Tony Johnson (2)

This book had some good ideas, but there were quite alot of fixable issues that prevent me from giving it a higher score. Now I don't often read YA, and it kind of felt like this book was targeted at a younger audience so take this review with a grain of salt.

Pros:
Helpful character sheet in the beginning
Interesting timeline
Stylized cover
Diverse bestiary

Cons:
Grammar mistakes
Lack of Characterization
Info dumps
Anachronisms

My overall issue is that much of the story involves reinforcing show more character's traits without allowing the reader to discover these things for themselves or allowing the characters to reveal them through action. Much of what we learn about backstory/background is stuffed in at inopportune times that can kill the pacing. All of the characterization we get is told to us and is often thwarted by what we see happen. For example (SPOILERS) - Stephen Brighflame, the protagonist, is talked up to be the most morally upstanding character. It is reiterated multiple times. However, in the opening conflict, one of Stephen's squires is brutally killed and the others put in severe danger. In his internal dialogue, he never refers to any of them by name. Later, when running to the castle, Stephen doesn't help a single person crying out despite doing so when he is near the castle and needs to do a cool thing.

One issue right out of the gate is that the opening conflict is essentially repeated 3 times, but without substantial time having passed for any one of the 3 protagonists so as to get a handle on what's happening or being properly invested. And even though we have multiple perspectives, we also get insight into the minds of other characters without explanation. There are also inconsistencies in the background lore, though this is also easily fixable. Lastly, there are a number of character deaths throughout that occur to characters we have little attachment to and so are kinda wasted. The book could benefit from allowing these characters to be people instead of just a combination of traits. The book should also decide where it wants to be tonally, because many of the deaths are not in keeping with its YA feel.

Some decent potential here, just requires a little bit of work. show less

I was unable to finish this book. I was only capable of getting 23% into this book. I have sent a personal message to the author indicating that this book needs some major editing. I'm giving 3 stars just for the story line ONLY! If at any point the author feels that he wants me to re-visit this book, I will be happy to.

I was unable to finish this book. I was only capable of getting 23% into this book. I have sent a personal message to the author indicating that this book needs some major editing. I'm giving 3 stars just for the story line ONLY! If at any point the author feels that he wants me to re-visit this book, I will be happy to.