March on .. .. .. March 2022

God's Mum: What do earthlings pray for, dear?

God: Millions of earthlings pray for immortality, to go to heaven and have everlasting life.

God's Mum: Where do they get their imagined idea of a heaven, dear?

God: They invented it for themselves. Everlasting life? For beings who don't even know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon?

God's Mum: In the bible, dear, when Jesus threw all the money-lenders from the temple, dear, why were there so many dealers there selling live animals, dear.

God: Because the "temple" carried out Blood Sacrifice on it's alters by killing the animals and splattering their blood on the alter. The priests said it was The Will of God.

God's Mum: Ugh! And this is the religion the earthlings are following to this day, dear? And they firmly believed that it was (and is) The Will of God? This is what they are teaching their children, dear?

God: * It passeth all understanding. *

God's Mum: Good morning, dear. Toast and coffee with a new jar of marmalade, dear. What are you reading and why are you giggling, dear?

God: Thank you. Some earthlings have a way with words that hits the funny spot.

God's Mum: Humans with that gift are very much appreciated by their fellows, dear.

God: This writer wants to know; "What do Bishops know about the ways of the world, man's destiny and God? They could tell you a lot more about big pointy hats."

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave god?

_{Credit: God's Mum©}

God's Mum: Do you think the world will one day be free from the influence of religion, dear?

God: I cannot see a time when it will be clearer to the earthlings that they are being taken for a ride by * The God Industry * than the present, can you?

God's Mum: There are none so blind as those who will not see, dear

God: There was a time not so long ago when the whole world was under the heel of religion. It is known as The Dark Age .. .. ..

God's Mum: I'm reading a fascinating book, dear. It says that if you make humans fear death, you have the beginnings of * The God Industry *, dear. Make them believe that if they do as you tell them they will achieve everlasting life in heaven. Then they will obey your every word. It's by Hiritaka Osawa, dear.

God: Very true. It is impossible for anyone to prove otherwise because it is nonsense in the first place.

God's Mum: Earthlings give big donations to * The God Industry * to make God pleased with them. Then the church has enough money to build big cathedrals and palaces while the humans live in hovels, dear.

God: It's an easy path. Join * The God Industry *, become a priest and enjoy all the advantages. Sneak your way up to Bishop and you will have a very easy and fulfilling life financed by other human's hard work. They know exactly what they are doing, their methods haven't changed for hundreds of years.

I don't make this stuff up.

Every conversation posted here in God's Mum is a genuine overheard snippet passed on to me by a willing helper who mows God's Mum's grass.

Sworn on Cardinal Pell's Holy Bible. Oct 2018.
See: "Come home Cardinal Pell".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin

* * *
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-60070132
Catholic Church clerical sex abuse. The BBC.

The former pope appears to feel that if he uses ChurchSpeak ( in vogue in the times of Moses), it gives his utterings credence. It does not, it makes them even more laughable.

Former Pope Benedict XVI has admitted providing false information to a German inquiry into clerical sexual abuse.

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

And it came to pass ~ "The firm belief that we have just this one wonderful life to live, with no here-after, is the only way to regard all of our fellow creatures as brothers and sisters."

_{Credit: Christopher Hitchens.}

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ Russian Church Leader Appears to Blame Gay Pride Parades for Ukraine War The Moscow Times.
https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2022/03/07/russian-church-leader-appears-to-blame...

Just when you thought * The God Industry * had thrown everything it could at the world .. .. .. It comes up with something even more unbelievable than the things in the bible. The above shows the caliber of the church leaders.

While you are there, please, please take a look at the stage-costumes these guys are wearing. Look at the archaic implements they are waiving about. Grown-up people take their children to watch this stuff.

Try to follow some of his * ChurchSpeak * . Is he making any sense? Or do you have to agree:

"The lunatics have taken over the asylum."

You just could not make it up, could you?

God's Mum: I'm still not happy about the bible's fishy story regarding Jonah, dear.

God: You know that if it's a bible story it is bound to be fishy.

God's Mum: If you were the type of god * The God Industry * talks about, dear, and Jonah offended you, what would you do, dear?

God: Personally, I would ignore him. If I must do something I would grab him by the ear, sit him down in my office and give him the facts of life.

God's Mum: The bible's all wise loving god puts him on a ship, dear. Raises huge storms that endanger shipping, wrecks the ship he is on and puts all the crew and passengers in mortal danger, dear.

God: The bible-story is as fishy as * The God Industry *. Do you think there is any hope for them?

God's Mum: A big pasta-bake for supper tonight, dear. Then I am going to sit and catch up on my reading, dear.

God: That's wonderful. What are you studying now?

