D.H. Sidebottom

Regressive, Reckless, and Ridiculous: Meet the Worst Book I've Ever Read

In all honesty, this is the worst book I’ve ever read. It’s so backwards-leaning, demented, idiotic, and irresponsible, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Long and Sidebottom are actually Trump and Musk respectively.

Daisy is our female protagonist who has just been cheated on by her boyfriend, been fired from her job, and, encouraged by friends, now wants to take a holiday. To give you a first idea of what Daisy show more is like, let’s examine her thoughts about that:

»My pout returns when I remember she’s right. I have no job to try and take holidays from. I have no boyfriend to seek permission from.«

The male protagonist, Frazer, is by no means better.

»From what I know, Nigel is a prize ass, anyway, and I’m sure no mother could be proud of a son who wears brown corduroys and a feather fucking earring while he sticks toenail clippings to bits of cardboard – all at the same time.«

His behaviour resembles that of a reckless, careless, horny teenager. He doesn’t mind “forgetting” using a condom much and when asked to visit the local pharmacy for the pill after, he refuses because he’s a man…

Daisy's reaction to this is… surprising as well: She starts hopping, “Trying to get it all out. You know, fling it downwards!” as a means of birth control.

Frazer also thinks “pulling out” is a valid method of contraception, and so does Daisy, as she doesn’t even react to it. He also doesn’t mind jumping the next available female despite harbouring very strong feelings for Daisy. To get rid of said woman the morning after, he behaves extremely rudely and insultingly to her.

There’s also a notable side character called Frank. Frank seems to be a middle-aged white male of the “disgusting sexist” variety. Whenever and wherever he sees a woman, he greets her like this:

»Frank is sitting at his spot on the bench, and lifting a hand in greeting to me, he shouts out, “Morning, sugar tits.”«

And this is by far the most “harmless” greeting…

Fittingly, the writing feels cheap and bland, with absolutely no highlights and humour of this type:

»He makes money out of used loo rolls and my life is so shit I need the toilet tissue.«

There’s a lot of sex and I usually don’t complain about smut but the sparse and barren language as well as a complete absence of noticeable, credible desire or at least lust gives it a mechanical, transactional, and sometimes clinical feeling. Let’s take a look at Daisy’s and Frazer’s first “encounter” (abridged):

»“Show me your dick and I’ll sign the piece of paper.”
[...]
“Oh yeah. Okay then. Here goes.”
[...]
He winks at me. “Fine with me. Listen. This is going to sound weird, but can I touch your boob just a little bit?”
[...]
“Okay.”
[...]
“I want to touch it.”
[...]
“You can if you want but then you’ll have to excuse me to go to the loo and know I’m going to think about your body as I beat off. I’ve gone past the point of no return here.”«

This, fellow readers, is how they fall in insta-love. It is also the moment when I started feeling nauseous.

Even though this is more of a novella, there’s still tons of filler material, e. g. Daisy going on a dinner date (a disaster both story- and novel-wise) during which she complains about the size of one of the waiter’s eyes…

»The waiter huffs loudly and shifts from one foot to the other. I’d feel sympathetic for him but he definitely has one eye bigger than the other and looks down right shifty.«

The authors go on, and on, and on to put every single shitty cliché into their novel…

»Shirley reaches out and pats Daisy’s hand. “Aww, darling, you should have said if you’re premenstrual.”«

… to “dumb blondes”...

»Maybe because, a, your dick definitely does NOT taste of lychees like you promised.«

… and great, loving parenting styles…

»Your brother ran away at thirteen when I told him he couldn’t dye his hair pink. He did the same at fourteen when I told him his new earring looked stupid. It was a peacock feather, for God’s sake.«

There’s even blackfacing…

»Kathy and I are dressed in hoodies and jeans. We’ve put the darkest fake tan on our faces and hands so we look a different race altogether from a distance. That’s what we’re going to be all night long.«

This could go on for all of the 260 pages of this irredeemably bad book, one of the very few without any redeeming qualities at all.

There was one moment, though, that made me laugh out loud but, unfortunately, it was unintentionally funny and only serves to show how, uhm, “intellectually challenged” these authors are:

»She then turns over and is out as if someone has put a chlorophyll-filled tissue in her face.«

Dear Andie and D.H., the word you were looking for is “Chloroform” which firmly belongs to the 19th and early 20th century from which your novel’s jokes, ideas about gender, sex, and societal norms also come.

Your verbal diarrhoea is disgusting and solely garners one star out of five because I can’t give none.

