Francine Pascal (1932–2024)

You know, credit where credit is due - this wasn't a terrible book. It was actually a fairly decent finale to this whole twisted tale.

We start with a fairly comprehensive recount of this entire saga, I suppose for those people who are reading the Thrillers only. Somehow Jessica makes it through the entire recap and manages to convince herself that she's not seeing her beloved fiance picking up the blackmail money from that phone booth, even though he's wearing the ring that she gave him. She show more can't see what a scuzzbucket he is, so we do have to deal with Jessica being an idiot over him for the first third of the book.

Two things finally break this business wide open: SVH's answer to LexisNexis, newly installed on the Oracle computers, where Liz can do her sleuthing with cutting-edge technology; and Sue's conscience finally getting the better of her. It takes awhile for this latter bit to happen; not until Sue is confronted with Jeremy's lone plane ticket to the South Pacific does it finally sink in that he is 100% after her money only, and he's more than happy to leave her in the process.

Jeremy shows back up to ingratiate himself with the family because he's discovered that the ransom money is fake (even though he was none the wiser when he counted it so laboriously in the previous book), and its his showing up that causes Jessica's brain to rot after the original recap. He continues to see both Jessica and Sue, promising each girl that she is his One & Only. He is such a slimeball that it's patently obvious WHY he's chosen to being a pedo-grooming asshole: because women his own age wouldn't put up with this nonsense. It's extra disgusting here because he starts pressuring Jessica to have sex with him. SO MUCH ICK.

But honestly? These scenes were also unintentionally hilarious because Jessica makes a ~big deal~ about potentially handing in her v-card, including going to the lingerie store at the mall with Lila to pick out the right outfit for the big night. Of course, this being SVH, the word S-E-X is completely verboten; instead, these girls talk euphemistic circles around each other in ways that no teenagers would ever actually talk, especially two experienced girls like Jessica and Lila. I'm pretty sure Jessica has had some hot and heavy relationships, including Tragically Dead Sam, so you know these girls know about all the precautions and whatnot. There's a practical view as well as the romantic one, but this era of YA just does not acknowledge this at all. Rape is easier to talk about than consensual sex, which tells you all you need to know about this era of writing.

ANYWAY, while Jess and Lila are giggling about the Big Night in one dressing room, Sue is conveniently in the next one listening to them. She realizes that far from Jeremy dropping Jessica, he's fully intending to continue taking advantage of her. By page 84, Sue is spilling her guts in a last-ditch effort to keep Jessica from making a huge mistake. This was a fairly well-written scene, although it brings in yet MORE retconning, making it seem as if Jeremy's hand has been guiding fate since the beginning of this series (which seems pretty unlikely), but Sue is able to convince Jessica that Jeremy is still seeing Sue as well. Jessica finally seems to realize what an idiot she's been, and after spending a bit of time uncharacteristically bashing herself, she decides that she's ready to get even with her two-timing sleazeball "fiance."

Meanwhile, Liz is trying to dig up the dirt on Jeremy, but what she finds is...nothing. Sue scoops up some wedding announcement he foolishly carries with him, about a young socialite couple from Atlanta. The dude's name is Matt Thorn but the picture is of the man they all know as Jeremy. Once they pool this information, and realize the Matt Thorn identity is just as thin as the Jeremy Randall one, our plucky trio realize that they are all in this way too deep. Jessica has the gall to call up Matt's scorned wife, impersonating a local police officer on the phone, and gets the scoop. Apparently Jeremy has done this business before, marrying stupid, rich girls and absconding with their money.

The girls decide to trap Jeremy once and for all, and they decide to do it on their own, which is dumb. Not without reason, though, as the police are dismissive when the twins first take their story about Jeremy being the kidnapper to them, because Steven taped over the kidnapping video with the telltale pinky ring. But for them to not tell their parents, and only loop in Sam Diamond at the last minute, was incredibly stupid. Master Detective Diamond has apparently only just reached the same conclusion as Sue, Liz, and Jess, with none of the info that the teenagers had. I certainly would not be trusting this woman with my life and safety!

So they decide that Jessia will lure Jeremy to the Project Nature cabin, Sam will follow with a carload of teenagers, and the police will follow her, and somehow they will confront Jeremy. This plan goes sideways from the start: Jessica makes the supremely unwise decision to tell Jeremy that she knows he is scamming them all, but that she doesn't care and wants to run away with him anyway. The lure of Wakefield twin v-card must be damn strong, because Jeremy takes the bait. Unfortunately, the night they are to run away together is the night of a terrible thunderstorm, so OF COURSE Sam and the teens in her car crash during the wild chase to the cabin, and OF COURSE Jessica realizes this too late, and OF COURSE Jeremy is a hard-hearted asshole who leaves Jessica behind to die in a fire, as depicted on the stepback. He's mostly proud of himself for running his scam without actually killing anybody, and he figures he'll get away with this, too - and he almost does. Sam, Liz, Sue, and Todd arrive as Jeremy is leaving, and Liz and Sue rush into the burning building to save Jessica. This was a hectic, climactic scene that was really nicely done.

