Ellen Meister

Movie critic Violet Epps is bold in print, but she has such a hard time speaking up in person that she’s at risk of gaining a roommate she doesn’t want (a boyfriend she’s trying to break up with) and losing the custody battle for her beloved niece. It seems like a godsend when the free-spirited, tart-tongued ghost of Dorothy Parker is released from a guestbook at the Algonquin Hotel because she starts giving Violet bold advice on how to manage her life, but things quickly get out of show more control.

I was completely caught up in the (mis)adventures of Violet, a thoughtful soul who badly wants to do the right thing for her niece, and while the Dorothy Parker in this book may not ring completely true for some readers, the story is so engaging I didn’t care. Though I knew generally the direction the plot would go in, I did not anticipate its every twist and turn, and the predicaments Violet got in kept me up way later than I should have been, unable to close the book for the night.

Farewell Dorothy Parker reminds me of Elinor Lipman’s novels, so it seemed fitting when I saw that Ms. Lipman had written an enthusiastic blurb for the back cover. According to Ellen Meister in the Author’s Note, she wrote the story she most wanted to read--one with Dorothy Parker as a character--and though full of witty repartee the book does have the warm quality of something written with love. Even the adversaries in the plot are treated with some sympathy and understanding. show less

Author Ellen Meister set out to wanted to write a book about "a happily married woman who wants to kill her husband" and was assured by her agent that it would be "relatable to nearly anyone who lived through the pandemic in close quarters with a significant other." Indeed, it is. For decades to come, sociologists will be studying the various ways in which COVID-19 lockdowns impacted individuals and families. Some couples, accustomed to spending most of their waking hours apart, found, when show more forced to remain at home together for days and days, that they were fundamentally incompatible. Others discovered they no longer had shared goals or dreams. Meister spent the lockdown with her husband and their three twenty-something children who were suddenly home all the time and by writing the book, she "worked out some demons!"

There is no mention of the pandemic in Take My Husband. Rather, fifty-two-year-old Laurel Applebaum is working at the local Trader's Joe because two years ago the toy and novelty store that her husband, Doug, took over from his father, failed. Since then, Doug has been unemployed, insisting that he can only accept a management position, in part because his bad back precludes him from working, as Laurel does, as a cashier or salesperson. He took out a second mortgage on their home in an effort to save the failing business and, since Laurel's income is insufficient to pay all of their bills, they are gradually draining their savings each month in order to make ends meet. Even so, Doug is not motivated to engage in a focused job search. And, understandably, Laurel resents it.

Doug does have health problems, including hypertension, diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity. He also suffers from learned helplessness and complete dependence upon Laurel who, throughout their nearly thirty-year marriage, has babied and doted on him. Every morning, she retrieves the daily newspaper from the front porch and prepares Doug's breakfast before leaving for work. Doug lends no assistance with housekeeping or meal preparation, often calling or texting Laurel during the day requesting that she bring home his favorite junk foods. Laurel indulges him. She ensures that he remembers his medical appointments and even sorts all of his medications and supplements into the daily compartments of a weekly pill dispenser so that Doug can plop them into his mouth without even looking at them, much less taking any responsibility for his own well-being. Although they share a bed, they have not had an intimate relationship for several years. Laurel is an attractive woman, carrying just a few extra pounds, but she has ceased taking care of herself, deeming trips to the salon to camouflage the grey that now streaks her hair too expensive.

Their adult son, Evan, and his wife, Samara, are expecting their first child and there is nothing in the world Laurel wants more than to be present for the birth of her first grandchild. Samara is having a difficult pregnancy and may require a Caesarian section, so Laurel wants to spend time with them in their Los Angeles home, helping the new parents and getting to know her grandchild. Doug steadfastly insists they cannot afford to charge the cost of the flight on their credit card.

Laurel also cares for her mother, Joan, who suffers from anxiety and agoraphobia. Since Joan's marriage to Laurel's father dissolved in the 1980’s, she has been obsessed with collecting dolls. Her home is filled with them and she continues acquiring more. She only feels safe at home where she is surrounded by those midcentury, molded plastic figures, and depends on Laurel to deliver her groceries each week. Laurel longs to coax her mother out of the house for a nice lunch.

