Pauline Boss

In the preface, the author informs the reader exactly what she is trying to achieve. She says that this book “is not about how to give care (other books do that well); rather, it provides a new way to help you find meaning and hope in your relationship with someone you love who has dementia. The goal is to help you increase your resiliency for the long haul.” In the introduction, the author states that the “book is designed to be read alone or with a group. It is your guide for self-reflection as well as discussion with others.”

What I found disappointed me. The book was far too academic and abstract for self-help. If it was meant to be a “guide for self reflection,” then something was sorely missing. In my estimation, what the book lacked was the warmth of frequent real-life examples to make the abstract ideas come to life. Yes, there are examples interspersed throughout the text, but they are not nearly enough.

The book might serve as a good tool to promote focused group discussion. In a group, the shared experiences and feelings of individuals would go a long way to helping make the abstract concepts come to life and resonate in the caregiver’s minds in a manner that might induce a transformative process leading toward greater resiliency. Group discussions need structure and this book seems to provide an adequate framework.

My mother has dementia and resiliency was something I knew I’d lost. I eagerly pored over this book looking for anything that might help. In my opinion, the book was a total failure as a self-help book. I gained absolutely nothing useful from it.… (more)