Phoebe Damrosch

Summary: Phoebe Damrosch worked as a waiter to support herself, until she realized that she wasn't there until she could find something better, she was there because she loved the food and the restaurant life. Before long, she was working as a waiter in Thomas Keller's new four-star NYC restaurant, Per Se. Damrosch provides readers with a look behind the scenes of fine dining, how restaurants prepare for opening, and for the visit of important critics, and provides tips for diners. She also show more talks about her love affair with good food, her love affair with the restaurant, and her love affair with a sommelier from her restaurant.

Review: Kitchen Confidential was the book that convinced me that I didn't hate memoirs, so I picked up this book looking for more of the same: a behind-the-scenes look at what's really going on when I dine out, only from a front-of-the-house perspective instead of from a chef's perspective. And, I'm pleased to say, that's mostly what I got! Damrosch's writing is easily accessible, and while she doesn't quite have Bourdain's level of snark, the book is still quite funny, and generally fun to read.

The parts that I thought were most successful were - no surprises here - the parts in which Damrosch is dishing about what really goes on in restaurants that diners either don't see, or don't recognize. Reading about the involved preparation that went into opening Per Se, the whole section on preparing for and serving a visiting restaurant critic, the occasional bits about what's really going on during waiters' minds during service, and what's going on before the diners get there and after they go home, all of these were the parts of the book that I found the most interesting. Of course, the foodie in me also loved the description of the Per Se menu, and the discussion of the thought that went into its ingredients and its dishes. Given that even the most modest Per Se meal is probably beyond my price range at the moment, I definitely enjoyed Damrosch's ability in bringing the dining experience there to life (although I must admit it was enjoyment mixed with a twinge or two of jealousy). I was less interested in the sections of the book involving Damrosch's personal life. They weren't bad, or poorly written, or even particularly intrusive or anything; they just weren't why I was there. But the book as a whole is light and enjoyable and quick-moving enough that by the time I would start thinking "yeah, yeah, get back to the restaurant," she would. 4 out of 5 stars.

Recommendation: Fans of Kitchen Confidential and similar books are the most obvious recommendation, but I think anyone who likes to read about food and/or enjoys day-in-the-life style memoirs should have a good time with this one. show less

I am a sucker for books like this, that offer a peek behind the curtain. I've read a few of them, and this one is pretty good. The writer offers fairly frank details about her life and her own failings, but also manages to seem like a bit of a food snob, knowing and enjoying luxury items like truffles and bone marrow, taking her own maple syrup to the diner (and not ordering pancakes unless she has her own syrup to eat on them). She aspires to be a writer, but doesn't seem to have anything show more to write about except her career as a waiter in a fancy restaurant. She has an affair with a co-worker which seems on the verge of epic failure pretty much the whole time, until all of a sudden it's the perfect relationship. All of these things would seem to be negatives, and you're thinking, "why did she give this book 4 stars, when she apparently didn't like it?" Well, it satisfied my voyeuristic tendencies, since I've never worked in a restaurant, never mind an upscale one like Per Se, the one she writes about, and in fact I've never even eaten in a restaurant like that -- I just don't have the interest in sitting down for that long, eating bite after bite, and slapping down four figures at the end of the meal. I don't aspire to that kind of luxury, but I'm fascinated by it. I put this one with good travel memoirs of places I never really want to go, but enjoy knowing about. show less

Its a strange concept, to go to a restaurant and be told that the menu prices cover the cost of the seat, the clean napery, the cover and the food, but you must pay up to 20% more for the food to be served and the dirty plates removed.

This rests on the fake construct that if you really enjoyed your meal it was down to the wait staff and you should voluntarily pay for that. Fake because if they do the job they are employed for quietly and efficiently you will enjoy the meal, they don't show more really add to it, but they sure can ruin it without hardly trying at all.

So what are we expected to pay for then? Outside of their job description what else is it they contribute? Friendliness, and sometimes in an effort to get a bigger tip, an annoying over-helpfulness - filling your water glass when you've just taken a sip, hovering at your elbow so your private conversation is inhibited. But the friendliness is as fake as the concept of the serving staff contributed to you enjoying your meal.

You want to see friendly? Pay a 20% tip (and if your credit card slip comes with service charge added, you will note there is a blank space for you to add an extra contribution as well, fill it in) and next time you go, your name will be remembered and you will be treated as an honoured guest. Leave less than 10% and you risk having your wait staff turn ugly and tell you what they think of you in sarcastic terms. Leave nothing and feel the blast....

This book, exposes the fakery of their affection for customers, their greed, and often bad relations among the other staff based on whose in the money position. Its thoroughly enjoyable.

I was taught, out of my awkward not-very-tip-friendly UK way to serve like an American by a very cheerful girl who enumerated the many ways to milk a customer of a good tip. It was useful information, but when I became the restaurant manager, I found it wasn't particularly correct. A pretty girl, looking sexy, gets better tips than the most competent and friendly male waiters. Boobs, hair and a trout pout wins every time.

Much later, I was a bar owner and decided to try something different. I paid incremently increasing commission on sales and required my bar staff , male and female, to be genuinely friendly to customers (easy on a small island), whether or not someone tipped. Inside and outside the bar. And guess what, both sales and tips soared. I had people on a waiting list for jobs, people-sharing jobs and the best of those bar staff, ten years on, are still my friends, my closest friends.

I'd still be in the bar business, making good money, rather than the bookselling one which doesn't pay, but I lost the bar to drugs. The landlord of the premises was involved in a rather big international operation. But that's another story. Involved a lot more money than tips as well.

2 May 2011 show less

Phoebe Damrosch was a waiter and then a captain at the Per Se restaurant in New York City for several years. Having been hired before the restaurant was built she gives great background on exactly what it takes to open, staff and run such an exclusive eatery. To me it is staggering the amount of silverware, stemware, bowls, plates, not to mention wines that are part of a 4-star restaurants meal. What I learned from this book is that I will never be the type of person who will frequent a show more place like Per Se. The prices alone would keep me away (seriously? items that cost hundreds of dollars?) but the food itself does not tempt me in the slightest. I can't imagine sitting down to a nice plate of bone marrow on toast points, or thyme ice cream with salt and hot Provencal olive oil. Huh? Damrosch has a great sense of humor and a great style of writing so I thoroughly enjoyed the book. show less