Laurel is frustrated, depressed, and inwardly seething about her circumstances, but she does not share her feelings with Doug or voice her own needs. Instead, she capitulates to his demands. Her best friend, Monica, has repeatedly encouraged her to "speak up," unable to appreciate why Laurel finds it so hard to do so. She once harshly called Laurel a cipher -- "one having no influence or value; a nonentity." But Laurel knows Monica is right.

And then with one phone call, something inside Laurel snaps. She is informed that Doug has been in a motor vehicle accident, but is provided no details about his condition. She immediately thinks the worst has happened and instantly blames herself for not realizing sooner how much she really loves her husband. En route to the hospital, she convinces herself that Doug is most certainly dead. And remembers that his life insurance policy has a value of $850,000 -- more than enough to solve all of their financial problems and permit her to buy a home of her own and decorate it in colors she loves. Without having to worry about Doug’s allergy, she can finally adopt the dog she has always wanted, quit her job at Trader Joe's, spend more time with her mother, go to Los Angeles for the birth of her grandchild and, most importantly, be free from all of the duties, obligations, and resentments that have weighed her down for too long. Laurel convinces herself that Doug's tragic death is the perfect solution to all of her problems.

But Laurel is disappointed when she arrives at the hospital to find Doug has a bruised forehead and minor concussion from which he will quickly recover. Still, the dream of transforming her life does not dissipate, especially when she is spurred on by her friend and coworker, Charlie Webb, a widower in his seventies who regales her with ridiculous knock-knock jokes. He correctly guesses that Laurel was dismayed to find Charlie did not perish in the accident, and assures her that she is definitely not a terrible person. She is, rather, “an unhappy person” who does not "have to take such good care of" Doug. He insists it is time for her to "stop martyring yourself. Doug is a grown man. If he values his life, let him take some responsibility for it. And if not, well . . . you'll get the freedom you've earned."

Laurel and Charlie begin conspiring to bring about Doug's death, considering various modalities including withholding his high blood pressure medication, plying him with all of the unhealthy foods he craves, and even releasing mice in the basement of their home so that Doug with contract the incurable hantavirus if she can convince him to clean out the space. Laurel even lets Doug believe she is in love with another man to spur his irrational jealousy and feelings of rejection and drive him to take his own life. They scuttle that plan when Charlie convinces Laurel that life insurance policies contain an exclusion for suicide which will prevent her from collecting the proceeds.

Laurel is a sympathetic character. She assumed a defined role within her marriage nearly three decades ago, and was content when Doug was a successful business owner and she worked part-time at the family store while raising Evan. But, as so often happens, when the couple’s life style changed as a result of financial and other stressors, Laurel’s increasing discontent with her marriage grew exponentially. Now it has reached the breaking point that launched her into fantasizing about extricating herself . . . by eliminating Doug from her life. Laurel is absolutely convinced that Doug is devoted to her and would never be unfaithful, much less leave her. And that is a big part of the problem. Lacking the power to voice her concerns, and advocate for her own happiness and desires, she has established a pattern of swallowing her feelings. Now they are manifesting in the form of perverse, dangerous, but hilariously outlandish schemes.

Could she actually bring about Doug's death? Although she is fifty-two years old, Laurel is, in some respects, naive and trusting, except when it comes to Doug's overbearing, meddling, and overly protective sister, Abby. She tells herself repeatedly that she lacks the capacity to be a murderer, yet she goes along with Charlie's suggestions, confiding in him and leaning on him for unconditional support and assistance. Both Monica and her mother warn her that Charlie's feelings for her go beyond friendship and camaraderie. But Laurel sees him only as a lonely older widower with a big heart. Who is right?

