Loved it. Brilliant.

On the basis of a Jewish wedding, the Jewish traditions in an orthodox society are lovingly brought closer to the reader.
Chani is going to marry Baruch, but until then there are many hurdles to overcome, not only those of the bridal couple but also those of the protagonists involved. Rabbi Chaim and the Rebbetzin and their son Avrom also play an important role.
Chaim and Rebecca spent their young adult years in Jerusalem. Chaim to study the Torah and Rebecca to find out if the Jewish orthodox life is her thing. But the love for Chaim is stronger and so they got married. Thirty years later, however, she will question and regret this decision. Her son Avrom also fights with and against the Jewish rules. On the one hand he would like to break out and on the other hand he believes that he only feels secure in the strict Jewish rules.
Chani is one of eight daughters from a poor Jewish family. She has a mind of her own, believes that her orthodox faith is the only right one, but at the same time she wants to make gentle changes. When Baruch spots her at a wedding party, he knows he only wants her. But he didn't reckon with his mother. The Levy family is rich and therefore only wants a daughter-in-law from their milieu. So Baruch's mother tries to prevent the wedding, but she didn't count on Chani's resistance, who spoiled her soup.

I really enjoyed the story and I highly recommend it. ( )

Nice book. Young couple funny. Marriage of older couple very interesting ( )

What a gem! Absolutely marvellous and fascinating, and full of Jewish traditions and customs.
I wasn't aware that there are still Jewish communities in our time and day, and in London even, who are still observing all the rituals. I guess they must be ultra orthodox, and somehow, this is unbelievable, but the story rang true enough.

The narration was perfect. Toni Green either knows how to pronounce all the Yiddish words from experience, or she did an excellent job at researching them.
Either way, this audio book was quite an experience. ( )

Chani Kaufman ist hübsch, intelligent und hat ihren eigenen Kopf – nicht die besten Voraussetzungen auf dem hartumkämpften jüdisch-orthodoxen Heiratsmarkt. Schon gar nicht, wenn ihr zukünftiger Ehemann Baruch Levy sein soll. Baruch wird bald in Jerusalem studieren und der erste Rabbi in einer Familie erfolgreicher Unternehmer sein. Sie haben sich dreimal gesehen, sie haben sich noch nie berührt, aber sie werden heiraten. Chaim Zilberman und Rebecca Reuben waren auch einmal Studenten in Jerusalem. Heute sind sie Rabbi und Rebbetzin Zilberman, angesehene Mitglieder der orthodoxen Gemeinde Londons. Aus Liebe hatte Rebecca in das streng geregelte Leben an der Seite eines Rabbis eingewilligt – Sneakers gegen Ballerinas, Jeans gegen bodenlange Röcke und den Wind in ihren langen Haaren gegen einen Scheitel getauscht. Vier Menschen auf der Suche nach ihrem Weg, zwischen Religion und vermeintlicher Freiheit.

I’m hesitant to write a review for any book I read during COVID19 isolation, but the fact that I finished this book at all bodes well for it and leads me to give 4 instead of 3 stars. Reading has actually been difficult for me during this time, and I’ve abandoned or started and not finished so many books! This one was so intriguing. It drew me into a world that fascinates me and put me deep inside of it, feeling connected to the people and the culture while also seeing it from the outside. It was a unique feeling to read it and feel both included and yet an outsider, so kudos to the author for that. The book felt like an experience, yet deeply personal. The Jewish families and relationships, though part of a world I don’t know, shared universal human experiences through the lens of culture. Hence, the feeling of connection yet wholly other. It was a slow read at times, but that may be in part due to the real-world climate I’m reading in right now. The ending left me hopeful for one relationship but felt unfinished for another key character. Purposefully so, I think, but it feels up to the reader to consider how another chapter or future dot on her timeline would read. In that way, you stay connected to the book for a bit longer after you close it. ( )

A fascinating and exciting book. It exposed me to the figures of a community whose external appearance is different but whose internal expressions are identical. It is precisely the fact that this is a very closed community that attracted me, and the inner world of the characters, as the writer wrote in depth, that left me hooked until its end. ( )

I have very mixed feeling about this book. I really liked the two main story lines; that of Chani and Baurch, and the Rebbetzin and the Rabbi, as well as that of Avromi. I thought the author handled their developing relationships and their thoughts about their orthodox religion well. I found each storyline believable and totally engaging. I read this book very quickly because I could not put it down, I needed to find out how each couple's journey progressed. I did have a few quibbles; Chani did not seem to be much of a friend to her best friend, nor a nice sister, and there was a scene on a school outing that seemed written from the author-as-a-teacher's point of view rather than Chani's.

