I'm not rating this one. It's very clear that she's had an incredibly difficult life, from being born into The Children of God sex cult, living homeless, being raped/assaulted several times, having a partner murdered, and being in several emotionally and/or physically abusive relationships with men. As the whistleblower on Harvey Weinstein, I was interested to read her expose of Hollywood, and I can understand given her experiences why her brand of feminism is radical feminism, BUT this is not my feminism and I absolutely CANNOT condone her trans-exclusionary and transphobic stance, the comments she has made about transwomen, and her now infamous reaction to a transwoman at one of her book readings. Hence me borrowing this from the library rather than buying it, and not rating it - I didn't actually spot anything TERFy in the book, but I know too much about what has occurred outside it.

One of my favourite and most-read books as as child. Like Aesop's fables, but weirder...

Beautiful. Cried my way through the last few chapters.

Thought-provoking and moving. This should be required reading for ALL medical professionals.

Really enjoyed this one - very interesting to see what was considered fine dining in the 1920s. The liberal application of aspic to EVERYTHING provided much amusement.

I feel pretty conflicted about this one. It was exciting and gripping; definitely a 'unputdownable' page turner. As I read the first page of Part Two, I found my mouth forming a 'W' (for a combined 'woah'/'WTF?'). I was hooked until the end.

But... once at the end I felt uncomfortable, and on reflection I really do find some of the tropes used problematic. I've seen claims of the book being sexist, especially some saying it's sexist against men - Nick is painted out to be a weak and spineless cheat, and Amy punishes him without censure. For me the sexism isn't that simple. First off, the book flips the usual thriller narrative where a female victim is punished by a male perpetrator, which is a nice change. Some of the things Flynn writes lead me to think she believes in feminism, which again, is good. Both characters are flawed, so it's not a simple case of who is bad or good. However, this is hardly a tale of a female empowerment - Amy *is a sociopath*, which kind of discredits the feminist slant. Furthermore, the book perpetuates some negative stereotypes - the trope of a silly one-dimensional young girl getting naively embroiled in an affair with a married man, the idea that women will lie about abuse and rape in order to get their way or get revenge for being spurned.

Mid-way through the book I probably would have given this a 3 or 4, but thinking about it more, I'm just going to have to say 'it was ok' and give it a 2.

Loved her prose style.

Very sad, but brilliantly captured.

As a self-proclaimed 'food worshipper' I feel like I have just (fairly) had the mick taken from me... ;)

Although I didn't think this was up to the standard of Mean Time as a whole, there were a few in here that I really loved; namely - Virgil's Bees, Rings, Spell, Winter's Tale, A Goldfish, and Gesture.

You know how they say “When the student is ready the teacher will appear”? Well, I've been learning a lot of lessons over the last few years, but this book arrived back in my sights at exactly the right time. It's been on my wish list for a while, but after meeting the author at a conference and going to a valuable workshop of theirs on self-care and activist burnout, I knew I wanted to repay them by buying this... and it was well worth it.

I've just come out of a four year relationship which began just as I was embarking on a psychology degree, becoming interested in gender and feminism, learning about social constructionism, and during which I've been questioning my previously held beliefs.

The book covers our taken-for-granted rules about relationships, the ways in which these may be problematic and the alternative 'rules' which exist outwith mainstream society... suggesting that it may be best to hold all rules lightly, and to be flexible and in-the-moment about what really works for ourselves as individuals. Each chapter relates these thoughts to a specific topic - ourselves, attraction & body image, gender, sexuality, monogamy, conflict, break-ups and commitment. Some of the ideas resonated with thoughts I'd already had, and many were new and prompted deeper (and ongoing) reflection.

This is definitely a book I'll be re-reading and thinking about for a long time. It's had a massive impact on me and the way I'll go about any future relationships. Seriously, I show more think it should be required reading for everyone - even on the national curriculum! show less

Four years ago I set out on a quest much like the author's - after graduation most of my friends had either moved for work or returned home and I'd been happy to be friends with my boyfriend and his pals. When we broke up, I set out to make some new connections by various means - the most successful being setting up a social group for solo gig goers to meet up and go to concerts together. Through this I've made several friends who are I hope "lifers" (as Bertsche calls them).

Therefore, when I read the description of this book I was interested and was looking forward to seeing how the author's tale compared to mine. However, what I found was a very mixed bag.

So, first of all, the good. Much I could relate to, the nerves, the excitement, the comparisons to dating, and especially her finding that people don't look at you like you're a loony when you try to befriend them but are actually receptive and welcoming. I liked the optimism and it was a timely reminder that I need to nurture the friendships I've found and make more of an effort to maintain them.

As for the bad, whilst I found the findings from scientific research interesting and some of the tips helpful, as a psychology student I found it frustrating that none of these were referenced in footnotes, which made me question their veracity.

And the ugly? What I didn't like *at all*, were the sweeping generalisations about what women are like, what men are like, the implication that women have to have female rather than show more male friends (unless of course gay males), and the bizarre claim that your partner cannot be your best friend!

In the end, I'm glad I stuck it out and read it all, as it's definitely made me think about my relationships and made me want to put more effort in, and as such has been valuable. On the other hand, I never found myself warming to Bartsche and on the basis of the stereotypes she espouses (which made me want to hurl the book across the room) I cannot recommend this book or say I enjoyed it. show less

Gosh I wish I'd had this to read in my twenties.

Whilst often very funny, this is not as good as Burkeman's other book [b:The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking|17125974|The Antidote Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking|Oliver Burkeman|https://d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.net/books/1356478887s/17125974.jpg|19354514] due to its format - it reproduces his brief Guardian columns, meaning that each section is brief and tends to finish just as it gets interesting. Also, whilst he points out why positive thinking or self-help can actually make things worse using evidenced-based research, he doesn't always suggest evidence-based alternatives that *do* work and this too is better addressed by The Antidote.

Enjoyed this much more than I expected - a good blend of psychology, philosophy and journalism, that also backs up what I've been reading recently on the principles of dialectical behaviour therapy.

Enjoyed this more than I thought - I expected something self-helpy, but it's actually an overview of the philosophy of happiness, covering thoughts from the Ancient Greeks, Aquinas, Utilitarianism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Daoism, etc. Lots to ponder on.

Difficult one this. Some bits were great and helpful. Some bits were problematic and uncomfortable. When speaking about what he knows about and has experience of it was fine, but other times I felt he was writing about the unknown from a position of white male privilege.

This is mainly evidence based at least, and some of the research studies are interesting, but it does get a bit repetitive and could have made the same points in fewer words. Also there were some parts that didn't make sense when the author was describing studies - I couldn't tell if the author had misinterpreted the results or whether it was just written so strangely that it accidentally implied the reverse to the actual findings.

Beautiful.

This is really a long essay rather than a book as such, but interesting. Drawing together economics and psychology, it describes how we (individuals as well as nations) have been mistakenly pursuing wealth when we should be pursuing well-being, specifically sustainable well-being. It seems to have been written just as the coalition government took over and the optimistic bit about Cameron made me squirm, but that doesn't mean that the suggestions for improvements (5 for individuals and 7 for nations) don't hold.

This should more accurately be called "The Big Book of Quotes by Feminists and/or Women Liked by Feminists" as about half of the quotes had little to do with feminism. Still, many of the quotes were thought provoking regardless.

I was expecting this to be a collection of stories, but the edition I got only contained one fairly average story - possibly not representative of the full collection.

One of my favourite books as a child - probably contributed quite a lot to my love of the surreal. Re-read it today and still love it!