Meister wisely recognized that story would not work unless her readers failed to “relate to Laurel and understand exactly why she snapped.” And to understand the depth of and reasons for Laurel’s distress, readers must get to know Doug. He is spoiled, self-centered, and unfocused. But he is very much the “monster” that Laurel, and his sister, Abby, created. Meister cleverly portrays him as a man who has arrived at a juncture in his life he never anticipated and for which he is unprepared. As the story progresses, it becomes clear that he is also unhappy and depressed, for reasons that mostly differ from Laurel’s. And he lacks the skills requisite to managing his own life, in part because he has never had to do so. He has been cajoled and placated so long he does not know how to fight for what he really wants. But he plainly loves Laurel – in his own way – and his fear of losing her is actually one of the things that both attracts and repels her, trapping them in a dance of codependence that many readers will recognize.

Ironically, the various means Laurel employs to resolve her problems have unintended results. And that’s the real strength of Meister’s surprising and surprisingly moving tale. For all of their faults, readers will find themselves cheering for both Laurel and Doug, hoping they can find happiness – together or apart – and extricate themselves from the emotional tug-of-war in which they are enmeshed. Neither of them is a villain. Rather, they are simply flawed human beings and Laurel’s outrageous scheming is an attempt to escape from pain – much of which is self-inflicted due to a lack of confidence and self-worth – that has become utterly unbearable.

Take My Husband succeeds because it is engrossing and entertaining. The story is punctuated by extremely dark, gallows humor and crisp, witty dialogue, as well as a cast of eccentric supporting characters that includes Joan, Monica, and Eleanor and Bob, about whom the less revealed the better. Charlie injects a dash of mystery and intrigue as Meister deftly brings his motives into question, and Luke is the sweet customer with whom Laurel shares a flirtation that helps bring her back to a much-improved version of her real self.

Take My Husband is also a slyly thought-provoking meditation on marriage, expectations, and complacency. And the importance of communication in any relationship, but especially an intimate partnership. Meister hopes that readers appreciate, by getting to know Laurel and Doug, and examining their relationship, how important it is to, as Monica urges Laurel, "speak up." “Your needs and desires are just as important as your partner’s,” Meister observes. “A good relationship cannot be based on the subjugation of one person’s needs for another’s.” If Laurel and Doug can figure that out, will they live happily ever after? Reading Take My Husband to find out is a delightful and emotionally satisfying experience.

Thanks to NetGalley for an Advance Reader's Copy of the book. show less

The Short of It:

This book had me squirming in my seat. It asks the “tough” questions. The ones that we don’t like to ask ourselves unless we have to.

The Rest of It:

Quinn Braverman is happily married to Lewis. She has one son and is expecting a baby. This should be a joyous time for them all, but Quinn struggles with what she’s been given. Her life seems “safe” and at times, a bit mundane. When she discovers a problem with the pregnancy, she is forced to consider her options. show more Most of us, when faced with a grave decision, make the decision based on any number of things. We look for support in those close to us. We seek guidance from professionals, etc. But Quinn? Quinn’s a bit different because she can actually escape her current life, to visit her “other” life, where she is dating Eugene and doesn’t have to face any tough decisions. Through a portal in her basement, she attempts to live both lives.

As much as I enjoy portals and the idea of parallel universes, I struggled with the premise. Not so much the idea of it, because I can certainly suspend my disbelief in order to enjoy the story, but the execution of the portal pieces, didn’t come together for me so much. The appearance and the placement of the portals seemed a bit convenient and I had a tough time believing that a pregnant woman would even attempt to go through one, not knowing what would happen to the baby on the other side.

With that said, I was surprised at how anxious I was to get back to reading it! Some readers might argue this point but Quinn is a selfish character. Not overtly so, not enough to hate her, but enough to make me shake my head over her decisions. I kept reading it though because I wanted to see what she would do next and how her decisions would affect her life with Lewis and her son.

Overall, this would be a great vacation book. There is enough of a story here to make you want to turn the pages, yet it’s not just bubble-gum lit in that there is nothing to think about. Oh, there’s plenty to think about and if you’re like me, you’ll find yourself frustrated over Quinn’s decisions, but also cheering her on in the end. show less

Author Ellen Meister aptly describes her latest book, Joyride, as “quirky, funny, poignant, Brooklyn, and . . . life coach!” Inspiration for the story struck years ago. She sought to craft a story putting “two very opposite characters together -- a cheerful and painfully earnest young woman (think Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec) and a cynical, sarcastic father (think Dr. House meets Dorothy Parker).” But the path to publication was long – Meister wrote and published two other show more books before she completed Joyride and rewrote the novel numerous times before she knew she had accomplished her goal.

