Gayden Metcalfe

While I'm not sure how many recipes I'd actually make from this book, it is a hilarious look at southern etiquette for a particular occasion. This is for those of us who understand that when the deviled egg platter comes out, the immediate question that follows is, "Who died?"

Particularly amusing are the social strata of various Protestant sects, and their tribal recipes and behavior patterns. Methodists make "goo", dishes with condensed canned cream soups as a sauce. Baptists won't drink show more (at least so anyone can see them), but Episcopalians won't suspect anyone they know has a drinking problem "until they're actually on the list for a second liver transplant." show less

Years ago, I attended the funeral for my childhood babysitter. A next-door neighbor to my grandparents since 1945, Mrs. Baber was always eager to keep us. She possessed many talents like doodling on paper and gossiping on the phone simultaneously while my brother and I banged away on her sturdy upright piano. Only one rule was strictly enforced. We had to be quiet when As the World Turns came on.

It was a rather lovely service, loads of flowers and tasteful music, plus an enthusiastic new show more Church of Christ minister. As the minister spoke eloquently of Mrs. Baber I must have looked slightly confused. “Sweetheart,” my grandmother leaned over to me and asked, “Who is he talking about?” Our tears were a respectful yet guilty pleasure.

This is how I feel about the book, Being Dead is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide to Hosting the Perfect Funeral by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays. It is a guilty pleasure we all need to read. Had Mrs. Baber received traditional burial in the Mississippi Delta by a St. James rector, we may have missed the “nudge-producing eulogy” on page 30.

Although the title hints at advice for planning a funeral “to die for” it is really a “learn from our mistakes” and laugh book. Don’t be “caught dead” with lackluster flowers and dull dirges. Let the authors suggest a song from the “Delta Funeral Hit Parade” or staples for the well-stocked “Eternal Pantry”.

Recipes to enhance any after-funeral buffet table follow each chapter. Included are comfort foods like Healing Cheese Grits, Liketa Died Potatoes, and Tomato Aspic with homemade mayonnaise. If you are reading the book just for fun, don’t skip over the recipes. The authors have included fun jabs at the Methodist cooks whom enhance their specialties with canned soup. show less

Rating: 4.5/5

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into a perfectly executed Southern funeral, then "Being Dead Is No Excuse" is the book for you. Written with wit and charm by Gayden Metcalfe and Charlotte Hays, this humorous yet informative guide offers readers an inside look into the intricacies of Southern funeral etiquette.

From what to wear (always understated elegance) to the importance of serving the perfect potato salad, the authors blend southern traditions, humor, and anecdotes with show more practical advice. It’s a loving tribute to the culture of the South and the unique way Southerners celebrate (and mourn) life.

The book is filled with quirky tips on everything from the proper way to address the deceased’s family to what to expect from the guests and the best way to keep your composure (and your casserole warm). What really sets it apart, though, is its hilarious tone. The authors don’t just share tips, they share their personal experiences, making the book as much of a comedy as it is an etiquette guide.

For readers who appreciate Southern humor, charm, and a little bit of sass, this book is an absolute gem. It’s not just a guide for funeral planning, it’s a celebration of life, community, and the peculiarities of Southern living.

Whether you’re preparing for a family gathering or just looking to enjoy a good laugh, "Being Dead Is No Excuse" is an unforgettable read that is sure to leave you smiling—while also secretly taking notes for your own future funeral planning! show less

A Southern belle is capable of hostessing any function in a demure and lady-like demeanor and this includes the perfect funeral. This book's focus is mainly on the reception and food that are the focus after the service and these two gracious ladies are good enough to tell us all what is acceptable funeral fare and what is not. This is one of only three times that the good china and real silver make an appearance (the other two being weddings and christenings) and polishing the silver is show more considered a Southern lady's "grief therapy". What is served on the china and silver is freely commented upon, favorably or not, by attendees for days after the event. Tomato aspic is a must, as are caramel cakes, cheese straws, stuffed eggs, butter beans, fried chicken and 'Southern pate' (aka pimiento cheese). We are given a list of staples that every Southern lady must have in her cupboard so that a suitable funerary casserole may be whipped up at the drop of a hat, or body, so to speak. Hymns that are acceptable (i.e. those that do not cause uncontrollable sobbing, or have too many high notes for the choir) are suggested.

Obviously this book is written with a great deal of humor with tongue planted firmly in cheek. It is chockful of recipes ("to die from") and wonderful stories. The book is short and fun and is just one of several in the "Southern Ladies' Guides" that I hope to read. show less