It's not until they are all at the hospital that Liz confesses the whole scheme to her parents who are bewildered but not upset, even going so far as to bring Sue back into their fold, knowing all of the terrible things she's done to them. The group gets the good news that Jeremy wrecked his car not far from the cabin, was picked up injured by alive by state troopers, and will presumably be brought to justice with a little help from Sue.

The ending of the main plot is ridiculous, honestly, and very abrupt. Jessica is ready to jump out of the hospital bed, where she's being treated for smoke inhalation and burns, so that she can get to the Mistletoe Madness dance at school!

There are two subplots that are also woven into the story. Lila is convinced that Robby will never have his paintings ready by the time of his gallery showing, so she decides that she's going to throw some paint on canvas and display her work under his name, because obviously nothing can go wrong! She is mortified when everyone hates her work, and even Robby is giving her the stinkeye when he arrives and sees what she's done. There was so much secondhand embarrassment to be had here. For all the brains Lila had in the last book, there are none on display here. Robby is kind enough to forgive her, and his real work is hung in the gallery and he is celebrated as a hot new talent. He also wants to go to the Mistletoe Madness dance at SVH, lucky Lila!

The other subplot is that Ken Matthews has developed a crush on Jessica and starts showing it in very age-appropriate, rather adorable ways. The contrast of Ken's wooing to Jeremy's jaded attitude really brings some home truths to Jessica and she realizes that she's not ready for anything she thinks she is. Ken is definitely more her speed than Jeremy, and there are some really cute scenes between the two here. I was wondering how Jess was going to go from this engagement disaster to her second-best boyfriend in the series, and apparently it all starts here. Aww ♥

NGL, the budding romance between Jessica and Ken definitely helps the rating of this book; I think it's a solid three stars, considering the way the plot basically backed everyone into a corner. I think the ghostie was one of the experienced hands who wrote previous Thriller books, and it certainly shows here. This was not a bad way to end the nostalgia re-readathon for this year, and I might just have to revisit some of these Ken/Jess scenes when I get nostalgic for their relationship. show less

Much to Jessica's dislike, Steven and Tricia are still happily in love... or are they?

The truth is, Tricia's been cancelling dates and refusing to take Steven's calls. He's completely devastated—especially when rumours start going around about Tricia dating other men. Eventually he confronts her and accuses her of heading off on a dirty weekend with a new beau (remember, guys, Tricia's still in high school) and they break up. But we soon discover that Tricia's not cheating at all but show more instead harbouring a Very Big Secret. She's dying of leukaemia, and wants to spare Steve the misery of watching her fade away. Because thinking your first love is cheating on you and then later finding out she's dead is obviously a bed of roses.

Meanwhile, Jess has heard that one of her favourite celebrities is currently stuck in Fowler Memorial Hospital with a broken leg, so she persuades Liz to join her as a candy striper so she can meet him and he can fall madly in love with her jailbait self. Liz somehow doesn't see right through Jess's claim that she wants to give back to the community, despite knowing her scheming twin for over sixteen years. It soon becomes obvious what Jess is really after, though, when she starts harassing the poor man every chance she gets.

Cara's always been hot for Steve, so with Tricia out of the way, Jess decides to throw her bestie and her brother together. Initially, Steve stays true to the memory of his ex, but before long he's snogging Cara and taking her to college parties, despite still thinking she's shallow and annoying. As you can see, using people runs in the Wakefield family.

Liz finds out Tricia's secret when she runs into her at the hospital, but Tricia makes Liz promise not to tell anyone. Here's one of the few times where the Sweet Valley books actually teach their junior readers a valid lesson, because it's made very obvious that some promises are damaging and shouldn't be kept. Liz angsts about it for a few chapters, pausing occasionally to scheme with Jeremy Frank about frightening Jessica into getting over him by proposing.

She says yes, but it's a very short-lived engagement.

Eventually Liz decides to tell Steven the truth about Tricia's strange behaviour and the two crazy kids are reunited, pausing only for Steven to thoroughly criticise Cara, never once thinking that perhaps his own rebound behaviour could be called into question.

Everything ends happily! Except for Cara, who's been dumped by the guy she's been crushing on forever. And for Tricia, who's still dying. Oh, and for Elizabeth, who's just been kidnapped by Creepy Carl the hospital orderly she was stupid enough to be nice to once.

Cliffhanger time!

This is one of the best early books in the series. There's a light-hearted Jessica plot to counter all the doom and gloom of Steven and Tricia's star-crossed love, and Cara gets to have her first featured role. As is often the case in Sweet Valley, everything could have been sorted out in a tenth of the time if people actually communicated honestly with each other... but where would be the story in that?

Moral of the Story? Don't accuse your girlfriend of cheating. She could just be dying and then how would you feel?

[re-read - previously read around 3 times] show less

When I was younger, I used to wonder what it would be like if Francine Pascal actually wrote one of the Sweet Valley books. I imagined that somehow it would be better than the rest of the series, despite the fact that I never did read any of her other books. (Fearless doesn't count.)