When Meister’s protagonist, Joybird Martin, is asked whether that is her real first name, she assures the person inquiring that her late mother, a poet, named her. (Meister relates that the name “flew in on the wings of a muse!”) Joybird’s mother was prescient. The name perfectly suits the thirty-one-year-old eking out a living in Brooklyn as an Uber driver. She is also studying Spanish in order to be able to comfortably converse with more of her customers because she enjoys talking with them as she delivers them to their destinations. She recently completed a course on life coaching and is continuing to hone her skills until she is able to open her own practice.

In the meantime, when handsome and stylish Devon Cato, a Wall Street Equities Analyst gets into her pale blue Honda, Joybird invites him to tell her about his day. Her attempts to cheer Devon up after a miserable workday do not go unnoticed. It's Devon who proposes the concept of a mobile life coaching service to Joybird, calling it “Joybird's Coaching Coach” and offering to connect her with someone who can set up a website for her. Joybird prefers "Joyride." But she's skeptical. Wouldn't clients prefer to meet with her in the lovely office she has been trying to save up enough money to rent? Or at least via Zoom?

Devon also suggests that they have dinner together. But Joybird has always been "drawn to artists, poets, idealists. Ambition unsettled her." So she can't imagine herself being compatible with someone like Devon -- a stockbroker. She's attracted to Noah Pearlman, a recovering addict and barista, with whom she serves at the Brooklyn Chapter of Mightier than the Sword, an organization that helps people express being marginalized through writing. She sees Noah as a man with a big heart and passion for helping others, while Devon initially suggested life coaching might be an extremely lucrative profession. But Noah has not asked Joybird out on a date, and she has yet to work up the courage to make the first move. But true to her character, Joybird soon chastises herself for judging Devon harshly "for his values -- the literal content of his character."

Joybird does need to enhance her income, though. Her father, Sid Marcus, recently landed on her doorstep and, in order to make room for him to move in with her, she had to ask her roommate, with whom she shared rent and other expenses, to move out. After a highly successful thirty-year career as a television writer in Hollywood, Sid has been canceled, a casualty of his own repugnant behavior and the #MeToo movement. Joybird isn't privy to the details, nor does she want to be. He views himself as a victim. He's unemployed. His business manager swindled him. His third marriage is over. And even though Sid abandoned Joybird when she was just six years old (he preferred to pursue his Hollywood career, leaving Joybird with her mother, who died two years later), she took him in and has been relentless with her upbeat encouragement, insistent that he can get his life and career back on track. But Sid prefers to wallow, hanging out in Joybird's apartment, ordering food to be delivered (he was wealthy for so long he has no appreciation of the need to live within Joybird's modest budget), and pretending to be pitching and developing scripts.

Joybird and Sid, total opposites, are living out “an intergenerational ‘Odd Couple’ conflict,” according to Meister.

Sid takes an odd trip down memory lane, reminiscing about Donna DeLuca, a girl he knew in high school. Sid is convinced that he saw her in a restaurant for the first time in forty years. But he froze, unable to approach her. Joybird becomes convinced that if she can just find Donna and reunite her and Sid, there is a chance Sid can find happiness. Because despite all of the ways in which he has disappointed her, Sid remains the one person in Joybird's life she has always wanted to make happy.

Hilarity ensues as Joybird searches for Donna with the assistance and support of Devon and her upstairs neighbor, Betty Simon. Betty is a seventy-something-year-old retired journalist and free spirit who loves to blast her Joni Mitchell albums, bake brownies containing a little something extra, and gives Joybird unconditional support and acceptance. She is also bluntly honest with Sid. And easily the most delightful character in a story populated with flawed, exasperating, and yet endearingly believable characters. Betty is the friend everyone wishes they had -- quirky, unapologetically genuine, and unafraid to lovingly but firmly point out when someone is wrong.

