Rhik Samadder

I chose [b:I Never Said I Loved You|45157217|I Never Said I Loved You|Rhik Samadder|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1555458439l/45157217._SY75_.jpg|69847647] from the library shelves as the author's name was familiar - I've enjoyed Samadder's irreverent Guardian columns. Obviously this book was a very different reading experience, as it's a personal memoir of depression. Despite the bleak topic, it is written in an often humorous, or at least sardonic, show more style. I think this worked overall, but might not be to everyone's taste. Some of the flippant jokes feel incongruous, although Samadder wisely keeps them away from discussions of the childhood sexual abuse he suffered. His relationship with his mother is a powerful thread running through the narrative and I found his affectionate descriptions of her moving.

Compared with several anxiety memoirs I've read ([b:Coward: Why We Get Anxious & What We Can Do About It|59134904|Coward Why We Get Anxious & What We Can Do About It|Tim Clare|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1633252547l/59134904._SY75_.jpg|93254465], [b:My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind|17737025|My Age of Anxiety Fear, Hope, Dread, and the Search for Peace of Mind|Scott Stossel|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1367929729l/17737025._SX50_.jpg|24906873], and [b:Anxiety for Beginners: A Personal Investigation|29938403|Anxiety for Beginners A Personal Investigation|Eleanor Morgan|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1465002259l/29938403._SY75_.jpg|50329109]), [b:I Never Said I Loved You|45157217|I Never Said I Loved You|Rhik Samadder|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1555458439l/45157217._SY75_.jpg|69847647] is much less interested in talking about mental illness in the abstract. It is an autobiography, discussing Samadder's particular experience of depression, rather than a meditation on what depression is. He does sensibly acknowledge that medicine doesn't really know that either. I found his account of how trauma and depression shaped his life thoughtful and sometimes disconcertingly frank. It was funny when recounting anecdotes from drama school and his acting career, yet often heart-breaking otherwise. I always feel somewhat voyeuristic when reading such personal dissections of mental illness, trauma, and relationships. Yet I still do so, as I admire the self-awareness and bravery of explaining yourself to the world in an attempt to promote greater understanding. show less

Moving and (obviously) sad.