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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea…
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Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

by Chelsea Handler

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2,102953,133 (3.59)47
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Showing 1-5 of 92 (next | show all)
I can't seem to comprehend why or how people think this woman is funny.

With the exception of one line on page 137 where she's writing about her friend Ivory's blunt honesty: "Her style is more direct and she doesn't lie. While she's a very supportive friend, she makes no bones about telling people the absolute truth, no matter what. When months earlier I had gotten my eyebrows bleached in hopes of making my hair color look more natural, she said, 'You look like an albino, and not one of the fun ones. You need to get your money back and have them fix it. If they can't fix it, you're better odd without any at all.'

Other than that, I didn't laugh or even crack a smile......
( )
  Auntie-Nanuuq | Jan 18, 2016 |
Commedienne Chelsea Handler definitely has no filter but she is funny. These short stories about her family and friends are the sorts of tales that make you laugh but are embarrassed that you did. I don't think I'm prudish but some of her recollections are over-the-top TMI (and, yes, I chuckled despite myself). I can only hope that some of these stories are wildly exaggerated although,after seeing her tv show a few times, they may be accurate. Handler is a funny girl but can she tell jokes about anything other than body parts, sex and little people? ( )
  Ellen_R | Jan 15, 2016 |
Chelsea Handler tells humerous stories ranging from her childhood to a trip she took with her father to Costa Rica. I found most of the stories to be funny. She does use crude language so be forewarned. ( )
  RachelNF | Jan 15, 2016 |
I don't usually read memoirs, but I enjoy watching Chelsea on TV so I thought I'd give her book a try. There were some stories in there I had a hard time believing, I mean, who gets into street brawls with teenaged girls? But then again, this is Chelsea, and she's one incredibly crazy lady! Fun read. ( )
  bouldermimi | Jan 13, 2016 |
She can be hit or miss for me, but when she hits it is laugh out loud hilarious. ( )
  melaniefaith | Dec 2, 2015 |
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To my mother.

I love you, chunky monkey.
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Amazon.com Product Description (ISBN 0743573641, Audio CD)

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands-the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date--including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

(retrieved from Amazon Thu, 12 Mar 2015 18:17:59 -0400)

(see all 3 descriptions)

Synopsis: The eagerly awaited collection of personal essays from the bestselling author of My Horizontal Life. When Chelsea Handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka. You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class. Welcome to Chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. In this hilarious, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, relationships, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, or looking out for a foulmouthed, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her...only smaller, Chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.… (more)

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