Terrance Dean

If you want to write a memoir, write a memoir. If you want to write a salacious tell-all book, then do it. However, do not try to mix the two, because when you do it fails miserably.

The blind item parts were an absolute mess. His life story was interesting, but I did not like how homosexuality was equated with molestation. Little gay boys and gay girls unfortunately are raped every day. The last thing that needs to happen is that when they find their voices and come of age is for some show more uninformed adult to say that a rape formed their sexuality. show less

Terrance Dean has written a textbook example of the fast-paced “summer novel” with Mogul. Drawing on his experience in the music business, already discussed in his 2008 non-fiction book Hiding In Hip Hop: On the Down Low in the Entertainment Industry from Music to Hollywood, Dean here lays out the life and hidden loves of a top producer “on the DL.” Dean shows that he is capable of writing a successful page-turner. Fast moving, gossipy, and sexy, it seems the perfect accompaniment to show more lounging in the sun. show less

The starting point of this “how to do” book on bettering yourself and your life, Straight from your gay best friend: the straight-up truth about relationships, work, and having a fabulous life, is that, your best gay friend will always give you the right advice since he is not interested himself in what you want. Another woman will be jealous, another man, not gay, will probably work for himself more than you, but a gay man? He will be your best friend since he will be an ally and not a show more competitor (now, this is not considering all the bisexual men out there, but that is probably in line with the author’s experience, that basically bisexual is only a phase, or you are straight or you are gay).

Another thing that probably differentiate this book from other similar books is that the author is quite hard with the female readership, he doesn’t console them, he tries to shock them out of their self-inducted stupor. Basically he is saying that most of the trouble a woman has in a relationship are due to her own self-esteem issues; if a woman doesn’t love herself, she will not be able to find someone else that will love her back.

Point one and point two I quite agree, I probably have more difficulties to agree to point three, since I’m not a religious woman myself; basically the author says that a good relationship with spirituality (doesn’t matter what religion, the important thing is that you have a religion) is the first step towards being more aware of yourself and the world around you.

There are a lot of other advices, that basically are well explained by the titles of the different chapters, that are slogan to write down and remember:

1. Get It Together: If It Don’t Fit, Don’t Force It!
2. Friend or Foe? Recognize Your Frenemies
3. Spirit: Your Number One Relationship
4. Love Yourself: If You Don’t, Who Will?
5. Get Some Me Time: Not Some Him and Some Her, Just a Little Me Time
6. Stimulate MENtally and Physically: From Manolos To MOMA
7. Working 9 to 5: Is This a Way to Make a Living?
8. Ambitious: Not Am Bitches
9. Family Dearest: You Can Pick Your Friends, But Not Your Family
10. Forgive: ’Cause You Know Not What You Do
11. Be Still and Wait: Patience Is a Virtue
12. Be Open to Love When It Shows Up: A Closed Heart Doesn’t Receive Joy
13. Every Man Is Not Relationship Material: Get Up and Move On!
14. You Get What You Ask For: Recognize the Difference Between a Winner and a Loser
15. Listen: It Will Save You a World of Headaches
16. Date: It’s That Thing You Do Before Sex
17. Let Go of Being Right: Don’t Make Him Wrong…Right?
18. Money Can Buy Sex, but Not Love: Gigolos Get Lonely, Too
19. Yes, Girl, He Is into You—And Him, Too!

Other than probably taking them in consideration next time I will have to take some important decision, I have to say that I liked this book since I felt that the author was not preaching, that he lived and experimented himself most of the above, from both sides, who was trying to better himself and maybe even from the side of who has to be left behind. Here and there, the personal life of the author, told more in a narration form than a manual, came out, and that part of the book is probably what I liked best, together of course with the moment when the author was writing about someone else woman life and I was thinking this is me.

Easy and fast to read, even if I’m not sure I will be able to follow all of this advice, or maybe, having followed some, knowing that not always the output is positive, nevertheless they are good advice, and that is said from a woman perspective, woman that would like to find a gay best friend like Terrance Dean.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1932841563/?tag=elimyrevandra-20 show less

I think this man is overly delusional and living in a fantasy. He descriptions are repetitive. The beginning about his upbringing was interesting but beyond that it gets pretty redundant! He almost comes off as a hypocrite. And forget about finding about down low celebs. Names are withheld and descriptions are vague enough that it could be numerous people. I almost feel that some of the things he writes are not true. His numerous sexcapades are described in detail. Its a quick read but I show more found myself disgusted and ready to be done at times. show less