And as the hunt for the mysterious Donna proceeds, Joybird does, in fact, begin providing life coaching services from her Honda, thanks to a wealthy customer who sets out to make Joybird her private chauffeur. Instead, after Joybird helps her, she refers her friends who need advice about life, encouraging them to take a ride with the upbeat young woman who has an inherent talent for making people feel better. And Joybird’s relationships with Devon and Noah unfold (and one of them unravels) in a manner that feels organic and utterly unforced as Joybird discovers and embraces her own power and right to make choices that feel right for her.

Meister’s proven skill at crafting believable banter is prominently on display in Joyride, as is her enviable ability to employ unique plot devices and comedic developments to tackle serious subjects. She wisely does not just relate the story from Joybird’s viewpoint. Her inclusion of Sid’s perspective elevates the story and evokes an intense emotional response from readers. Ironically, early drafts of the book were written entirely from Sid’s viewpoint, but Meister was advised he was too unpleasant and unlikable. Meister was committed to presenting Sid’s perspective, finding him gruff, but often hilarious. Asking readers to love him proved too monumental a task. Eventually, it was toning down his anger that permitted Meister to find just the right tone.

And while Sid is still angry, he is primarily a narcissistic, abrasive alcoholic who has made many, many mistakes in his life. He is aware of his failures. He was not completely honest with Joybird about his reappearance because he did not want her to know about the life-altering, frightening experience that jolted him into feeling that he could not waste any more time before attempting to set things right with his daughter. He sincerely wants to make amends by selling a script that will generate enough income to provide security for Joybird and help his daughter take a more realistic look at the world. He legitimately fears that if Joybird doesn’t “toughen up,” her seemingly unbreakable spirit will eventually be crushed. But Sid is not great at staying on task and despite his best intentions, relapses into old, destructive patterns.

As for Joybird, she may be exceedingly optimistic, but she is not altogether naïve. She, like Sid, possesses a great deal of self-awareness. She understands that her childhood fantasies were at odds with the truth about her parents’ marriage and her father’s abandonment. She carries the scars and, from time to time, events trigger the pain of being left behind. It is her insight that fuels her desire to help others by guiding them beyond disappointment and pain to happy lives. She also recognizes that her father’s often inappropriate and downright crass behavior springs from his own pain and appreciates that he wants to be a better father to her than he was in the past.

In true Meister form, Joyride is more than an enjoyable tale about an idealistic young woman intent on overcoming obstacles in order to achieve a goal. At the outset, Joybird and Sid find themselves on an unexpected path forged out of Joybird’s refusal to abandon the man who did exactly that to her, and Sid’s desire to atone for the pain he caused the daughter he truly loved but had no ability (or desire in those days) to parent. The story is a multi-layered examination of the evolution of a father-daughter relationship through understanding, acceptance, and, ultimately, forgiveness of each other and themselves. Meister has once again created a seemingly light, frothy, and sometimes madcap story that, upon closer inspection, has real depth and emotional resonance.

Joybird and Betty are easy characters to love, but Meister really shines when she deftly humanizes Sid, inspiring readers to cheer for him to finally get his priorities and life in order. As the story opens, there is precious little about Sid to like, but Meister gradually reveals that there is, of course, much more to Sid and despite his horrid behavior, he does love and wants the best for Joybird. As will readers. There is no villain in Joyride. Rather, Meister has again invented a troop of flawed human beings who have experienced hurt, sustained losses and, in spite of their faults, care deeply for each other.

Joyride is a charmingly entertaining and riveting, well . . . joyride of witty dialogue and funny situations. It’s also thought-provoking. Meiser notes that she “wanted to love these characters deeply enough to fully understand their points of view and forgive their flaws” and the story succeeds primarily because Meister’s obvious compassion for her characters and the dilemmas they navigate is infectious.

Thanks to NetGalley for an electronic Advance Reader's Copy of the book and to the author for three paperback Advance Reader's Copies for my book club. show less