A. Meredith Walters

This book goes straight to the top of my 2015 Favorites list...
Talk about psychological thriller!! This one picked me up, carried me to a dark, crazy world, and eventually blew me away. My mind was blown and my heart was shattered into ten million tiny little pieces time and time again.

I honestly feel like my mind was violated. I learned to trust and that was my downfall. The darkness slowly consumed me and I couldn't see anything in front of me. The story crawled deep within my soul and show more began controlling my thoughts and feelings. I was manipulated by fictional characters... How silly is that? I felt pain, but in some sick, twisted way... The pain set me free.

If you liked YOU by Caroline Kepnes... You will LOVE this one. It is similar, only better. The writing was flawless and the story was captivating. The Author gave us just enough info to rob us of our sanity and keep us guessing the whole way through. You may think you know what will happen in the end, but until that last page closes... nothing is certain.

#keepthesecret show less

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

The town of Wellsburg, West Virginia was dying a slow and painful death. And I was trapped inside. This ship would be taking me down with it.

I’ve been avoiding writing this review for a few days now because this is the type of story that just needs to marinate within you. It has been engrained so deep in my soul, these characters will never leave. I’m not exaggerating when I state that this book has profoundly affected me. Rendered me show more speechless. Left me conflicted with emotion. Hopeful for the future, yet despondent for the past. This is the type of story that only comes along once in a lifetime and I will go so far as to preemptively state best book of the year! As I sat here this morning making graphics for my post I found myself becoming overwhelmed with emotion once again. I cannot think about this story without having that that reaction; it’s that powerful!

If it’s true that eyes are the windows to your soul, I knew that mine held no possibility for goodness.

Anything good has been killed a long time ago.
Full disclosure: you aren’t going to like the main female character Ellie. In fact, at many points throughout the book you are going to downright hate her. Even now, having finished the story, I am not sure how I feel about her. I’m extremely conflicted and that’s never happened with a character before. That being said, it’s a complete love-hate conundrum of epic proportions. Because while part of me hates her, a large part of me also is completely in love with her and understands why circumstances made her the way she is. I get it, I do, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Ellie is going to be a hard character for most to accept. But I will tell you this; when you DO accept her, all her flaws and insecurities and self-destruction, you are privy to something so completely beautiful you fear you’ll go blind from her light. And at the heart of her core, that is what drives Ellie; a childhood riddled with abuse and abandonment has left her striking out before anyone else can strike her first. She cuts through you with her words and actions, leaving you writhing on the ground in the midst of an emotional tornado. Ellie is stuck and has accepted it begrudgingly. She’s trudging through life stuck in the mud, struggling to grasp the quicksand. And when all hope seems lost, someone comes along with a proverbial shovel.

Pummeled by real life. She stopped dreaming. She stopped thinking big. She accepted. Like we all eventually did.
They say misery loves company. And we were the best company each other had.

Flynn was just…there aren’t adequate words to fully describe how simple yet eye-opening of a character he was. When I say that this book will literally bring you to your knees, it all starts and ends with this young man. You see, Flynn has Asperger’s Syndrome, and for those of you not familiar with it, you are in for an awakening. Most of this book is in Ellie’s POV, but in some glimpses of the past we are gifted with what was running through his mind. Those rare moments when we view his thought process, I’m telling you. They are going to break you. Decimate you. Leave you unable to do anything else for the foreseeable future. Flynn wasn’t a complex character by any normal standards, in fact he was pretty cut and dry. But he had emotions and feelings that no one could begin to understand. The way he processed situations and viewed life in such a cut and dry way; it was awe-inspiring. His ability to forgive and accept people at face value is a lesson that we could all do to learn and improve upon. I pride myself on accepting everyone as they are, faults and all, and I don’t know that I could forgive what he had to endure. He is certainly a much stronger person that I could ever wish to be. Knocked down again and again, disappointment after heart breaking disappointment, yet he keeps getting back up. This was a young man with a pure soul, no matter how hard life tried beating it out of him.

