Jennie Rosenfeld

I was so impressed with this book. The reviewer who said it "wasn't worth it" doesn't understand who the intended audience is. This is a book about sex and physical intimacy for newlywed Torah-observant Jews - those who have chosen to be shomer negi'ah, which means, if they've been successful, they have never touched or kissed their new spouse (not even to hold hands) and have never even seen their spouse naked. So this book does start with the very basics - kissing, hand-holding, foreplay - show more because that is precisely where its intended audience needs to start.

Frankly, for a text aimed at a religiously-observant community, I could not have been more pleased. The writing here is frank and direct, and they go far beyond just good ol' missionary position. The authors recognize the wholeness of the physical experience for the married couple and give honest advice on how to deal with problems that newlyweds, particularly in the Torah-observant community, may face. This would be a fabulous resource for any young Jewish couple. show less

One of the first books I owned and read about sex was the classic The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort. I was both riveted and embarrassed even though, in hindsight, that how-to manual did approach the subject with greater sensitivity than many recent books. Most books on sex are really how-to manuals without in-depth context. They speak to the mechanics of sex, but rarely discuss the nuts-and-bolts of physical intimacy of love making within committed relationships. The other book I read as a new show more bride, erred on the side of the esoteric, citing studies and providing clinical explanations that might have bored some to tears and almost frightened me.

For the uninitiated or those with limited experience, but a strong desire or need to go beyond just the possible viable positions and methods of pleasuring one another, there is a lovely solution in Jennie Rosenfeld's and David S. Ribner's new book, The Newlywed's Guide to Physical Intimacy. I was fortunate to receive it through the Library Thing's Early Reviewer program.

This book surprised me with its clear and thorough explanations considering it was written by and intended for the conservative and ultra-conservative Torah-observant Jewish community. Even though the text itself is without illustrative photos and diagrams, there is a modest packet of explicit drawings tucked into a sealed envelope attached to the inside back cover. As befits a book intended for a chaste and conservative audience, there is a label on that packet warning of its explicit nature.

For some non-conservative readers, this lack of visual aids may seem quaint and non-helpful, but to avoid this book for that reason would be a mistake. This small book contains useful information that not only provides practical advice about techniques and mechanics, but also nurtures a sensitivity that will benefit both sexual partners.

Remember, this is meant for newlyweds both as premarital sex education primer, but also an on-going, nurturing manual that will enable and empower a couple to transcend inhibitions borne of ignorance or inexperience. The authors want their readers to find pleasure in both physical and emotional intimacy not only in their first interactions, but throughout their married lives.

There are the necessary basics: where things are and how they work; but there is also a strong emphasis on the need for patience and clear communication. To that end, the authors address issues that most people never consider, but which are necessary for an active, fulfilling sex life.

Make no mistake, this small book is not one to skirt vital issues: how sex smells, sounds, and feels for both the male and female; how to deal with unrealistic expectations; and, lack or orgasm as well as how to maximize orgasmic potential. There is a straightforward discussion of lubrication, how to deal with the constricts of religious observation as it applies to sex, causes of impotence, sex during and after pregnancy and how external pressure can affect a couple's sex life amongst other issues.

Even though I am not Jewish and have decades of sexual experience, I found this book to be informative and engaging. It is well written and thoughtfully presented. I will be gifting it to our daughter because I wish I had had access to such a beautifully written guide to sex and intimacy, and know she will benefit from the frank and full discussion within it. It is tastefully presented and should be read by anyone who wants to have a long, healthy, satisfying sex life with the person they love. show less

Sex is a difficult subject within the Orthodox Jewish community, who are observant of all the rules they have around a particular choice in religious lifestyle. In this book, the authors attempt to bridge that gap between faith and life, mixing basic need-to-know information for someone new to physical intimacy with a clear and thoughtful attentiveness to the emotional issues and intimacy that comes of sexual relationships.

From that vantage-point, the book succeeds. There are frank but not show more gratuitous explanations of the physical, mental, and emotional mechanics of sex. There is a great deal of attention paid to building up the groundwork of how sex fits into a relationship, and, furthermore, a good section of real-world "inserts" or dialogues dealing with questions outside of the mechanical narrative.

One thing I found as a slight mixed message, and which caused some challenge in the reading and understanding of the sections which required them, was the compartmentalization of the illustrations from the text into a separate envelope in the back. If the book goes as far as to provide a list of "reputable" websites where marital aids and sex toys can be discretely procured, why then support the ideology that graphic depiction, even in the form of assistance, is something which should be viewed as equally taboo. As someone not inside the community of intended recipients, I found this quite a contradiction, especially given the care and attention to detail the book otherwise spends on all the other issues within. The illustrations, as an example, from "Men Are From Mars..." were not pornographic, but were much more useful, inline with the text, and helped greatly in the instructive aspects of the writing.

Overall, the book succeeds in its goal, as suggested by its title - inform and educate a newlywed couple, which, given the traditions of the intended audience, would have little to no information to work with in regards to sexual congress. This book is not recommended for those outside the intended audience - there are much better sources for sexual health that do not meter and factor content within the bounds of ancient religious tradition. show less

I should probably begin by pointing out that, while this book is intended for the Orthodox Jewish community, I am not Jewish. However, as a conservative Christian, I can appreciate the modesty with which the subject is approached, and the fact that the book addresses things from the perspective of partners who entered into marriage as virgins.

This text is sensitively written, and takes a respectful approach to sexual intimacy. The necessary diagrams aren't even in the pages of the book show more itself, but sealed in an envelope inside the cover and labeled with a warning. It doesn't avoid anything, though!

There are a great deal of sexual issues addressed in this small book. In particular, issues that would be relevant to those who came into marriage as virgins - or even without having ever touched - will find their concerns addressed. I am hard-pressed to think of anything that has been left out; it's pretty thorough.

I would definitely recommend it. show less