Aim for the stars

Good Show Sir’s Art Direction: Jumpsuits… my friend… they are the future. Running, walking, swimming, investigating giant alien blob space ships with your laser ray gun… what can’t you do in one? Practical, unless you need the toilet…
Published 1979

Many thanks to Sarah B!!
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.39 out of 10)

Tagged with: Ace Books • aliens • BEHIND YOU! • Bob Adragna • booties • catsuit • cleavage • damsel • font problems • frickin laser beams • Haircut 100 • James H. Schmitz • jumpsuit • proportional issues • ray gun • tentacles
32 Responses to “Legacy”

A.R.Yngve Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:47 am

“Trapped on a hostile world, handicapped by one leg longer than the other, she fights for survival!”

Now, who can argue against including the handicapped in science fiction? Surely no-one.
A.R.Yngve Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:48 am

And have you ever seen a flashier ray gun? Looks like you’ll get cancer from using it!
Ae7flux Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 9:57 am

Our last Schmitz had Ursula Andress from Dr No. This one’s Raquel Welch from Fantastic Voyage. There’s got to be a Jane Fonda from Barbarella out there somewhere.
THX 1138 Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 10:02 am

@Ae7flux: You see Raquel, I see Erin Gray ditching those losers Buck and Twiki to play serious laser tag.
Tat Wood Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 10:12 am

@Ae&flux and THX1138: I see Farrah in ‘Saturn 3’, but she’s wandered onto the set for ‘Alien’ and has set her hairdrier to ‘Kill’.
Kripslod Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 11:57 am

That weapon she’s holding is intriguing. It has two sighting devices—an iron sight and an optical sight. It has cooling rings and discharges through a dish of some sort. It can’t be a coherent light weapon or else we wouldn’t see the beam from a near side view. She’s holding it steady with a hand on wrist posture so should we conclude that it has significant re-coil? I’m guessing it’s some sort of sonic blaster, or else, the world’s most powerful rapid fire marshmallow gun.
Bibliomancer Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 12:32 pm

egacu !?

Font Problems comin’ out the ying-yang! Someone please check and see if Tag Wizard is OK.
Tom Noir Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 12:56 pm

Hasn’t this cover been reused from the seminal sci-fi novel “Trapped in Ikea”??
RachelJ Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 1:56 pm

Notice the “original title”? (You may have to turn your head sideways.). This book was first published as “A Tale of Two Clocks”.
Tag Wizard Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:00 pm

Thanks for your assistance Biblio 🙂

Thanks to GSS my reference points for truly problematic typeface designs are now somewhere along the lines of Sun Burst and The Cyberaid and The case of the Toxic Spell Dump.

And, to a lesser extent, Nevèryóna
A.R.Yngve Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Did you know there are other books out there with near-invisible “Original Title” tags? Let’s examine them with the ol’ magnifying glass:

ENDER’S GAME By Orson Scott Card
(Original Title: “Exterminate Those Buggers, Kill Them All, Incinerate Them! Before They Have A Chance To Marry”)

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY By E.L. James
(Original Title: “My New Twilight FanFic”)

STARSHIP TROOPERS By Robert A. Heinlein.
(Original Title: “What The World Will Come To If We Stop Spanking Our Children – A Lecture”)

THE HOBBIT Or There And Back Again By J.R.R.Tolkien
(Original Title: “THE HOBBIT – A Book For Children”)
FeärofMusïc Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 2:47 pm

Man oh man, now that’s a serious case of sunburn. A tight outfit like she’s wearing, that’s gotta hurt. That’ll teach her to go on holiday before being sent to a hostile world.

TagWiz:As much as I would like to respond to your proposition at ‘By the Sword’, apparently I shall not be allowed to do so. The fine GSS server has forbidden me from posting an answer. Thusly, No Velvet For You, good sir.
HappyBookwyrm Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:07 pm

Unless those blobby things are her friends, you think she’d be firing in the other direction. This is not an isolated case of a cover where all sorts of craziness is going on and the person/people are *not* looking at it.