He has always let me leave.
I realized I was more than a little resentful about that.
Because just once I’d like someone to ask me to stay. I needed to feel wanted.

The relationship between Ellie and Flynn was not one of any conventional standards. Secret friends in high school and then separated for six years; they come back together at a point in their lives when they both needed it the most. You are delivered a bombshell at the beginning of the story and the remainder is a build up to that revelation. I wasn’t sure how the story was going to end, but in my eyes, it didn’t really matter. This was one of those rare tales where they only thing of importance was the journey. That is extremely rare for me to find in a book and just another of the many reasons I fell so hard. This was a journey of forgiveness, acceptance, and finding yourself. It was a journey of healing. It was a journey of realizing that maybe, just maybe, the universe will throw you a life raft and you aren’t destined to repeat the mistakes of your past. Quite possibly there could be more for you on the horizon, a light you not only never knew existed but you never fathomed was a even a possibility. The ease in which Flynn accepts Ellie brought tears to my eyes. He accepted her, from day one, for what she was. He saw through her tough exterior to the heart inside. And while she resisted, Ellie was no match for herself or Flynn. The heart wants what the heart wants, and fate cannot be denied. People are brought into our lives for a reason, sometimes briefly, and sometimes to help us realize our true self. Everything else is just noise.

I had held onto my bitterness and anger for so long it had become a part of me. If I let it go I wasn’t sure what I’d be left with.

This isn’t an easy read, in fact it took me three days versus the one that books usually take me. But that was because I simply didn’t want it to end. I savored each and every drop of pain, of redemption, of love. I lapped them up as my soul splintered and was pieced back together. There are some ugly truths that come to light and will really open your eyes. This is a thought provoking book and one that will evoke emotions in you that you didn’t know existed. Let me reiterate; this is a MUST read. Not only the best of the year, but quite possibly one of the best books I have EVER read! I cannot recommend it enough to each and every person I come into contact with. If you read no other books this year, while highly unlikely, make it this one. You will come out on the other side changed; I know I did. I don’t give these out often or blindly, but this book deserves it. My ‘so nice I rated it twice’ 10 STARS rating! As much as I loved her Find You in the Dark series, this far surpasses it, which is a feat I didn’t know was possible.

I loved him.
I did.
I had never loved anyone before but now I loved him with my whole being.
It split me open.
My guts spilled out on the floor at Flynn’s feet.
He owned me. Completely.
There was no coming back from this.
Flynn had reclaimed me. show less

6 Stars

Words cannot describe the range of emotions you feel while reading Reclaiming the Sand. It is a completely maddening, at times horrible, yet absolutely brilliant read.

If you stand back from the book and just look at the plot, it is not complex. It's a story about Flynn a boy with Aspergers syndrome who gets bullied in school, and Ellie, an orphan, a victim of her circumstances, who tries to fit in. After a rocky start, Ellie and Flynn begin an easy uncomplicated friendship. That was, show more unless she was with her friends. Then she bullied the shit out of him, or watched as unspeakable things are done to him.

I cannot express how heavy my heart gets, how fast the tears come when I think about what was done to him (even days later). I screamed, cried, and hurt for Flynn, a simple boy who understood simple things. A boy who didn't understand feelings, both emotionally or physically. Yet, everything that he goes through, Flynn forgives Ellie.

Some may sympathize or begin to like her, or understand her. I am not forgiving. I understand some of her actions, but don't others. As the book progressed, you can slowly begin to like her, but as I said, I don't. The only reason I could tolerate her as a character, is because Flynn could. He was only comfortable around her. He wanted her to be his, and forsaking every damned thing, painful experience after another, he forgave her because she was it. While she does grow and learn as a character, and is redeemable at the end, it wasn't enough for me.

