John Gardner (2) (1926–2007)

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Scorpius by James Gardner follows agent 007 as he infiltrates a religious cult run by a terrorist whose goal is to assassinate politicians. Mr. Gardner was an award-winning author and professor of medieval literature.

James Bond’s phone number is found in the pocketbook of a dead girl, which leads the investigation to look at a cult called The Society of the Meek Ones. Bond, who knows the girl, has suspicions about the show more cult’s leader, Father Valentine.

As he continues to investigate, 007 realizes that Father Valentine is Vladimir Scorpius, a ruthless criminal and terrorist. As he infiltrates the cult and is forced to marry Harriett Horner of the IRS, the stakes suddenly go beyond national security and become immensely personal.

The seventh book in the John Gardner’s Bond series starts off with an exciting adventure more reminiscent of Ian Fleming’s MI6 agent than the one in the movies. James Bond is even lacking stamina and makes crucial mistakes during the narrative.

Vladimir Scorpius is an interesting villain, which is what makes most stories. He’s a megalomaniac who has taken the 1980s religious terrorism and uses it for his plans.

It’s amusing to read books from this era, where modern technology seems old to us. Some of the old-school, considered high-tech when Scorpius by James Gardner was written, spy craft had me thinking that in today’s world, the solution might be a sentence where the character just googled the answer.

The novel set up the grand finale quite nicely, and the last quarter just…fizzled. Despite the great plot and interesting villain, the plot is uneven, and in dark moments, the author decided to include some silliness. That works in movies, not in novels.

Despite all that, I thought this was one of the better Bond novels that Mr. Gardner wrote. The meta joke where Bond is watching The Untouchables starring “one of his favorite actors” surprisingly works well. show less

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Hold onto your britches, folks, for I’ve just had a peculiar tussle with a tome by the name of Win, Lose or Die by John Gardner, a yarn featuring that fellow, Ian Fleming‘s Agent 007.

A Most Unconventional Assignment for Mr. Bond
Now, this particular escapade is as odd as a three-legged dog. Our man Bond, usually found hobnobbing with dames and driving conveyances faster than a greased weasel, is stuck aboard a British show more carrier, ferrying around some highfalutin’ VIPs for a secret pow-wow. The premise, mind you, stretches out for a whole year! And what does our dashing spy have to do? Why, master the art of flying a Harrier jet, of all things! One can only surmise the author, Mr. Gardner, simply shrugged and said, “Why not?”

And if that ain’t peculiar enough, Bond, a lone wolf by nature, is suddenly saddled with a veritable army of security chaps from three different nations. No fancy duds, no lightning-fast automobiles, no high living for our hero this time around. Instead, he’s relegated to the humble abode of a mass hall, a noisy jet, and the unglamorous life of a Navy man. It’s enough to make a gentleman sigh into his gin and tonic.

A Curious Brew of Thrills and Tedium
Win, Lose or Die is a strange concoction, a bit of this, a bit of that. Part technothriller, part murder-mystery, and a hefty dose of military action, but bless my soul, there’s hardly a whiff of actual espionage. The kindest word I can muster for this book is “competent.” Mr. Gardner, it’s plain to see, knows his onions. He handles the gizmos and gadgets and the bangs and booms with a masterful hand.

Yet, for a tale that spans a whole year, it moves along at a breathless clip, like a runaway stagecoach. We’re granted glimpses into the minds of sundry characters, but only after they’ve stumbled upon some crucial nugget for the plot. This hopping about makes for a dizzying ride, and frankly, it strains the credulity something fierce. And as for the plot twists, well, they’re as subtle as a bull in a china shop, bordering on the preposterous.

A Villain for the Ages… of Incompetence
Then there’s the villain, a fellow named Bassam Baradj. Now, I’ve seen my share of scoundrels in my day, but this Baradjchap is so spectacularly inept that even James Bond himself points it out! How a blithering idiot like him managed to orchestrate a scheme to snatch three of the world’s most powerful leaders is a mystery worthy of Sherlock Holmes himself – a mystery to Baradj, to Bond, and certainly to this humble reader. One might charitably think it a bit of Mr. Gardner’s famous tongue-in-cheek humor, but I’m inclined to believe it’s simply a regrettable lapse into parody.

Bond, A Fish Out of Water
And our dear Bond? He seems as out of place as a tuxedo at a hog roast, visibly uncomfortable with this whole “teamwork” notion, and casting a rather disdainful eye upon the young sailors. Truth be told, this book might have fared better had it not been shackled to the Bond franchise, which, let’s face it, comes with certain expectations of derring-do and gentlemanly fantasy. Nevertheless, it’s an honest effort, but it’s about as “Bond-like” as a temperance meeting.

The Gist of It (for Those Who Insist)
So, the long and short of it is this: During a grand military exercise dubbed “Landsea 89,” a clandestine confab is arranged, bringing together the bigwigs of England, the United States, and Russia – none other than Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, President George H. W. Bush, and Premier Mikhail Gorbachev.

Naturally, some obscure band of ne’er-do-wells, styling themselves the Brotherhood of Anarchy and Secret Terrorism (BAST), aim to spoil the party. And so, M, in his infinite wisdom, dispatches James Bond to personally safeguard this secret shindig, all under the rather flimsy guise of him returning to serve in Her Majesty’s Royal Navy. A grand premise, indeed, but one that takes a rather winding and peculiar path. show less

Assuming that you are OFA with the John Gardner James Bond universe, unlike the fact that Gardner has updated bond to the 1980s you’ll probably like this. I don’t think it’s a bad continuation novel and for lovers of the James Bond role playing game this will make a very good scenario. There was a twist which was unexpected, there was also some cringe some misogynist moments and I’m not sure that the references to Felix Leite’s daughter were appropriate.

As a James Bond novel, this did not disappoint. However, there were some elements that were decidedly uncharacteristic of the Bond character and of what fans have come to expect. For instance he's in love and living with a woman who is essentially acting as his partner/sidekick throughout the whole book (no thank you, Bond is a loner, an army unto himself, that's why we love him). He even proposes to this woman (because what Bond fan doesn't want to see James settle down and commit to a show more monogamous relationship?). At the end of the book he even cries when he's reunited with his love (*barf*, not MY James Bond!). Besides that whole mess, the book was lots of fun. show less