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How to Survive a GARDEN GNOME ATTACK; Defend Yourself When the Lawn… (2010)
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 158008463X, Hardcover)Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.
There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:07:05 -0400)
The author describes a system of strategies, with step-by-step instructions, for defending property, possessions, and loved ones against an attack by garden gnomes.
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