Sammie Marsalli

3.5 stars

The author wrote a diary as he was caregiver for his wife of 43 years when she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. That diary became this book (it’s more about the length of a novella).

I am rating this good. It is hard to criticize such a personal story like this, but I only rate it as “low” as I am because there was a lot of repetition (like you would find in a diary, really). There were a few spelling and grammatical errors, as well.

But really, it’s a heartwarming story of show more a man’s incredible love for his wife as he tries to stop her mind from shutting down. He talks about all their daily activities and how much he tries to connect with her through these activities and in other ways. Oh, she does not speak.

I have had relatives with Alzheimer’s, but I’ve not been directly involved with them as they went through it, so I’ve not seen it firsthand. I hadn’t realized there were a lot of physical issues that go along with it, in addition to the mental issues. I can’t imagine how difficult this kind of caretaking would be. show less

In Preventing Her Shutdown- Losing My Wife to Alzheimers, Sammie Marsalli narrates a very personal and highly valuable account of his experiences having a spouse with this form of dementia. Whereas I have a number of cases in my extended family, I feel extremely fortunate to have read Marsalli's work. He lays out in detail what might be expected for both victim and spouse in intimate detail.

The author is an American married for four decades to a Chilean wife and living in Santiago. Hence, I show more found it interesting that he shared some sentiments about the inadequacies of psychiatric care as I have concerning treatment in the United States:

"The doctor is really no help at all recommending therapists not really qualified or able to deal with my wife's problems such as not speaking or unable to swallow. Wooo..where am I going on this? I couldn't get any answers or direction to guide me and I really felt blind in "no man's land". After the visit to the doctor, I felt more lost and desperate than ever before. When I started to ask questions about where we were in this disease, what to expect, the only thing he said was “she is in the advanced stage” That's
all he said and gave me a recommendation of a therapist, surely knowing there isn't any professional therapy that can help at this stage."

He makes a helpful point that I will bear in mind and that is to find other people going through similar trials. Caregivers in online and in-person support groups educate and empathize. The [Chilean] Alzheimer's Association helped him greatly. He finds these various groups useful to alleviating some depression. “Loneliness is the caregiver's worst enemy,” he explains.

With respect to interacting directly with a patient, Marsalli emphasizes the value of family members maintaining direct contact with a sufferer. He points out that even if his wife cannot dialogue, she recognizes others in their voice and appearance for her to value the interactions. Numerous such acquired points of wisdom permeate the book. For some people, Chapter 16 may be the most valuable for it is there that he lists a number of do's and don't's pertinent to socializing with his wife. Chapter 31 is similarly a must read for its very important psychological savy. In other chapters, he provides a window into what a caregiver might expect. His warnings are clear, important, and concise, ranging from keeping hazardous materials locked up to vigilantly making physical contact and loving proximity a central part of the day.

Although the book is short, a reader might wish to read it in small doses. The author's style is simply so intense and hard-hitting. Nevertheless, I am very glad to have read it and expect that it will help me with my own family's future. show less

No one is prepared for Alzheimer’s.

There is no manual. No clear guidance. And when critical moments happen, there is no one there to tell you what to do.

“Preventing Her Shutdown” is a deeply personal account of a husband caring for his wife as Alzheimer’s progresses to the point where she can no longer speak. Faced with unpredictable behavioral changes and no real-time support, he is forced to rely on instinct, love, and constant adaptation.

What do you do when the person you love show more cannot communicate?
How do you keep them connected?
How do you prevent that “blank look” that feels like losing them in front of your eyes?

In response, he begins to create his own methods—small actions, improvised therapies, and moments of interaction developed in real time. There is no fixed approach, because no two journeys are the same. What works one day may not work the next.

This book offers an honest look into the daily reality of Alzheimer’s home care without outside help—the uncertainty, the emotional strain, and the relentless effort to maintain connection.

It is not written as a clinical guide, but as a lived experience.

If you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, you may recognize these moments. And if nothing else, you may find reassurance that you are not alone. show less

No one is prepared for Alzheimer’s.

There is no manual. No clear guidance. And when critical moments happen, there is no one there to tell you what to do.

“Preventing Her Shutdown” is a deeply personal account of a husband caring for his wife as Alzheimer’s progresses to the point where she can no longer speak. Faced with unpredictable behavioral changes and no real-time support, he is forced to rely on instinct, love, and constant adaptation.

What do you do when the person you love show more cannot communicate?
How do you keep them connected?
How do you prevent that “blank look” that feels like losing them in front of your eyes?

In response, he begins to create his own methods—small actions, improvised therapies, and moments of interaction developed in real time. There is no fixed approach, because no two journeys are the same. What works one day may not work the next.

This book offers an honest look into the daily reality of Alzheimer’s home care without outside help—the uncertainty, the emotional strain, and the relentless effort to maintain connection.

It is not written as a clinical guide, but as a lived experience.

If you are caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, you may recognize these moments. And if nothing else, you may find reassurance that you are not alone. show less