Nancy Williams (3)

I'm not one that generally goes for self-help books, so I'm not sure what possessed me to request Secrets of Parenting Your Adult Children from the Early Reviewers program--well, actually, I am sure. It is those two 20-something children of mine.

The last several years have been interesting ones for me as my boys have left the house. On one hand they are adults now, and I try to treat them as my parents treated me at that age--as adults. On the other hand, there are occasions when they still show more need my help and advice--even if they don't know it or appreciate it at the time. (Luckily my parents never had that problem. haha)

In the book, author Nancy Williams does a commendable job of helping parents walk the minefield that can come with newly adult children. Her advice about how to engage them, how to stay out of their way, and how to offer help was presented in a thoughtful way, and I enjoyed the stories she included about dealing with her own children and her friends' stories of dealing with theirs. Many times I caught myself thinking, wow, I'm not the only one experiencing this.

Williams offers very practical advice, and I especially liked the chapter entitled "Be Their Coach Without Taking Charge" which included a set of clarifying questions phrased to help you communicate with your child without flat out telling him what to do.

I don't know if it was included in the blurb on the Early Reviewers site or not, but Williams is a Christian counselor from Houston and in addition to her practical advice she also encourages readers to pray and trust. I have been a Sunday School teacher for over 15 years now, and over that time my class has moved from being new parents to empty nesters. There were a lot of books that we studied early on about raising kids, and I think this book would be a nice addition to our curriculum now that we are dealing with a whole new set of situations.

Recommended! show less

I often wonder about these type of books, if they really have any "new" information to add. Reading this book finally caused an answer to come together for me. We may (or may not) have already learned or figured out all the information in it, but having it all in one concise location really does help to focus a person on the information inside.

I received this book at a great time. My oldest was in the somewhat lengthy process of 'flying the coop.' I wanted to do right by my show more not-so-little-one and this book reassured me in areas and gave me gentle reminders in others. I really appreciated the Christian undercurrent. While the book is immensely practical, it never fails to remind the reader to keep the child and our relationship with him or her in prayer. I also appreciated that it was not a one-size-fits-all book. The author repeatedly makes reference to the individuality of our young adults and emphasizes that along with their unique strengths and weaknesses, they will need different things from us.

I think this book is a great resource. Think of it as a Dr. Spock for the young adult years. show less

As a mother of seven children, six of them in their twenties, I was eager to read “Secrets to Parenting Your Adult Child” by Nancy Williams. This short little book was full of practical advice on issues such as boundaries, coaching (vs. taking charge), disappointments, in-laws, grandchildren and managing special challenges. In short, Williams provides a guidebook as our parental role shifts from “leading in front or pushing from behind to walking beside [our children] on their show more journey.” And though her perspective is clearly Christian, this author and counselor remains wise and biblical without becoming overly abstract or judgmental in her guidance.

William excels at providing workable examples in talking to our adult children. She begins her work with a chapter on coaching techniques…helpful knowledge for anyone who wants to be a support to others. She underscores the importance of allowing grown children to mold their own vision. “With God’s guidance,” she writes, “we can communicate our concerns and the wisdom of our experience while also respecting our children’s desire to design their own lives.” The theme of coaching runs throughout the book, with Williams often listing suggestions on how to approach tough subjects.

One of my favorite chapters was “Bring Your Children Before the Lord”. Despite our best parenting methods, life can often be heart-breaking as we watch our children stumble and face hardships. I know first-hand that prayer is often my only option as a mother. And what a blessed option it is! In a particularly eloquent piece, Williams shares, “I’ve heard it said that prayer involves exhaling our spirit and inhaling God’s spirit. As we exhale our praises and our petitions, we can inhale His love and His promises.” Beautiful.

One minor annoyance as I read this book was the constant reference to being the “best” we can be. Or encouraging our kids to give their “best” effort. Or having the “best” relationship we can have. It was too obvious to me. Too trite. Of course, we’re all trying the “best” we can. I was also a bit disappointed to finish the book and realize I hadn’t really picked up any “secrets”. While Williams aptly shows her readers how to navigate the changing landscape as our kids transition into adulthood, I didn’t find any nuggets that couldn’t be found in any other good Christian book on boundaries and healthy relationships.

Wiliiams’s work would be great for someone who is specifically struggling with how to relate to an adult child transitioning into his or her new responsibilities. Each chapter ends with a small section titled “On a Personal Note” containing relevant questions and exercises that help the reader ponder his or her side of the parent/child relationship, making it great for a small group study as well. Overall, “Secrets to Parenting Your Adult Child” is a strong, biblical guide for those of us who are facing the inevitable, and desirable, passing of our children’s youth. show less

i received this book as an early reviewer from author nancy williams. one of the first things that struck me is the statement, "successful parenting means you have helped your children become the persons God wants them to be". to me this is the utmost goal of a Christian parent. yes it is nice if your child is handsome or rich or owns their own business but what good is all that if they have no relationship with the God who created them? in order to accomplish this goal there must be some show more key ingredients such as communication, trust, honesty, openness and prayer. prayer is perhaps more important than any of the others. the author starts right at the beginning with talking about what to expect from being a parent. she talks to her readers in a coaching mentoring style which makes it really easy to take in the information she feeds you even when it is a tough subject or something you don't agree with. she covers all stages and situations that a parent with an adult child might find themselves in including a section of parents of handicap and military children. there is a section also on grandparenting and how to become more involved in the lives of your grandchildren. there are Biblical verses throughout the book that are a real help in that they are something to hold on to. in my oppinion this is an easy book to read full of wisdom and advice. definetly a must have for your library or anyone getting to go through the "empty nest" syndrome. show less