Julie Yip-Williams (1976–2018)

Julie was born blind in Vietnam. Her grandmother conspired to have her put down like a sick puppy, but was thwarted by an herbalist with a conscience. As luck would have it, Julie's family immigrated to the United States where she was able to get a surgery that restored some of her sight. Her entire life she would work hard to prove wrong all the expectations of her family.

Then she got the diagnosis that would throw a wrench into her perfect life. Stage 4 colon cancer, just like what killed show more her grandmother. But Julie is in her late thirties. This book such a touchingly personal memoir of living and dying. The author lays bare her experience and thought process as she plans for her own oncoming demise. She walks us through her pain, grief, rage and eventual acceptance. It was so painful to read, but I feel like I learned so much.

A heartrendingly painful memoir of the process of dying. show less

I have mixed feelings about this book. On one level it's the memoir of a wealthy Chinese-American New York lawyer who is diagnosed with late stage bowel cancer in her late 30s and dies a few years later. She can afford to give herself the best possible chance of survival and, failing that, the best death experience. Not everyone has that luxury available to them. She reveals herself to be a controlling and almost manipulative person, following the example of the women of previous generations show more in her family. On the other hand, I think Yip-Williams has some very honest and useful observations to make about the cancer community and the process of dying - at any age - and I think the book is well worth reading for that alone. As I think more and more about my own death and how I want to live my life between now and then, books such as this one and, better, Helen Garner's 'The Spare Room', and also Atul Gawande's 'Being Mortal', help me to focus on the bigger issues of my own death and the deaths of people I love. show less

A married woman in her thirties, with a couple of young kids learns that she has late stage cancer. In this instance, the patient decided to write her final story. This is easiest one of the bravest, most emotional stories that I've ever read. Sure, I lost my wife to cancer a few months ago, but this story would hit any reader like a ton of bricks.
On a personal level, I was totally drawn into this story because it was so different from my wife's struggle. This is a story of a woman who show more commits to doing everything she can to live as long as possible — for her kids and her husband. Everyone who knew of her struggle, was well aware of the emotional rollercoaster ride that they were on, with all those test results, good number and deadly numbers can be either elating or crushing, and it can all seem so cruel. It seemed that there wasn't a treatment, type of chemo, series of radiation, or any other intrusive method thought up by the scientists of western medicine, that they were always ready for, until the very end. Because my wife chose an entirely non-Big Medicine route for her treatment (use of high levels of CBD and THC, with other alternative medicine, and supplements), reading of this big-money-Big-Medicine seemingly cruel form of treatment makes me so happy that my wife was as far away as possible from all of this.
Everyone make their own choice, for their own (or their family's) reasons. I would recommend anyone close to somebody facing this sort of a medical struggle, to read this book, and think of that simple little phrase — quality of life, when treatment decisions must be made. I'm still in awe of this book. show less

I found the author's willingness to share her innermost thoughts and personal struggles during her cancer journey to be brave and moving. Some may be off-put by Yip-Williams perceived negativity, but having been a caregiver for my mother who had colon cancer, many of her more damning assessments are accurate.

For those who struggle with the "everlasting hope and optimism" model when it comes to those dealing with terminal illness, I think they will find this author's conclusions affirming.