I am so pleased to say I interviewed Arielle Ford for my book. She greatly added to the beginning part of the book on what to do to prepare for the relationship of your dreams.
In The Soulmate Secret, Ms. Ford discusses how to bring the person you want into your life by engaging the Law of Attraction. The way it works is that the Universe will bring you those things upon which you focus your attention.
If you focus on why you can't find a good man or woman, you will continue to have difficulty because the Universe wants to have what you focus on which is your lack of success in relationships.
Instead you want to take some of the steps I discussed in my article above and read Ms. Ford's book and put her suggestions into action. You too will be well on your way to manifesting your true soulmate.
In The Soulmate Secret, Ms. Ford discusses how to bring the person you want into your life by engaging the Law of Attraction. The way it works is that the Universe will bring you those things upon which you focus your attention.
If you focus on why you can't find a good man or woman, you will continue to have difficulty because the Universe wants to have what you focus on which is your lack of success in relationships.
Instead you want to take some of the steps I discussed in my article above and read Ms. Ford's book and put her suggestions into action. You too will be well on your way to manifesting your true soulmate.
I surprised myself once when I took part in a values clarification exercise. I always thought honesty was my number one value. I believe very strongly in honesty and integrity but what I realized after completing this values activity was that if push came to shove, I would choose kindness over honesty every time. The highest value by which I live my life is kindness. That is not to say, I'm right and if you would choose honesty or any other value that you would be wrong. It's simply to say that in my life, I have chosen kindness as my highest purpose.
Therefore, when I saw a book entitled, Loving-Kindness, you can imagine it caught my attention. I was not surprised to enjoy reading it. Ms. Salzberg takes Buddhist psychology and simplifies it to a way of living that resonates with me and I'm sure it will with many of my readers.
Therefore, when I saw a book entitled, Loving-Kindness, you can imagine it caught my attention. I was not surprised to enjoy reading it. Ms. Salzberg takes Buddhist psychology and simplifies it to a way of living that resonates with me and I'm sure it will with many of my readers.
This is an excellent book that speaks of the difference between power and force. Power is quiet and requires no explanation. Force is coercive and creates an automatic counterforce.
This has great applicability for couples, parents and bosses. Standing on the side of truth, justice and all that sustains life is power. This is strength of its own merit. Force represents all that is negative and life destructive.
Whenever you attempt to make someone do something that they don't want to do, you are applying force. We do this through any number of behaviors such as manipulating, blaming, guilting, bribing, complaining, criticizing and coercing. This always creates a counterforce. Whenever you attempt to coerce someone else, you create a measure of resistance. This resistance may not show itself in your presence but it will manifest in the world in some way.
People will undermine your authority, talk behind your back, rally other's support or confront you to your face. You cannot win with force. If you think you have, know that it is only temporary. What goes around comes around. Read the book. Its message is powerful!
This has great applicability for couples, parents and bosses. Standing on the side of truth, justice and all that sustains life is power. This is strength of its own merit. Force represents all that is negative and life destructive.
Whenever you attempt to make someone do something that they don't want to do, you are applying force. We do this through any number of behaviors such as manipulating, blaming, guilting, bribing, complaining, criticizing and coercing. This always creates a counterforce. Whenever you attempt to coerce someone else, you create a measure of resistance. This resistance may not show itself in your presence but it will manifest in the world in some way.
People will undermine your authority, talk behind your back, rally other's support or confront you to your face. You cannot win with force. If you think you have, know that it is only temporary. What goes around comes around. Read the book. Its message is powerful!
I can't say enough great things about this book. I LOVED this book. What attracted me to it initially was the subtitle--talking about being happy from the inside out. My avid readers know Inside Out Empowerment is all about an inside out transformation of your life. So, I picked up the book and read it in record time.
I loved it because Marci used research to make her point. She interviewed 100 people she determined to be happy from the inside out to learn their secrets to success. She then summarized those qualities, traits and behaviors into seven categories which she so clearly explains in this down-to-earth, easy-to-read book. She is a wonderful storyteller, sharing stories of the people she interviewed to make her points.
If you are serious about your own happiness and your effect on the happiness of others, then you need to add this book to your library.
I loved it because Marci used research to make her point. She interviewed 100 people she determined to be happy from the inside out to learn their secrets to success. She then summarized those qualities, traits and behaviors into seven categories which she so clearly explains in this down-to-earth, easy-to-read book. She is a wonderful storyteller, sharing stories of the people she interviewed to make her points.
If you are serious about your own happiness and your effect on the happiness of others, then you need to add this book to your library.
This is a book that generated mixed feelings in me. I definitely appreciate Ms. Ford's attention to the subject of self-sabotage but I don't agree with her assessment of our shadow sides. (Perhaps I am more in denial than I think.)