God's Mum: It's another bible story I am delving into the depths of, dear. You see, it all seems so unlikely that two nations would allow a huge battle to be decided by a hand to hand contest between two champions like David and Goliath, dear.

God: Can you imagine two biblical armies even meeting to discuss it without killing each other?

God's Mum: Exactly dear. Can you just see Goliath being beaten and his army all saying, "Fair enough, you win, we lose." and all going home again, dear?

God: It is so laughable that only The Bible and * The God Industry * could put it forward.

God's Mum: Book of the Month. ~ March 2022. 💙💙💙💙

Letters from the Earth by Mark Twain
https://www.librarything.com/work/3381/reviews

There's nothing quite like reading Mark Twain that helps one to remember what American literature could and should be, but, unfortunately, isn't.

Mark Twain was the best America has ever produced. Satire as a literary genre might as well not exist today when compared with that of Twain. This particular book is a collection of perhaps simultaneously some of the funniest, most insightful, most uncomfortably true, and most challenging short stories and essays that Twain wrote.

Forget Colbert and Stewart; if you want real satire of the absurdities of the modern world and of the American people and government (still relevant, even if written a hundred and more years ago), this is the place to go. Forget Hitchens and Dawkins; if you want a critique of Christian faith and practice that is really relevant, challenging, and insightful, this, again, is the place to go. I recommend this book for those with a good sense of humor, a decent head on their shoulders, and a little intestinal fortitude.

💙💙💙💙 (4 Stars)

Credit: davidpwithun Sep 16, 2011

God's Mum: Democracy, dear. It shows that Humans can actually think, dear. And yet they still manage to even get that all wrong sometimes, dear.

God: Wrong? In what way is it wrong?

God's Mum: Only in the UK could there be 26 UNELECTED BISHOPS in the government, dear. These guys are making decisions that affect a population that is 62% non religious, dear. A bishop has the training of a 17th century monk, dear.

God: Just one more thing that is making Saint Boris so unpopular. Didn't the founders of democracy state: "In a secular state no religion or its leaders should have a privileged role in the legislature."?

https://www.secularism.org.uk/scrap-bishops-bench/

God's Mum: It is so unfair, dear. There is only a set amount of daylight available to the earthlings each day, dear.

God: Sorry, you've lost me there, why is that unfair?

God's Mum: The USA have sprung their clocks forward an hour this morning, dear. Whereas the UK will not do the same for another two weeks. That's fourteen hours of daylight the poor Brits are missing out on, dear.

God: I see what you mean. We'll have to think of something really nice to compensate them, won't we?

God's Mum: So when you called Abraham and said: "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you." What were you thinking of, dear?

God: Who? Me? I've never even seen the man.

God's Mum: It says here in The Bible that that's what you did, dear.

God: As an omnipotent God, why would I be interested in a 75 year old who still lived at home with his parents? Hardly a world leader, is he?

God's Mum: I take your point, dear. Anyway, dear, as a reward you changed his name from Abram to Abraham, dear.

God: Hallelujah !

God's Mum: Some problems in Oklahoma with the them trying to make the Bible the state book, dear.

https://www.oklahoman.com/story/opinion/2022/03/13/opinion-making-bible-oklahoma....
(If this link refuses to work, we suggest you copy and paste it into your browser to see it. It is a very good article.)

God: Good comment here from Judge R. Allan Edgar:

"Religious faith is a matter for private conscience, not state endorsement." In his decision upholding the Freedom From Religion Foundation’s challenge of Christian indoctrination in Rhea County public schools in Tennessee, Chief U.S. District Judge R. Allan Edgar, of Chattanooga, wisely noted: “A state-created orthodoxy puts at grave risk freedom of belief and conscience, which is the sole assurance that religious faith is real, not imposed.”

God's Mum: Further comment here hit's home too, dear: "The Oklahoma state house needs to stop attempting to foist Christianity upon the residents of the state and start working to address their real needs."

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church. 🌼

"Put it this way: the chances of there being intelligent alien life are, for me, infinitely higher than the chances of there being a creator god."

_{Credit: Tim Minchin.}

God's Mum: I see you laughing again, dear. And you've not even had your breakfast yet, what has amused you now, dear?

God: The earthling's House of Lords, part of the government in UK is going to have to change it's name to the House of Lords and Ladies.

God's Mum: That doesn't sound very business-like, dear. Why do you suggest it, dear?

God: The 26 UN-ELECTED BISHOPS who sit in the house in black and white drag-outfits, now have five women in their number. Even the Brit's government can't call them Lords, can they?

God's Mum: They don't appear to take advise or listen to wisdom on anything else, do they dear?

