Corey L. M. Keyes

Like many people during the pandemic, I read Adam Grant's essay on languishing and felt seen in a way I hadn't before. I appreciated having a term for what it meant to not be mentally unwell, but not exactly thriving, either. So when I saw this book, I had to pick it up. I had assumed it was written by the author of the popular New York Times piece, but, alas, it wasn't.

I dove into the book with high hopes, wanting more of what the article delivered. And I got some of that. The topic is show more fascinating and deeply relatable, but the writing style was much too dry and academic in nature. I kept finding my attention straying, and I'd have to go back and re-read entire paragraphs because my mind kept wandering.

I was also disappointed by the practical suggestions for moving from languishing to flourishing. It was a bit like being told to eat more vegetables--good for me, sure, but hardly a revelation.

Still, the book is relatable and relevant to our collective experience, and I'm glad I read it. I just wish it was more memorable and impactful overall. show less

As the foremost researcher on mental health, Dr. Keyes breaks down his research on what makes people happy, emotionally resilient and mentally healthy. His recommendations are rigorously researched and extremely practical. The advice felt very actionable and helped me understand my own experiences - both what makes me feel better when I'm dragging and why I enjoy certain activities.

The most revealing to me was the chapter on play - defined as unstructured fun without goal or rewards. A show more pursuit that is undertaken merely for the pleasure. That's something that occurs frequently in childhood but rarely thereafter. The author gave me a lot to think about and the book was so dense that I might read it again just to absorb all the details. show less

Languishing presents an interesting framework for mental wellness, brought down a kind of gloss over the realm struggles that people face in their lives. Keyes is a professor of sociology who has focused his career on happiness and mental health not merely as the absence of diagnosable mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, etc, but as a positive quality in and of itself. The opposite of flourishing, of leading the good life, is languishing.

The first half of the book is show more devoted to alarming statistics about languishing, and how it is associated with worse outcomes across the lifespan, from teen suicide to broken marriages to listless careers and golden years cut prematurely short. There is some moderate crankiness about how anti-depressants don't really work (let's just say the biological underpinnings of mood are hard). Having thoroughly laid out the case for languishing as a problem, Keyes lays out his five "vitamins" for curing languishing.

Every day you should:
* Learn something
* Have a meaningful human connection
* Seek spirituality
* Find meaning in your labor
* Play!

Cool.

Cool cool cool.

Okay, I firmly believe that all of the above are good ideas, but have you tried being alive in 2024? I'll get right on not languishing once I deal with some other things.

This Is Fine by KC Green show less

7 stars: Good

Title says it all. Nothing in here I wasn't generally aware of already. Giving to CLC for her class.

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One quote/item I liked was an action plan to move from languishing to flourishing. Again, items I know but as a reminder:

1) Increase your active leisure and decrease your passive leisure (don't stare at TV / screens all day!!)
2) Collect experiences rather than things, unless the things mean something to you.
3) Enjoyment is not the same as fun, not even close. (The show more section was adages like laugh more, point at rainbows, ride the roller coaster, join a trivia team, etc).

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From amazon description:

With his pioneering research, Corey Keyes put languishing on the map. In this powerful book, he brings it to life. Get ready to rethink your understanding of mental health, update your views on happiness, and come closer to realizing your potential.”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Hidden Potential

If you’re muddling through the day in a fog, often forgetting why you walked into a room . . .
If you feel emotionally flattened, lacking the energy to socialize or feel joy in the small things . . .
If you feel an inner void—like something is missing, but you aren’t sure what . . .

Then this book is for you.

Languishing—the state of mental weariness that erodes our self-esteem, motivation, and sense of meaning—can be easy to brush off as the new normal, especially since indifference is one of its symptoms. It is not a synonym for depression and its attendant state of prolonged sadness. Languishers are more likely to feel out of control of their lives, uncertain about what they want from the future, and paralyzed when faced with decisions. Left unchecked, languishing not only impedes our daily functioning but is a gateway to serious mental illness and early mortality.

Emory University sociologist Corey Keyes has spent his career studying the causes and costs of languishing—the neglected middle child of mental health. Now Keyes has written the first definitive book on the subject, examining the ripple effect of languishing on our lives before deftly diagnosing the larger forces behind its rise: the false promises of the self-help industrial complex, a global moment of intense fear and loss, and a failing healthcare system focused on treating rather than preventing illness.

Ultimately, Keyes presents a counterintuitive approach to breaking the cycles keeping us stuck and finding a path to true flourishing. Unlike self-improvement systems offering quick-fix mood boosts, his framework focuses on functioning well: taking simple but powerful steps to hold our emotions loosely, becoming more accepting of ourselves and others, and carving out daily moments for the activities that create cycles of meaning, connection, and personal growth.

Languishing is a must-read for anyone tempted to downplay feelings of demotivation and emptiness as they struggle to haul themselves through the day, and for those eager to build a higher tolerance for adversity and the pressures of modern life. We can expand our vocabulary for describing our inner experiences and deepest needs—and, with it, our potential to flourish. show less