Nikki Null

I am one of the judges of team Space Girls for the SPSFC5 contest. This review is my personal opinion. Officially, it is still in the running for the contest, pending any official team announcements.

Status: Yes
Read: 29%

First thing, I LOVED the disclaimer in the first page of the book, just won't spoil the fun. I'll let readers check the sample and consider if the book is their cup of tea.

Despite being a LGBT focused book, I also felt it serves as a social criticism of the root causes of the show more male loneliness epidemic. While our protagonist Ren is at first sight a 'straight male normie', he questions his role in a society that shuns emotional closeness with positive role models. We get snippets his family life was always subpar. His father was likely abusive and maybe even a deadbeat that scampered off. Ren's older brother was more likely going to punch him in the face for even thinking about questionable topics. Being socially awkward, unable to look at people in the eye, hyperfixiations with obscure technology and occasional 'dissociation episodes' might hint he is an undiagnosed neurodiverse individual.

As expected, he was unable to form stable friendships growing up. Bullied and isolated, he tried 'fitting in' with the frat bros... until... the bros start saying triggering things. Even if the comments were juvenile without true ill intent, Ren's difficulty reading the signs that are so obvious to everyone else makes him hyperdefensive, and maybe even paranoid. He loves the technology aspects of 'tech bro' culture, but hates all of the negative 'good ol boys club' behavior of the bros.

Despite Ren's dislike of the unsavory frat boy behavior, that doesn't make him a saint. He admits he hates himself because of prior mistakes coming too strong when women were only being 'Midwest Nice'. While he attempted therapy, he continues acting like a hormonal teenager suffering from 'Puppy Instalove Syndrome'. And the book takes a good series of jabs aiming at his gut for screwing things up.

Which brings the book to square one: Ren wants to do something borderline irrational and definitely illegal to see why he feels miserable. Thinking the mysterious woman he just met might be the magical cure to his issues, the book cleverly dips us into two POVs telling the story to the best the narrator's unreliability allows, and lets the reader piece things together.

To me, Our Simulated Selves feels like a closeted queer version of 500 Days of Summer meets soft corporate crime thriller. The book is bold, spares no expenses hitting those boxing jabs and equally entertains. We are flouted with the (delusional) possibility Ren might have a chance for his instalove Happy Ending. All the meanwhile, the female platonic coprotagonist seems more like Ren's idealized version of himself. She exuberates all of his wishes and none of his defects. And chances are, she might not even be a real person.

If readers enjoyed this book as much as I have so far, they should check out 'Brown Sugar Divine’s Cafe & Bakery' by S.A. McClellon. Both feature a male protagonist that doesn't feel represented by the queer community's most visible stereotypes. All the while he feels accepted by a group of friendly queer characters that pits him against the close mindedness of his community.

Anyhow, I finished the sample right when the first phase of the book ended, which was most certainly a great pausing point. The story is full in motion, we know Ren is going to continue making bigger mistakes, and some of my early theories might prove true. It's a great read and I am voting yes for it to continue in the competition. show less