DB King

The concept, characters, and overall story are interesting. It was worth the quick read. However ...

Putting this as politely as I can, the writing is largely bad. Some editorial fixes definitely need to happen, but beyond that, the overuse of similes and metaphors, even repetition of some of them, plus repetition of some words in back-to-back sentences (see how I just did that and it's off-putting? Yeah, this book is full of instances like that), plus the obvious plot devices and story formulas, and added to all that some flat-out low-quality writing, make this book a bit of a cringe at times. I nearly gave up at many points, but I pushed through since it was a short book, and I ended up being drawn in to the setting and wondering what would happen next to the characters, so overall I was glad to finish it.

It feels very much like a rough draft, or like a high schooler's writing assignment, with definite Gary Stu vibes that I didn't think I'd be irritated by until I actually encountered it in this book. The excessive handing out of rare magical devices, opportunity after opportunity to show off and grow his magic when he really had no idea what he was doing, illogical character behavior, cheesy and unnecessary romance . . . I am surprised that I can actually still say that I'm glad to have read it, after all my criticisms; but yes, there was some pleasure in it. The story idea had plenty of potential, but the execution was not handled well. I'm not sure that I'll read any more from this author, unless I find out that the writing has improved since this attempt.… (more)