"The Best of Myles" by Flann O'Brien

The Best of Myles by Myles na Gopaleen (Flann O'Brien), published in 1968 by MacGibbon & Kee

The book opened at random at this bit and immediately sold itself to me:

KEATSIANA

It is a considerable time since I related an anecdote from the life of John Keats. Here is one at last.
   When the poet was eighteen he decided to make a journey to the American continent to pick up some of the potatoes that even the brazenest fraud can garner by lecture-touring. In Boston he met a pretty lady, fat and forty, but beautiful with the bloom of cash and collateral. The poet instantly laid siege, praised her expensive fancy hats, and called her his Dark Lady of the Bonnets. She accepted his advances after a fashion, but made no move to buy him a pair-in-hand, and would not consent to meet him anywhere but in the local park by day. Desperate with greed, he decided to stake all on a bogus offer of marriage. The lady's reply was peculiar.
   'Have you ever read the works of our great writer, Thoreau?' she asked.
   'Never heard of the lad,' Keats said.
   'Well, you are hearing about him now,' said the lady. 'I happen to be his wife.'
   'So what?' asked the poet.
   'How could I marry you if I already have a husband?'
   'Easy,' replied the great wit. 'Why not get a divorce a mensa et thoreau?'

OBJECTION

   The Plain People of Ireland: Lord save us!

Ah, muise! it's been a while now but when I was reading Myles it was some of the funniest stuff I'd ever read. I do miss The Brother...

Haha--it should probably come with a disclaimer "no actual memories of Keats were harmed in these writings..."

I'm in love with "In Boston he met a pretty lady, fat and forty, but beautiful with the bloom of cash and collateral." Such punchy joy of language.

Oh and "The Plain People of Ireland" chorus! I swear I feel they follow me around... :)

O yeah--I really should make an effort and get a grasp on the pronunciation of Irish words, I'm sure I'm mangling everything most atrociously.

>3 LolaWalser: By all means but don’t expect it to be easy. The fit between the spelling of Irish words and their sound is, to my ageing ears at least, decidedly loose. I worked in Ireland for the government for two and a half years, and never stopped being rubbished for not being able to pronounce “Taoiseach” (Prime Minister) properly. To my ear it sounds something like “Teayshock”. But no, however hard I tried good-humoured mockery continued.

ETA I have The Best of Myles and have actually read most of it. It invites dipping.

Oh, I wouldn't dream of aiming for native-like pronunciation--just getting in the neighbourhood of the right sounds, in my head, would suffice!

Taoiseach” (Prime Minister) properly. To my ear it sounds something like “Teayshock”

Ha, I actually looked this up back when, I noted it as TEE-shock (at least I think the stress was on the first syllable)--that's exactly the sort of thing I'm thinking about, I'd never guess anywhere near the correct pronunciation from the spelling.

The bigger fear is getting lured into Irish lessons, when I'm seriously running out of time for language maintenance... (+ more)... :)

>5 LolaWalser: Stress on the first syllable, yes. I decided that the spelling of modern Irish was created specifically to confuse Anglophones. Personal names are particularly difficult. One Irish spelling of the name that gets anglicised as "Patrick" is "Padraig", pronounced something like "Porick" or "Pordrick". The surname of a colleague in one of the Departments was "O Donncha". I never learned to pronounce it properly.

O dontcha wanna see the sun come out?!