Ms. Ford does an eloquent job writing about the multiple ways we sabotage ourselves in our best attempts to do good and be good. I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled, "The Masks." In it, she chronicles the various masks our wounded ego wears to show the world who we want them to see. It will be difficult to read that chapter and not see the mask or masks of your personal preference.
What I didn't agree with was her statement that we have to embrace our shadow side and proudly proclaim how those qualites we or society has deemed negative actual serve us. Take nastiness for example. I may not want to admit any part of me is nasty. I want to always be nice, kind and good. So, when any nastiness surfaces, I attempt to keep it buried because I've decided it isn't good.
Ms. Ford suggests that we are equal part positive and negative traits. In order to fully integrate ourselves, we must embrace both sides. She suggests that nastiness might serve me well if I've hired a contractor to fix something in my home and he is repeatedly not doing the job he was hired to do in a competent manner.
Here is where I diverge from her thinking. Certainly, the majority of people, wouldn't fault anyone for getting nasty in a situation like that. However, I am show more personally on a spiritual quest. I have embraced the idea of transcending my ego, as Eckhart Tolle, David Hawkins and others discuss. This is my past. So, while I recognize that my ego has all personality traits associated with it, my preference is moving beyond ego to my spiritual self where there is only love and acceptance.
So, depending where you are at in your journey, I think you could find this book useful. If you are challenged by feelings of unworthiness and find you can't be authentically who you are, or you are involved in a lot of self-sabotage, then you may want to pick up this book. show less
Ms. Ford does an eloquent job writing about the multiple ways we sabotage ourselves in our best attempts to do good and be good. I particularly enjoyed the chapter entitled, "The Masks." In it, she chronicles the various masks our wounded ego wears to show the world who we want them to see. It will be difficult to read that chapter and not see the mask or masks of your personal preference.
What I didn't agree with was her statement that we have to embrace our shadow side and proudly proclaim how those qualites we or society has deemed negative actual serve us. Take nastiness for example. I may not want to admit any part of me is nasty. I want to always be nice, kind and good. So, when any nastiness surfaces, I attempt to keep it buried because I've decided it isn't good.
Ms. Ford suggests that we are equal part positive and negative traits. In order to fully integrate ourselves, we must embrace both sides. She suggests that nastiness might serve me well if I've hired a contractor to fix something in my home and he is repeatedly not doing the job he was hired to do in a competent manner.
Here is where I diverge from her thinking. Certainly, the majority of people, wouldn't fault anyone for getting nasty in a situation like that. However, I am show more personally on a spiritual quest. I have embraced the idea of transcending my ego, as Eckhart Tolle, David Hawkins and others discuss. This is my past. So, while I recognize that my ego has all personality traits associated with it, my preference is moving beyond ego to my spiritual self where there is only love and acceptance.
So, depending where you are at in your journey, I think you could find this book useful. If you are challenged by feelings of unworthiness and find you can't be authentically who you are, or you are involved in a lot of self-sabotage, then you may want to pick up this book. show less
This is a very quick read--only 142 pages. It is written by a guy who lost 140 pounds, without exercise. Basically, all he did was start really tuning in to his body. If he felt hungry he ate but he only ate until he wasn't hungry anymore. He didn't eat until he was full or beyond. He stopped when the hunger signals abated.
He also didn't forbid himself from eating supposedly "bad foods." Rob knows that when he has a particular craving, like many of us, nothing will satisfy but the object of that craving. I remember myself one time I was attempting not to eat chocolate. In my quest to not eat the chocolate, I ate my way through half my refrigerator and then ended up eating the chocolate anyway!
With Rob's method, I would have allowed myself the chocolate but only enough to satisfy my hunger.
As with most new information, I would recommend you read this book a couple of times. I know for me, while I was reading it and immediately after, I did really well only eating when I was hungry but over time, I began to drift back to older, established behavior patterns. I suggest you reread this quick book every six months or so. Let me know how it works out for you.
He also didn't forbid himself from eating supposedly "bad foods." Rob knows that when he has a particular craving, like many of us, nothing will satisfy but the object of that craving. I remember myself one time I was attempting not to eat chocolate. In my quest to not eat the chocolate, I ate my way through half my refrigerator and then ended up eating the chocolate anyway!
With Rob's method, I would have allowed myself the chocolate but only enough to satisfy my hunger.
As with most new information, I would recommend you read this book a couple of times. I know for me, while I was reading it and immediately after, I did really well only eating when I was hungry but over time, I began to drift back to older, established behavior patterns. I suggest you reread this quick book every six months or so. Let me know how it works out for you.
I found this book to be on par with John Gray’s Men are From Mars; Women are from Venus book. Dr. Eggerichs discusses the differences between men and women and how each needs to be more in touch with what the other one needs. When men attempt to treat their wives as they would want to be treated, they inevitably end up doing the “wrong” thing and when women attempt to love their husband as they want to be loved, they also do the “wrong” thing. If you are a Christian, you will be pleased that Dr. Eggerichs bases his book on Biblical scriptures. If you do not consider yourself a religious person, I don’t believe the scripture verses take anything away from the message.
