Sue Bender (1933–2025)

PLAIN and SIMPLE, A Woman’s Journey to the Amish, by Sue Bender (pp 149). Ms Bender, an artist, grew enamored of Amish Quilts, and wondered about their creators. In time, she decided to live with the Amish, spending two several-week stays with two different families over the course of several years. As anyone visiting a new and radically community, the author observed and (gently) judged the seemingly simple (non-tech) ways of the people who took her in. It’s easy to be critical of her show more observations, but I think it’s natural to compare and contrast what you know with what you don’t know. Ms Bender came to know, love, and respect the very different lifestyle of the Amish, and much of her book describes her experiences, and how what she learned changed her life and her art. This was, for me, a confirmation of wanting/needing to visit and live among different people and in different cultures. Only by seeing how others live, understand how and why they think what they do (as best one can), and thereby stretch yourself, can one truly understand oneself. The author includes some conclusions, but I think they can be jettisoned without harming the book. This little volume is an excellent tool for looking at one’s self, and possibly prompting the reader to put themselves in a new societal environment to explore their own way of life. And, if you like to quilt, that alone might be a good reason to read this book. show less

I'm not sure why I'm keeping this book. Just thumbing through it, it annoys me as much now as when I had to read it for a grad school assignment. The author is an artist who developed a highly romanticized view of the Amish, based on her impressions of Amish quilts. She spends time with an Amish family, hoping that the simple life she interpreted from the quilts will soothe her own overwrought spirit.

Except, she didn't want the Amish as they were. She wanted her internal storybook Amish. She show more is constantly amazed by them, as in "This supposedly unworldy young person, cut off from television, newspapers, movies, and radio, carried on a lively and intelligent conversation." I don't get the logic of that statement; it sounds like a 19th century anthropologist amazed by the cleverness of the locals. "The Yoders weren't poor, but their diet was awful..." she says, never stopping to consider that hard work might benefit from a heavier hand on the fats and carbs. Her fallen-from-the-fairytale Amish go outside her comfort zone when shopping: "I was surprised to see them buying deodorant, mouthwash, aloe vera skin lotions—a lot of items I labeled nonessential."

She says she wants to learn from them, but really seems to want them to have her taste:

"In their world they chose well, but when faced with a bewildering array of choices in the outside community, they often chose unwisely. In fact, before the 1850s, when they led a spartan and isolated life, their homes were bare, but handsome. Now with affluence, many homes had fussy china proudly displayed in living room cupboards."

This strange blend of arrogance and condescending judgment fills the book. My professor was appalled at my criticism of the book, but I was and still am appalled by the white-lady-among-the-natives tone the author took. At the end of the book, she says she experienced no life-changing amazing insights from her time with the Amish. The very fact she could make the judgments she made illustrates that fact louder than any explicit announcement.

I give it two stars solely in acknowledgment of her ability to write a competent English sentence, which is no mean feat in this day and age. show less

Reading this slim little volume was like sitting down in your favourite armchair with a hot cup of tea at the end of a long day: soothing, comforting and deliciously peaceful. Built around Bender's fascination with Amish quilts, this is the story of how her interest became a full-fledged quest for a better and calmer life. Bender went to stay with two different Amish families over the course of a few years, and tried to use her experiences in their communities to pinpoint what was missing show more from her life and reframe it in a way that balanced Amish values with modern American living. Unexpectedly relatable, interesting and quite lovely. show less

The author went to live with an Amish family, and then she did it again. She had a romanticized idea of What The Amish Are Like and kept trying to cram them into her box. It tells us more about her (I have to resurrect an obsolete word from the mid-20th century) neuroses than about the actual Amish. Still, it was a good try.