Early Reviewers

Dr. T. Dookie Flushmore, philosopher and part-time porcelain rebel, has discovered what no one was meant to find: evidence of an ancient Joyless Wink Secret Society.

For centuries, these serious-faced fun-slayers have conspired to erase the history of bathroom humor, from the legendary wink shout contests of the 1700s to the suppressed teachings of Takashita, the porcelain sage. Their mission is to flush away laughter and replace it with silence, shame, and lavender spray.

But T. Dookie won’t let history go down the drain. Armed with extensive research and a talent for making even a dean of philosophy snort-laugh, he’s determined to reveal the smelly truth once and for all. Along the way, a cast of flush friends, a prankish fairy, and uptight couples will collide in a battle between dignity and fart jokes, propriety and porcelain prophecy.

Equal parts parody, philosophy, and bathroom stand-up, The Great Bathroom Humor Cover-Up is the satire you didn’t know you needed, an unforgettable plunge into why hiding the laughter might just stink worse than, well, you know.

Warning: This book contains toilet conspiracies, academic research with punchlines, and more bathroom puns than your dignity can handle.

At last, the truth behind the conspiracy to end bathroom humor, unclogged!

“This is much more than ‘just a bunch of fart jokes.’ Don’t let the crude humor fool you. This is serious scholarship wrapped in toilet paper. Flushmore’s work on comparative bathroom taboos across cultures is groundbreaking. Finally, an academic who isn’t afraid to stand up to the joyless winks and get his hands dirty!”—The Sophisticated Sitter’s Digest

“Dr. Flushmore’s masterpiece is a steaming pile of pure genius! His revelations about the Joyless Wink Secret Society will leave you flushed with excitement. A truly explosive read that doesn’t stink!”—The New York Wink Shout Journal

“OMBG! This book is the meal! Flushmore’s research into ancient wink shout contests had me rolling on the porcelain floor. Finally, someone with the bowls to expose the truth about our brownwashed history!”—Bathroom Literature Quarterly

“From ancient Takashita’s wisdom to modern wink shout suppression, Flushmore delivers the goods with academic rigor and toilet humor that hits every time. Warning: Don’t read this in public unless you want people staring at you for giggling uncontrollably.”—Rolling Stool Magazine

A Flush Friends Book

What exactly are flush friends?

Flush friends are living, intelligent, personified toilets who serve with honor and humor.

Are flush friends real?

Absolutely. They’ve been real all along. Humans just weren’t paying attention.

What is the purpose of the Flush Friends books?

The books exist to help people relax, make people laugh, encourage self-acceptance, lighten the emotional load, reduce the shame around natural functions, help people forget their troubles for a while, and remind everyone that life is more fun when we stop taking ourselves so seriously. In short, to make humanity breathe easier and unclench.

Do the books have deeper meaning, or are they just bathroom jokes?

They are bathroom jokes with meaning. The humor opens the door, but the messages teach vulnerability, acceptance, mindfulness, relationship honesty, and emotional freedom.