Also, I kind of wish they left the title as “A Tale of Two Clocks” so we could really wonder. Because nothing says “clocks” or “Time themed novel” like tentacles and a super-haired woman with a ray gun.
FeärofMusïc Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:21 pm

For some reason I get the feeling that the artist spent most of the time in Life Drawing 101 practicing his signature.
Bibliomancer Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:21 pm

@Tag Wizard — I understand that the dark arts of tagwizardry are beyond the ken of a mere bibliomancer.

But perhaps you can share with me the deep thoughts behind bestowing “font problems” status to yesterday’s cover.
GSS Admin Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:38 pm

@bibliomancer – I have to admit… t’was I who added the font problems tag! Mainly because of the colour choice. The deep thought I had after that mainly involved coffee… and renting a dvd from your excellent Chinese GSS site!
Bibliomancer Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 3:44 pm

@GSS Admin — Ha Ha! Better to leave such important technical decisions to your staff expert. Meanwhile, help yourself to a couple of blue pillz from the CGSS site. There is a link for free samples on there somewhere. 🙂
B. Chiclitz Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 4:52 pm

Is it me or does she have rather large . . . feet?
Maybe to compensate for the different sized . . . legs?
B. Chiclitz Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 4:58 pm

Are those giant alien molars on the ground?
Tag Wizard Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 5:55 pm

@Monsieur B.Chiclitz – Having not read the book, B, I am still confident that her feet are appropriately proportioned for navigating alien craft. That right leg is just dang strange though. Perhaps deceptively sized limbs are this artist’s equivalent of a pet cat reference.

@Bib – au contraire my dear fellow, I’m sure you’d do a bang up job as Taglomancer

@F̦M Рis the GSS server bouncing your email or blocking your comments? Was it the 4K resolution image attachment wot broke it? Hmm. HMMMMMMMM.
fred Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 6:12 pm

Leg proportions? I’m staring at the different heights on her boot heels and wondering how she can possibly walk 10 ft. without toppling over from back/hip/knee/ankle injuries.
FeärofMusïc Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 6:31 pm

@TagWiz : No, milord. I believe twas fear of the mightiness and sheer awe of the King which caused said rejection. Clearly the server is an Anti-Elvisonian.
Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 7:42 pm

‘And you may say to yourself…take it little buddy!‘

‘This is not my beautiful house! And you may say to yourself…’

‘This is not my beautiful wife! Everybody now!’

‘…’

*hem hem*

‘…can’t you see I’m busy here?’

‘everybody now! Letting the days go by! Let the water hold me down!‘
B. Chiclitz Says:
October 3rd, 2013 at 11:49 pm

She has man feet!
A.R.Yngve Says:
October 4th, 2013 at 9:13 am

Dental Assistants IN SPAAAAACE….!
Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
October 4th, 2013 at 6:13 pm

Scene from Carry On Amoeba, starring Trigger Argee as Matron.
A.R.Yngve Says:
October 6th, 2013 at 8:59 am

Alternate blurb:
“If You Buy This Book For The Cover Alone, This Picture Is The Closest You’ll Ever Come To A Real Woman”
Stevie T Says:
October 10th, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Ah, another reference to that towering work, “THE WITCHES OF KARRES”…A book that until recently I had never heard of before. If you’re going to use a previous book to advertise your current one, shouldn’t it be a book that is at least relatively well-known?
Anna T. Says:
August 27th, 2015 at 3:38 am

Who else here thinks her gun looks like a lightsaber?
anon Says:
August 27th, 2015 at 7:50 am

@B.Chiclitz: Nevermind the feet. What about the crotch bulge?
RachelJ Says:
August 29th, 2015 at 4:16 pm

@Stevie T. Ah, but I’m pretty sure “The Witches of Karres” *was* well known back when this was published. Fame is fickle…
Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:
August 29th, 2015 at 6:49 pm

@Stevie, Rachael: Although that raises the question of why they had to retitle this book from A Tale of Two Clocks.