God's Mum: A Catholic preacher has called teachers "Devils", dear, because they discuss LGBTQ with pupils, dear

https://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/people/fury-as-priest-calls-teachers-devils-fo....

God: Yes, I saw that article in the Gosport newspaper, but Father Rosario M Banks was beutifuly dressed, wasn't he?

God's Mum: Not the point, dear. He made a video of his tirade, calling the teachers the most awful names, dear.

God: But his frock was so pretty in the video, all that embroidery down the front and the matching colours, lovely effect.

God's Mum: His church are trying to play his strong language down. Why do you think he is so angry about LGBTQ dear?

God: Did you see the hood on his stage outfit? And the sleeves where immaculate. He was so well turned out for the video, his dressers must have worked for hours to get it right, and the costs ...

God's Mum: Workers in * The God Industry * have fallen to a new low to allow preachers like him into the pulpit, dear.

God: Not a blemish anywhere. What an act ! the movement of his hands, the body language, his mum will be so proud of him. He must be one of the best-turned-out drag-queens the world has ever seen ...

God's Mum: I worry about USA, dear.

God: Somebody has to, what is the trouble this time?

God's Mum: California Secretary of State candidate Rachel Hamm (GOP) claims they found Jesus Christ hiding in a cupboard in their house, dear. Here's the clip, dear:

https://twitter.com/hemantmehta/status/1504615074497011715

God: Very illuminating clip. I am filled with admiration for the woman.

God's Mum: I know it takes all sorts to make the world, dear, but do you not feel she came across as slightly off-centre, dear?

God: Yes, of course, but being able to spout all that bullshit without bursting out laughing must take years and years of practice and self-denial.

Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass ~ In Jerusalem: In the year 35 AD, in the Cash Only Saloon, (Beer, Wines, Spirits served all day) adjoining the rear of the Holy Temple:

" I'm telling you now that if I catch the joker who wrote on the wall in the gent's:

FOLLOW JESUS
BECOME A CHRISTIAN
GO TO ROME
FEED THE LIONS

.. .. .. he will be crucified."

God's Mum: What a lovely day, dear. Would you like to sit outside and have lunch today, dear?

God: Wow! We haven't done that for some time, that would be wonderful, thank you.

God's Mum: No books, though, dear. You have been studying too much lately, take a break, dear.

God: I am reading up about the feeding of the 5,000 at Bethsaida. Which probably means that about 100 persons came to hear the speakers and were embarrassed to bring out the food they had stored under their robes when others had none.

God's Mum: Yes, dear. When the organizers showed they had a small amount of food and started to share it out, the individuals lost their guilt and began to eat what they had brought. It was a common occurrence of that era, dear.

God: But * The God Industry * and the Bible describes it as a Miracle. The Bible's "miracles" would not even be glanced at in the modern world. Any thinking person is able to see this clearly.

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

Put it this way: " The happiest nations on earth are strongly secular."

https://onlysky.media/pzuckerman/the-happiest-nations-on-earth-are-strongly-secu...

_{Credit: PHIL ZUCKERMAN}

Special Note:

From Feb 24 and 24th of every month thereafter, God's Mum will feature an item of ChurchSpeak. These are unedited passages from church leaders in such obscure church language that they are unintelligible to mere humans. A clear demonstration that * The God Industry * is unable to communicate in the real world.

Religion never intends to be humorous, that's what makes it such a laugh. 😎 - - -

📜📜ChurchSpeak 📜ChurchSpeak 📜ChurchSpeak📜📜

From Feb 24 and 24th of every month thereafter, God's Mum will feature an item of ChurchSpeak. These are unedited passages from church leaders in such obscure church language that they are unintelligible to mere humans. A clear demonstration that * The God Industry * is unable to communicate in the real world.

During an appearance over the weekend at Sugar Hill Church in Georgia, U.S. Senate candidate and former football star Herschel Walker made it clear that he was a Creationist by posing the most clichéd anti-evolution argument to an audience willing to accept it without question.

After explaining how Adam and Eve had to be real and how the Big Bang had to be a hoax, Walker riffed on the supposed irrationality of evolution.

…"You know, first thing I want to say is: We’re all sinners… Yeah, I’m a sinner. And we all fall short of the glory of God. So we first got to admit that we are sinners, that we’re not perfect, and we never will be perfect. But what you got to do is you got to always go after God’s heart, and know that Jesus live within you. And know that you are going to have problems, but you got to keep moving forward. You got to keep moving forward that life is okay, because as long as you keep the faith, and one of the things, it’s hard to keep the faith when you don’t see Him… or you can’t feel Him. You don’t hear Him sometimes. But He’s there.

Let me tell you the reason He’s there. Because, you remember when… He said “Let there be light”? You know, there had to be light, so somebody had to start it. Let there be light, because something had to be created here… So when the light was created here, that means there’s somebody up there had to say “Let there be light” that the Earth started. And then he had to put someone there on Earth. ‘Cause remember: Adam was there. Remember: Adam came there, then Eve came. So somebody had to start it out. So that means there had to be a God.

Because it didn’t just… some bomb blew up and it started out. And then I tell you something else I heard, and think about this, because at one time, science said man came from apes, did it not?… This is what’s interesting, though. If that is true, why are there still apes?

Think about it… No, no, no, no, think about this. We have an evolution that is, we’ve gotten so intelligent that, if that is true, why are there still apes? And then the conception of a baby. Let me tell you: The science can’t do that. They still trying to do it, but it can’t because there had to be a God."

Pastor Chuck Allen said nothing to push back against this lie because he also shares Walker’s ignorance. The only interjection he made was to tell Walker, “You’re getting too smart for us.” Which says more about the intelligence of everyone who attends that church than anything else you’ll find.
- - - -

Meanwhile, back in the real world ...

God's Mum: McDonald's are not giving up on the idea of changing The Lord's Prayer wording from:

"Give us this day our daily BREAD",
to
"Give us this day our daily BURGER", dear.

God: I knew they would be back again. Now that Russia is a NO FRY ZONE for McDonald's they have to try and expand their market elsewhere.

God's Mum: They have offered the Pope and his top Cardinals new sets of stage costumes, dear. Gorgeous purple gowns with pink buttons with even more embroidery on the huge sleeves, even bigger hats with gold trim and longer gold necklaces, dear.

God: The pope won't do it.

God's Mum: Of all * The God Industry * crowd, those Vatican boys do love dressing up the most, dear. With a huge financial backhander I think they will be tempted, you know what they are like, dear.

God: But the pope cannot afford to break his worldwide contract with WONDERLOAF. . .

God's Mum: What happens when millions of people in a given society stop going to church and lose their faith in God? Does that society descend into despondency and despair, dear?

God: Not according to the latest World Happiness Report, released this past week. ~ Based on an analysis of a host of sociological, economic, and psychological factors, the nation that is currently the happiest on earth – for the fifth year in a row – is Finland.

God's Mum: Finland; five years in a row, dear?

God: Exactly. Following Finland, in the top ten, are Denmark, Iceland, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, Sweden, Norway, Israel, and New Zealand.

God's Mum: These are the happiest nations on the planet, dear?

God: They are. And it just so happens that all of them are among the most secular/least religious nations on Earth. Aside from outlier Israel – which is growing more religious as it grows more brutal and undemocratic – all of these top-10 happiest of nations have experienced dramatic degrees of secularization over the last century.

https://onlysky.media/pzuckerman/the-happiest-nations-on-earth-are-strongly-secu....

_{Credit: Phil Zuckerman. 03/20/2022}

God's Mum: You spend so much time reading the topics and posts on LibraryThing, dear. Now you've got me following them too. Very interesting, dear. Why don't you become a member, dear?

God: I am a member of LibraryThing, have been for lots of earthling years.

God's Mum: But . . . . Don't you have to give an email address and all that nonsense to join, dear? And you can't call yourself "God", can you dear?

God: You have to choose a user name that no-one else has. That's not a problem, and even I have a laptop, mother.

God's Mum: So, what do you call yourself on LT, dear?

God: Well, my user name is ...

God's Mum: Just a moment, dear. Come away from the window where they are mowing the grass, dear.

https://www.librarything.com/topic/339947#7779827

🌼 Words of Wisdom you won't hear in church.🌼

Put it this way: ~ "If your God demands your worship - He cannot possibly be worthy of worship."

_{Credit: God's Mum©}

God's Mum: The man the bible calls Jesus, dear, could he have been genuine, dear?

God: Very unlikely. Probably an amalgamation of yarns about dozens of wandering preachers cobbled together over generations by unskilled, uneducated scribes. Preachers ranging from con-men to do-gooders working for food.

God's Mum: If we take the overall persona of the Bible's band of preachers and call it "Jesus Christ," dear, what do you feel he would think of the world in 2022, dear?

God: Firstly, he would not believe it was the same planet. Upon seeing the opulence of The Vatican, the cathedrals, palaces and huge churches of * The God Industry *, compared with the suffering of the weak and downtrodden, he would be appalled.

😎 Laughter is the best medicine. 😎

And it came to pass: ~ Then God said "Let there be light." And lo, there was light. And you could see for f***ing miles.

_{Credit Spike Milligan.}

- - - -
Thanks for being with God's Mum all the way through March. A new topic, "April time" takes over tomorrow. We all look forward to seeing you over there.