What I did not like about this book was it's one note portrayal of the Orthodox community. As an outsider it seems to me to be a stereotypical, one sided view. Every home but one is described a dirty, worn, shabby. Every woman once married is stout, worn out, gossipy, mean spirited, exhausted etc. Now, I am not a member of this community, but have lived in proximity to them, and have friends who have joined the community, and yes, some of them fit the description, some of them, well, let's just say there are $50 wigs and there are $8,000 wigs, clothing- same. There are gyms and spas for the Orthodox women in my city, mansions and ghettos. It did not seem true to her character that Becca, the future Rebbetzin would have a dirty, shabby home. That bothered me.

The writing itself was not great. Harris can spin a tale, but she need a better editor. She repasts phrases and descriptions ad nauseum, and many characters speak with the same voice. Final thought; in her acknowledgements Harris thanks her "frum friends" - I hope she is not surprised if they are not so friendly anymore~ ( )

Clever and satisfying novel about those curious, bright and rational individuals living within the insular, conformist world of Orthodox Judaism. Not easy for a young man or woman faced daily with inconsistencies, untruths and insincerity of this restrictive community to ask questions, learn the truth, let alone express their individuality, thoughts and desires. But not impossible if done covertly and with caution.

Marriage may initially seem like an escape from a too large and poor family, or from demanding, critical and domineering parents or older siblings, but with time it becomes evident that one may have jumped from the frying pan directly into the fire.

I believe Chani will soon see she may be luckier than most in her husband, and he with her.

Harris has done an amazing job of describing the individuals, the community, it’s rules, the questions from within and from outside, without being academic, boring, or disrespectful. Her writing is strong, fresh and inviting. And I love the twists and turns the novel takes.

I definitely recommend this novel to those who like to learn about different ways of life, and yet know that most people are more similar than different. ( )

Longlisted for the Man Booker? I can't see it. Perhaps this novel of Orthodox Jews in London and Jerusalem was appealing because the milieu was foreign to the judges, but I didn't think it was any more remarkable than others in the genre. The most unique part was the saga of a couple who met in Jerusalem as non-practicing Jews and became Rabbi and Rebbetzin. To see their evolution, or, more accurately, his, and her succumbing to the hard life out of love for him, was stirring. The second couple are 19 and 20 and decide to marry after the requisite three dates. As in any extremist religion, the women get the worst of it. ( )

An interesting, enjoyable read, and yet... Rather too much telling, not enough showing. For example, Chani becomes very attached to the Rabbi's wife: why? We barely see them together. Still, I would read more by this author. ( )

Eve Harris’s novel of life, marriage and love (and yes, they’re listed in that order for a reason) among the ultra-Orthodox of London’s Golder’s Green neighborhood is exactly as good as it ought to be—and that’s saying something, considering that it was long-listed for the Man Booker Prize.

What at first appears to be the story of one marriage turns out to be the story of two marriages: Chani Kaufman, 19, is about to wed Baruch Levy, 20, as the story opens, but through flashbacks, we learn that the Rebbe and Rebbetzin Zilberman, who are mentoring the young couple, have their own story of life, love and marriage.

Chani and Baruch have flouted tradition by selecting each other—no matchmaker here, just Baruch’s determination, matched by Chani’s, once his mother expresses her opposition. Overlaid with this modest move toward progressivism is the life of Rebbetzin Rivka—once the secular Rebecca—Zilberman, courted by the Rabbi when both were young in Jerusalem.

Harris’s use of language and setting add depth to a story that already has all the emotional resonance one could hope for, and it’s a good look at why exactly some traditional ways of life persist in the midst of modernity.

Reviewed on Lit/Rant: www.litrant.tumblr.com ( )

3.5 I knew absolutely nothing about the Jewish Orthodox culture before reading this book, so I could not understand many of the terms and words used. Thankfully a glossary was included at the end of the book.

Chani is a young woman, about to be married. All marriages in this culture are arranged through a matchmaker, and there are specific steps taken leading up to the event. The young woman are kept ignorant on exactly what is going to happen on their wedding night. Chain is a rather more spirited girl than many of her peers and she does not want to be married and to be tired out by constant pregnancies, liked that of her mother. Her mother has eight daughters and is overwhelmed, a feeling that pervades the life of the family. We are treated to Chani's thoughts and fears as well as those of her husband to be.

As much as I enjoyed the character of Chani it is Rivka's story that I liked even more. Her crisis of faith, the tragedies in her family and the heartbreak she felt all made her the fully realized character for me at least.