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If you're looking for a dark romance that pits brother against brother, and shows just how far revenge can evolve into obsession and retribution, then you will not want to miss Cadence A big warning here though. This is not a light and fluffy romance. This is romance at its darkest, and not only is it gritty, it's violent and in many ways deeply disturbing. Moreover, a number of scenes involve rape, humiliation, extreme violence and deep mentally twisted behaviors, so if any of these are a show more trigger for you, then you may want to skip this one. Additionally, you must read Book 1 in the Deception series, Facade for this story to make sense.

They grew up as childhood friends and then turned into high school sweethearts. Then everything went so terribly wrong. So wrong that Dante spent the next many years building his entire life and empire around planning his revenge. A revenge that would break both the woman he at one time loved beyond reason and his very own twin brother.

Cade had always wanted Faye Avery, but she belonged to his brother, though his brother didn't deserve her. Even back then his need for control threatened to change her, and she was too good for his deepest, darkest desires. Nonetheless, out of respect, Cade stayed away from Faye, even when his heart told him that only he could provide Faye with what she truly deserved.

Then fate teared it all apart, and Cade waited patiently helping Faye through the pain. It took years, but ultimately their affection for one another led to something more. Just as Cade and Faye became engaged and were ready to take their lives to another level, Dante returns with his need for control and revenge scheme ready to destroy everything in its path.

When a man is so depraved that there is no end to what he will do to claim his revenge, is there any chance of derailing his efforts? Dante may have stolen her and tried to break Faye, but Cade will never stop fighting to recapture her heart, not until his last dying breath, if that's what it takes. But will Cade be too late, when Dante unleashes his inner beast on Faye to punish her for his distorted view of the past? Moreover, Dante is Cade's blood, if the only way to rescue Faye is by destroying Dante, will Cade be able to finish him off in the end, particularly when his heart is bereft of the darkness that so consumes Dante?

What an emotional roller coaster and strangely, fascinating view into the mind of an obsessed and deranged madman. This book left me speechless, so much so that it took me several days to put pen to paper to my thoughts. I so longed for Dante to redeem himself. How could a man once so in love, do the things he did in the name of claiming what he considered his own and once so dear to his heart? Fortunately, what made this a truly great read for me, is that there is some light and hope dangling as a potential future outcome. As evil as Dante is, Cade potentially cleanses his sins with his alpha hero, do anything for love, persona that will leave you feeling like even at its deepest, most hopeless moments, there is still a potential light at the end of the tunnel.

Source: Review copy provided in exchange for an honest review. show less

This was not at all what I was expecting, especially after the more fluffier rocker books I'd just read. Gut twisting! Heart wrenching! I cried, I yelled at the Nook, I fanned myself, I smiled a lot. A lot of the time, Jax reminded me more of a biker than rocker, and the way he talked kept bringing to mind Deuce (Undeniable). And E... I adored her! Feisty chick with tons of heart and lots of personality. The best thing, for me, was that these two came from truly troubled pasts. Their secrets show more weren't cheesy or fluffy, but seriously messed up, which made them both seriously messed up individuals. Also, I loved that you saw how things evolved over time, instead of just hearing about their past together. You went through it with them, so when things went haywire mid-book, you were right there with them... getting your heart ripped out of your chest. show less

I haven't read anything by D.H. Sidebottom before, but I have read books by Ker Dukey, so I knew that I would be in for something that I would enjoy. And I was right. I did enjoy this book. Enjoy may not be quite the right word for it though, just might not be strong enough. I was really engrossed in the book and pulled into Avery and Slade's story, so when the end came, I wasn't ready for the end of the book, and I needed more. Luckily, the second book is already out, so I was able to get show more that and read it immediately.

Avery is the Cutter's Princess. Her dad runs the MC and she's his daughter. But, she wants more to her life than that. She's been dating someone else for a few months, hiding it from her dad. One night Avery and her boyfriend, and her friend and her boyfriend are going out. They stop at an out-of-the-way gas station to try to pick up some beer and snacks. While they are there, 3 riders come up on them. The problem is, they aren't from Avery's dad's club. They are from Lilith's Army.

The 3 bikers cause havoc and end up taking the girls. When the guys find out that Avery is a club princess to an allied club, the stuff hits the fan. You see, the guy who took her and now has her handcuffed in his room is the son of the Prez of the Lilith's Army. And Brenner taking Avery just started a war. The only way to stop the war or minimize it as much as possible is to have Avery marry Slade/Frost, the Prez's older son and soon to be VP. So that's what's decided will happen.

Oh man. I mean the ride that Avery and Slade go through along with how their past has affected them and changed their POV, and their goals for the future is a very bumpy one. There are all kinds of obstacles every time they turn around, and that doesn't even include the issues they have within themselves, and fighting those. I really, really, felt what Avery felt and I totally got where Slade was coming from. It was an engrossing story, and one that I'll read and reread. show less