Wow. Was that dream crushed. Sweet Valley Confidential is awful. It's not even guilty-pleasure like the rest of the Sweet Valley books are, it's just simply awful. The writing is stilted, the characters are show more barely recognizable, and continuity is a joke. The last is the least of your worries, by the way, but it might just be the final straw when reading SVC.

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The first chapter was released months ago. A large number of fans, myself included, recoiled at the TMI going on with Elizabeth's sexual history. Still, nothing prepared me for the awkwardness of Jessica's chapters (how do you mess up the Valley girl "like"? Also, while people use "like" entirely too much, do they still use it in the way FP seems to think they do?) or the complete disregard for established canon.

I expected Todd Wilkins to have a bit of a history re-tweak, since he was originally the new boy in school at the start of SVH, but all the prequel books (Sweet Valley Twins and Kids) roped him into their cast of characters. So Elizabeth being in love with him since kindergarten? Yeah, doesn't bother me. But there are so many other needless changes that eventually I think I gave up mentally keeping tally.

Richard Fowler? Yeah, no. His name is George. Mr. Collins has a son, but his name is Teddy, not Sam. AJ Morgan was probably the sweetest guy in SVH, and probably one of the only sane redheads in the entirety of the SV universe. Now he's a bad boy who apparently felt Jessica up back in seventh grade, despite being a new student in SVH? No. Aaron Dallas was Jessica's first serious boyfriend. She spent most of the Sweet Valley Twins series dating him when she wasn't busy trying to impress Bruce Patman. She spends a good chunk of SVH dating him any time they aren't linked to someone else, but suddenly they can't stand one another and never could? BS.

The storyline is pretty basic. Elizabeth runs away to New York when she finds out that Todd and Jessica have been having an affair. She vows never to speak to them again, and the book opens with Jessica calling her twin and Liz avoiding the call. As the book unfolds you find out when Jessica and Todd fell for one another, how Elizabeth found out, and how time has ruined just about every character in the series.

This is the biggest problem for the book. Iffy writing has plagued more than one SV book, but it's the jarring disconnect with the characters I don't understand. Everyone is miserable. EVERYONE. None of these people seem to like one another. The amount of lying and backstabbing and general cattiness is just off the charts. I get that the person you are at sixteen is not the person you are at twenty-seven, but I would imagine that part of the allure of this book was to reignite the love a lot of people had for the series back in the day. The love? Is lacking.

Winston Egbert was usually the lovably goofy (or at least you knew he was supposed to be) class clown. Despite being repeatedly turned down by Jessica, he snagged a serious (and seriously gorgeous) girlfriend in both SVH and SVU, so it makes absolutely no sense that when he makes a fortune he would suddenly become a jerk towards women. Years of being rejected? Yeah. Until he was sixteen for twenty years and during those years spent most of them hooked up with Maria Santelli or Denise in the SVU books. Both relationships were solid and never came across as pity dates, so what the hell, Pascal?

Each relationship seems to be marred by cheating scandals, which I suppose is actually the most Sweet Valley thing about the book, but it makes for painful reading when it's all crammed into one book. Steven Wakefield has cheated so much that his wife, Cara, has managed to perfect the art of baking complicated goodies to occupy her time while he's out fooling around. Really? Steven was the one Wakefield who actually seemed fairly faithful so long as one of Tricia's doppelgangers hadn't dropped by the Valley for a visit. Yet everyone just accepts that he's turned into a cheating bastard.

Of course, then there's the big reveal that at least recently he's been cheating on Cara, not with Lila Fowler, but with Aaron Dallas. There's a bit of a history re-write to justify it, but oddly enough the one standout instance that could have been used from the SV universe as an example of Steve's possible attraction to guys isn't brought up. (Re-read the first few SVU books and notice how insane Steve acts about Mike. There's brotherly concern and then there's Steve in these books.) Not even a throwaway gag about his longtime girlfriend's name being Billie. She's never mentioned at all, despite other aspects of SVU coming into play. (Mike is mentioned, the inferior Sam, Neil, and almost the entirety of Todd's sophomore year arc.)

Ultimately the book is just painful to read. It literally gave me a headache each time I picked it up to read. The epilogue somehow manages to break whatever pieces of your brain might have survived the previous chapters. Unless your ultimate pairings include Todd/Jessica or Liz/Bruce Patman, or you want to hear entirely too much about Caroline Pearce, I'd advise you to stay far, far away.

It's worse than you could imagine. That said, there's a moment when Alice Wakefield finally blows her top and it is absolutely priceless. show less

Hoo boy! did teenage me have some bad taste in books.

I saw this yesterday in a Free Little Library and couldn't resist finding out how it would read now.

It's pretty awful; what was teenage me thinking?? The characters were so cardboard: Jessica is the vain, selfish, shallow, 'evil' twin; Elizabeth is everything good and shiny. Jessica steals Liz's love interest and Liz is all brave and noble. Liz's love interest is an absolute jackass of an 80's teen with a 50's mentality. And I don't show more even know what the hell was supposed to be going on with their parents...

Dumb book. I'd probably be less harsh with it if I didn't know there were authors out there like Blume who were doing exponentially better books for teens long before this was written, but thankfully there were, and thankfully I read them. show less