Very good story about the customs and faith of an unfamiliar culture. ( )

Despite the rather Regency romance-sounding title, The Marrying of Chani Kaufman is a thoughtful look at life among London's Ultra-Orthodox Jews. The bulk of the novel is set in 2008, as Chani Kaufman, the fifth of eight daughters of a rabbi and his wife, prepares to get married and start a family. Chani is unlike many of her peers in that she yearns to understand the modern world around her while holding on to her beliefs. She's too pert to be popular on the marriage mart, but just when it seems that she may not take, Baruch spots her and is instantly smitten. What follows is a battle of wills between Baruch, Chani, and Baruch's snobbish mother who has her own plans for her son.

Parallel to Chani and Baruch's story is that of Rivka, the Rebbetzin (wife of the rabbi) of Baruch's family's congregation. Neither she nor her husband were born to observant families but became so in young adulthood (her mostly under his influence). Now some twenty years later, she's beginning to wonder if it was all worth it as her marriage appears to be breaking apart.

The choices the two heroines make are interesting in their contrasts, especially since they both seem to long for the same kind of freedom from the restraints of their society. Highly recommended for anyone who enjoys well-written fiction with good plotting, is interesting in Ultra-Orthodox Jewish life, or novels with strong female characters. It's possibly the best novel I've read this year so far. ( )

I really enjoyed this book. Yes it's a little melodramatic and some of the issues other LT reviewers have had are valid. But I loved these characters and couldn't wait to see how things turned out. I thought the writing was strong and the plot moved swiftly- I definitely kept turning the pages. In some ways the story is familiar but I thought Eve Harris gave it some great twists and showed things can turn out OK after all- even if they don't always. Kind of on a par with Allegra Goodman's Kaaterskill Falls. Full review: http://www.bostonbibliophile.com/2014/03/review-marrying-of-chani-kaufman-by-eve... ( )

Nineteen-year old Chani is about to be married, although as a member of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community in NW London she has never so much as touched a boy before. The novel opens and ends with scenes from her wedding, whilst in between we learn about her and Baruch's 'courtship' (complicated negotiations involving a matchmaker and both families, because an Orthodox Jewish boy cannot just approach the girl he likes; in fact he's not even supposed to know who he likes as he's not supposed to look at girls). This is intertwined with the story of Rivka, the rabbi's wife, and Chani's mentor in the run-up to her marriage - Rivka, who hasn't always been the dutiful rabbi's wife with her wig and her long, modest clothes, her rejection of TV, the internet, her complete submission to the strict rules of her community, but who was once the joyful, exuberant Rebecca, back in the 1980s in Jerusalem when Judaism meant something different to her...

I enjoyed reading this, but it was never compelling. I learned a lot about London's Orthodox Jews, and that was fascinating - I made heavy use of the glossary at the back of the book (once I realized it was there!) However, I found the characters a bit flat and wooden, even Chani, who is meant to be exceptionally spirited (I did wonder, too, how this community could produce a wilful young woman who knew what she wanted and was happy to stand up for herself...whist being so ignorant in most things because of her Orthodox upbringing). ( )

From Jerusalem to Golders Green; hope and expectation - sometimes dashed and sometimes realised; interfering mothers, gentle unfurling love and a little understanding when others slip up.
A delightful book. Honest about the struggles of life and marriage, but also true grit and determination.
Great to read something different and also enlightening about another culture. ( )

The Marrying of Chani Kaufman by Eve Harris

This book has been longlisted for the Booker Prize.

I read The Marrying of Chani Kaufman on my Kobo. If I had bought the paperback it runs to 350 pages or 36 chapters. The only really frustrating thing about the Kobo version is that the Glossary is not part of the clickable dictionary but is a separate chapter at the end of the text. This does not make checking definitions of the many Jewish words and phrases easy and they are liberally sprinkled throughout.

The book is essentially about two Ultra Orthodox Jewish families and is set in two time periods - contemporary London (or near to contemporary as in 2008) and a generation earlier, much of which is set in Jerusalem. We follow the stories of about-to-be-wed Chani and her betrothed, Baruch as well as Chani's marriage guidance counsellor (for want of a better phrase) Rivka, the wife of the Rabbi and her son Avromi.

At times I became impatient with the writing which tended to be melodramatic and some of the Neighbours or TV-soap-like scenes which stretched credulity.

But by the end I had sympathy for the characters and was genuinely interested in how things turned out.

This novel introduced me to a world of which I was deeply ignorant and so for that I am grateful. But I did keep checking my progress on the Kobo which is never a very good sign for being absorbed in the story. ( )