Dr. Eggerichs mainly focuses on the woman’s need for love and the man’s corresponding need for respect. He says that there is a “Crazy Cycle” where when men feel disrespected, they withdraw their love from the relationship and when women feel unloved, they withdraw their respect from the relationship. In relationships where this cycle has been raging, it is difficult to find someone willing to break the cycle because he or she finds it hard to believe that if the husband is more loving toward his wife, she will respond with less criticism and more respect. Similarly, if the wife is more respectful toward her husband, he will respond with more loving behavior.
Dr. Eggerichs calls this the “Energizing Cycle” and he supports it with very specific behaviors each gender must use. He says show more women need C-O-U-P-L-E, while husbands need C-H-A-I-R-S. Yes, these are acronyms for spelling love to the wife and respect to the husband. All of what he says appears to be in line with what I believe is true of the majority of men and women in relationships.
The final section of his book is more for Christians as he describes the “Rewarded Cycle.” This is where he instructs couples that their reward for loving their wives and respecting their husbands is in heaven and a person really does it to serve God.
As a highly spiritual but non-religious person, I found the book to be very helpful and I think it is a great book for both men and women who are looking for some common sense ideas about improving their relationship. show less
Dr. Eggerichs mainly focuses on the woman’s need for love and the man’s corresponding need for respect. He says that there is a “Crazy Cycle” where when men feel disrespected, they withdraw their love from the relationship and when women feel unloved, they withdraw their respect from the relationship. In relationships where this cycle has been raging, it is difficult to find someone willing to break the cycle because he or she finds it hard to believe that if the husband is more loving toward his wife, she will respond with less criticism and more respect. Similarly, if the wife is more respectful toward her husband, he will respond with more loving behavior.
Dr. Eggerichs calls this the “Energizing Cycle” and he supports it with very specific behaviors each gender must use. He says show more women need C-O-U-P-L-E, while husbands need C-H-A-I-R-S. Yes, these are acronyms for spelling love to the wife and respect to the husband. All of what he says appears to be in line with what I believe is true of the majority of men and women in relationships.
The final section of his book is more for Christians as he describes the “Rewarded Cycle.” This is where he instructs couples that their reward for loving their wives and respecting their husbands is in heaven and a person really does it to serve God.
As a highly spiritual but non-religious person, I found the book to be very helpful and I think it is a great book for both men and women who are looking for some common sense ideas about improving their relationship. show less
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (Toltec Wisdom Book) by Miguel Ruiz
I love this book! It is full of wisdom about truth and love. Don Miguel contrasts love and fear masterfully. He speaks about an inability to change others. He says, "You love them the way they are or you don't. You accept them the way they are or you don't. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse." I love that quote!
Don Miguel says it is impossible to love another person until you love and accept yourself. He then goes on to say the "right" person for you will be the one you love just the way he or she is, without having any desire to change him or her. And likewise, that person will also love you just the way you are without wanting to change you.
He says "If you go into a relationship with selfishness, expecting that your partner is going to make you happy, it will not happen. And it's not that person's fault' it's your own." When you love someone, you want what's best for him or her even if that means they are no longer with you.
Ruiz is also an advocate of personal responsibility which is something I also teach. We have total and complete free will to do whatever we want to do. And when we exercise our free will, we must also accept the consequences that come with that. Everything we do has consequences. I think of those consequences as ripples. The consequences can be positive, negative or of little consequence at all but all actions create consequences. The way we choose to perceive those show more consequences is up to us but if we create them with our actions, then we must accept the consequences.
The biggest obstacle to experiencing love in your life is your inability to love yourself. You must begin a journey designed to love yourself and to remove all negative judgment of yourself. Then you will truly experience love. This book is a great companion on your journey to self-love. show less
Don Miguel says it is impossible to love another person until you love and accept yourself. He then goes on to say the "right" person for you will be the one you love just the way he or she is, without having any desire to change him or her. And likewise, that person will also love you just the way you are without wanting to change you.
He says "If you go into a relationship with selfishness, expecting that your partner is going to make you happy, it will not happen. And it's not that person's fault' it's your own." When you love someone, you want what's best for him or her even if that means they are no longer with you.
Ruiz is also an advocate of personal responsibility which is something I also teach. We have total and complete free will to do whatever we want to do. And when we exercise our free will, we must also accept the consequences that come with that. Everything we do has consequences. I think of those consequences as ripples. The consequences can be positive, negative or of little consequence at all but all actions create consequences. The way we choose to perceive those show more consequences is up to us but if we create them with our actions, then we must accept the consequences.
The biggest obstacle to experiencing love in your life is your inability to love yourself. You must begin a journey designed to love yourself and to remove all negative judgment of yourself. Then you will truly experience love. This book is a great companion on your journey to self-love. show less