Ephemera, or This Thread Will Self-Destruct In 7 Days

Hi, this thread sprang forth from a comment JP made earlier. For reasons too stupid to go into here, i can only make a total of 0 (yay!) posts until the end of February. That is, unless i delete my posts. So, for the rest of the month, i will be making one post a day here. Each day i will delete the previous post, and replace it, thereby maintaining my precious, precious post count.

Does this mean that this post will be meaningful, profound, life-changing? No. Far from it. But it will change every 24 hours. Trust me.
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I am reposting this thread while dancing around the living room in a pink tutu.

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours. Or maybe i'll leave it here.
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Postscript: Let's see you guys repost this now, ha ha ha.

I think you should answer the phone like that all the time. Especially when you are at work.

LOL! Maybe we should at least copy the funny portions of his message before they self destruct. That way, MrA will also get a good feedback about what we like in his posts!

The trick will be for one of us to post his pearls of wisdom wit before the message self destructs.

This could be a really fun game!

#1: Wow, that is so much better than when I answer my home phone the way I answer the work phone.

#3: Brilliant idea, you do the first one so we can see how it works!

LOL MrA.

Ok JP did you mean like this...

This was posted by MrA on February 21st, 2009 at 6:24 LT time....

Hi, this thread sprang forth from a comment JP made. For reasons too stupid to go into here, i can only make a total of 5 posts until the end of February. That is, unless i delete my posts. So, for the rest of the month, i will be making one post a day here. Each day i will delete the previous post, and replace it, thereby maintaining my precious, precious post count.

Does this mean that this post will be meaningful, profound, life-changing? No. Far from it. But it will change every 24 hours. Trust me.
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Today, while i was reading MsDonna's latest Twilight group post, the phone rang. Instead of my usual sensible answering style, i answered it "Twilight Fan Club. Andrew speaking.". Silence. Pause. Click. They hung up! I stared at the phone for awhile, then rang around the people that may have called us. Nothing.

No idea who it was. Hopefully it was a telemarketer, or a wrong number. Maybe a Twilight Hater. I guess we'll never know.

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours.
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*claps and whistles*

Exactly Ron! Now we have a record of his message even after he deletes it!

We don't have to always post his entire message. You can just post the good parts. In fact, it might be fun to edit him. *wonders what evil MsDonna will do with that idea*

ahhh, MrA, make a bet with JP or something?

7> Oh that would be fun.

Why I would never do anything like that. *looks shocked that her face can never hide a lie*

kik MsD. And MrA, that is a great way of answering the phone!

MrA edited his first post to add:

Postscript: You people are all weird. Ron, JP said to post the funny parts. So your post should look something like this:

----------------------
Friday 20th Feb:
...

Which was pretty funny! I took the liberty of italicizing it. Everything looks prettier in italics!

MrA: Another way to minimize your post count is to spend all of your time in the chat room.

Very smart compski...why didn't I think of that?

Are you trying to set a goal of 424 posts this month as well, pico?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! This is brilliant!!

#15 JP: Huh?

So this is why it's been so quiet around here. :P~~

#17-A joke. (bad one I guess) MrA is doing this to avoid overposting. He wants to have the same post count, 424, as he did last month. ;o)

So I've been out of the loop but as of today Post #1 (MrAndrew) says:
Ok you smurfing smurfs, why don't you just take your smurfity smurfs and smurf them where the smurf don't smurf. If i've ever seen a bigger bunch of smurfs in all my life, you can just smurf my ever-living smurf. Smurf you very much.

And post #2 (foggidawn) says:
I think you should answer the phone like that all the time. Especially when you are at work.

That in itself makes for a pretty funny conversation!

I can't wait till tomorrow when he changes smurf to banana!

Wow I love seeing what mischief you all have created when I've been gone. This is splendid.

Here's the post I see today:
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Ok you bananing bananas, why don't you just take your bananary bananas and banana them where the bananas don't...

OK, that's enough of the potty talk. