Pulps XI: the Saga Continues

Space pirates on a budget.


Lil' help?


Don't recall a story with Space Arabs


We have King Kong at home.

1. Which story is that illo meant to be for? It ought to be the "Knox" (actually Silverberg), because that ain't no dream boat.

Unless the chap is the dreamboat. Chandler did like boats a lot.

Not fancying their chances of getting the gunpowder to fire the cannonballs, nor the cannon fire doing anything but propelling them backwards.

2. Crosseyed man with pistol taken out by beetle taser. He's gonna drop that goldfish bowl. King Locust will be pleased with beetle.

3. WAY too orange, although Retief's outfit looks book-accurate. I don't recall any Space Arabs either.

4. Rip-off of Kong, which isn't quite as big as the original was. Also Faux Wray there might be more interested in the ape? monkey? more than in Mr. Handsy.

1. Aside from all other difficulties with the physics and science of this illustration, it seems so obvious that the canon fire would counteract the rocket momentum. What do I know though.

2. Is he stealing the bug's egg? I don't know. Think I'm siding with the bugs here.

4. "Hey! This is the Konga dancing club! You can't do the tango here."

>2 GSSex-noob:

#1. Okay, where did they find the space trees to chop down for the raft? If they're sophisticated enough to have cannon and rocket motors, why is the guy steering it like a fishing boat with a trolling motor? And with the vaguely-distinguishable emblems/graphics on them, he looks like he's wearing his fit-for-vacuum space-pajamas (spacejamas?).

#2. Goldfish bowl? I thought it was a giant snow-globe, the insectoid peoples' most valuable treasure. No wonder the taser beetle is so aggressive in the fight. Oh, and why does crosseyed guy have fur trim on his boots/capri pants? Background Guy is getting body-slammed by a couple of blue ladybugs and a mutant cricket, it looks like.

#3. Sure appears Machiavellian - "Yeah, I'll shake your hand all friendly like, but I'm keeping my space blaster pointed at you to keep you in line."

#4. She does look like she's trying to get away from Mr. Handsy, or at least get his hands off her boobs. Meanwhile, he's side-eyeing Konga like the gorilla just let a silent-but-deadly slip. Konga, on the other hand, wonders where the spare banana leaves have gone.

>4 Hammy_JLK:

1. If outer space can have cannons and rockets that work at the same time, they can get all the wood they need. Although I don't know how long they're going to make it with only one air tank each that are only about the size of their #bubble helmets.

2. There is clearly an overlarge goldfish in it. Or we would also accept it being the egg of the grasshopper monarch, which explains why the henchbeetles are so angry as to stab Crosseyed Man and Background Guy.

3. Maybe he's happy to shake Turtle Alien's hand, but is suspicious of Ridiculously Large Space Arab. RLSA does seem to be who the blaster's aimed at.

4. Maybe Konga's the Konga Club bouncer, about to toss Mr. Handsy into the next county for being a groper.

Hey, I think Background Guy is actually Background Woman. I turned my laptop sideways. Whatever their gender, their ass is getting kicked by the bugs regardless of any acrobatic talents.

>6 GSSex-noob: As I said, lil' help back here? Crosseyed Man seems oblivious. I suppose Taser Beetle is rather distracting, but I just find the way she or he is being manhandled by the beetles while C.M. seems to ignore them amusing.

Are those guys in blue suits carrying yellow sacks (pollen?) atop the pink building immediately behind them? Slaves of the beetles?

Re #3, Golden Baldy doesn't ring a bell either.

>7 bam2001: I'm not sure but what Crosseyed Guy isn't attempting to fire with a cordless drill.

>6 GSSex-noob: You're right, on closer examination, Background Guy is Background Girl with red hair in a clip or a hairband. I don't think her gymnastics training is helping much here, though it may lessen the impact of her landing.

>9 Hammy_JLK: Not sure if she's got enough height and speed to land on her feet and there are a lot of bugs coming her way. Still, I like her chances slightly more than Mr. Black & Decker Drill.

>10 GSSex-noob: Oh, of course her chances are better than B&D Man. His drill is smoking, which means something in the wiring has burned up....

>11 Hammy_JLK: Not to mention she might have proper stereo vision and if she can get some good kicks in on those carapaces or soft underbellies, it's probable she can take out some bugs with her wicked parkour skillz.

That and all the people carrying the sacks look like dudes, so she might have some sort of mental advantage against bug defenses. Redheaded ladies tend to be pretty smart and tough in pulps.

>13 Davidvisvot: Welcome! Is it as wacky as Florida Man?

Regarding #3: way too much orange, but that is an OK representation of Retief. He's always grumbling about the formal wear but wears it well, and would much rather talk than shoot it out, but he's prepared for anything.

>14 GSSex-noob: Sorry, but I'm sure that @Davidvisvot is a spam account (see the link)? He gets the dubious honour of having the first message I've ever removed as admin.

These are ranked in clear descending order of the covers piquing my interest in reading the contents, from most interested to least interested.

>15 haydninvienna: Ugh. Thanks.

>16 EndofDiskOne: I could not be less interested in Konga, that's for sure. A novelization of a movie with a lazy title from a notoriously bad low-budget studio.

Dear Lord, I hope that isn't supposed to be Michael Gough!
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001284/mediaviewer/rm2628990464/

My older brother and I used to watch the Saturday afternoon B&W Creature Features in the late 60s-early 70s, many of them AIP and Sam Arkoff. We kept up a running commentary years before MST3K.

So I have form in GSS' specialty.

I particularly recall how "Tarantula" was when he explained the square-cube law to me (with diagrams) to show how all those old giant monster movies could never happen.

>18 GSSex-noob: So how do you pronounce Michael Gough’s last name? I probably have been mispronouncing it in my mind ever since “Horror of Dracula” and “Horrors of the Black Museum.”

>19 TorMented: I think it's GOF, because that doesn't jibe with the spelling, so it must be true.

He often played bad guys, but not... (off to Wiki, checks movie entry)... good heavens, his character DOES do this! It's the last thing he ever does.* We do not learn what becomes of the damsel.

Alfred would NEVER!!!

Agog that my speculation up in comment #5 was correct.

Reviews at the time contained the words "ludicrously inadequate" "unimpressive" "deplorable" "guffaws" and "annoyance".

*Konga yeets him off Big Ben, apparently

>20 GSSex-noob: I've seen the "Konga" movie. It's a "so bad it's good" classic.
In the end, Konga scales Big Ben because King Kong scaled the Empire State Building. A crowd gathers to watch. Because they are British, they conscientiously line up on the sidewalk in orderly fashion instead of spilling out into the street.

>21 TorMented: Glad to hear it's not simply bad.

The queuing is so extremely English. The poster shows them fleeing in a mob; must have been done in the US. I suspect even at the time the movie was made, the Brits would have been a bit more chaotic, what with a giant ape clomping about in Westminster.

And you've got to give them points for being so bald-faced about copying King Kong and not bothering to hide it.

>2 GSSex-noob:, >3 MrsLee: I actually have a copy of that pulp. The cover relates to Calvin Knox's Delivery Guaranteed, the illo is completely consistent with the story (though it's probably 50 years since I last read it so I can't give chapter and verse); and yes, the protagonists know that the cannon will propel them backwards, because they intend using it for braking on final approach to their destination.

Still a laughable cover, though.

>23 RobertDay: This is great info! GSS!

I'm still not 100% sold on the feasibility, but it appears the artist read the story and Silverberg didn't flunk basic physics.

I've got an old Ace Double, with a "Knox" as half of it and got Bob to sign it. He was amused in that quiet sardonic way of his.

This was a funny thread, so GSS to all.

Also RIP to @MrsLee. I miss her wit.