The story is told from a mixture of both POVs, with Flynn's POV mainly being in the past. Walters did a wonderful job with researching the subject and mannerisms of someone with Aspergers and portraying that to the reader. You get a glimpse of what life would be like for them, and that insight alone opens your eyes. I think though, that his character feeling such raw emotions, while being bullied, is the blade that cuts you. Yeah, anyone can write a book about bullying.. but Walters gives you a book that lets you know how awful it feels. And it HURT me to read this. I tried to tell my heart, that this is just a boy on paper, just words that make sentences and paragraphs, but I still wanted to scream and cry.

I think some of the feelings could relate to me having my own child, and fearing something happening to him. Or thinking back to a time when I could have stood up for someone and didn't. Wondering what type of impact could I have made in someone's life.

I think the true test of a book should be based upon the emotions you have while reading. Sure plot, characters, and all that are good, but if you can cry for a person, can absolutely hate a girl, all from reading.. then the author has definitely passed.

Overall, this isn't a rainbows and flowers type of read, yet it's not truly dark either. It's real and raw and heartbreaking. It fucking hurts. It doesn't have the a sappy ending, but is good. I would have liked more at the ending, only because it would have redeemed Ellie a little for me. That's what I wanted, a little more redemption, or maybe for Karma to step in and kick someone's ass. But in keeping with the realism, it's not often that you get what you want. You have to learn to move on, forgive, and live your life the best way you can. Read it, if not for the enjoyment of reading, read it to open your eyes in someone elses shoes. show less

3

WOOOOOOOW

Cuando empecé a leer este libro en absoluto me esperaba lo que me terminé encontrando .

Empieza como todas las novelas románticas de hoy en día ...

La chica conoce al chico más hermoso y misterioso y oso del colegio y hace lo posible por hacerse amiga . El chico , aunque reacio al principio , acepta este acercamiento y se deja llevar .

Hasta ahí lo normal .

Tras semanas de idas y vueltas en la amistad , crece la atracción entre ambos . Tanto que tras un par de intentos fallidos show more de manoseos y besos , ya no pueden seguir negandose que quieren algo más y deciden pasar a lo que sigue .

Seguimos bien? Lo mismo de siempre no?


La suerte está echada , Diego .

..............................

Este es el momento del libro en que yo pienso : "Bien ,que tengan relaciones y que salga el drama patético que seguro debe tener el pibe así ya me voy a dormir ... que lo hagan rápido que mañana me tengo que despertar temprano ."

Y ahí me equivoqué . Porque , obviamente , cuando un pibe con problemas es DE VERDAD un pibe con PROBLEMAS , nada puede salir bien . (O nada puede malir sal ?... si , es lo primero que sale mal)

No quiero arruinarles la sorpresa así que opto por no contar cual es el GRAN PROBLEMA que ataca a CLAY y lo convierte en un TRAVIS MADDOX pero sin idealizarlo ni excusarlo con falsos romanticismos ni flores . Este libro está más cerca de novelas como [b:Willow|4570768|Willow|Julia Hoban|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1393127347s/4570768.jpg|4620119] que de delirios eróticos como [b:Beautiful Disaster|11505797|Beautiful Disaster (Beautiful, #1)|Jamie McGuire|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1358259032s/11505797.jpg|16441531] .

Trata sobre relaciones abusivas , de esas que aislan a las personas y las convierten en esclavos de la persona que aman , siempre jugando con la culpa y la compasión ; llegando hasta el punto de que quien está disminuido (quien es realmente la víctima) se contagia de la locura y termina haciendo oidos sordos a la gente que realmente se preocupa por ellos y priorizando a quien le hace mal .

Ufff , pausa para respirar ....


El acierto con el que está tratado el tema me sorprendió . No me esperaba semejante seriedad y realismo en una novela NEW ADULT y el final que le dio la autora era el único posible y aceptable .

Más allá de la escritura mediocre y alguna que otra cosirijilla molesta en los monólogos internos de la protagonista , es una novela muy recomendable a pesar de lo angustiante y difícil . Cualquier persona que haya sufrido lo que sufre Clay o haya vivido un noviazgo dependiente como al que es sometida Maggie , va a disfrutar mucho esta historia de desamor y desencuentro .

Me intriga saber de que tratará la continuación . show less