attack.html ( )
  ojchase | Sep 13, 2012 |
This book is a mildly amusing defense manual on how to stay safe from garden gnomes. While somewhat similar to "The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks, I didn't find it quite as interesting. That being said, it's a quick read and will keep you entertained. ( )
  crmass | Nov 21, 2011 |
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 158008463X, Hardcover)

Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.
There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.    
   Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:07:05 -0400)

The author describes a system of strategies, with step-by-step instructions, for defending property, possessions, and loved ones against an attack by garden gnomes.

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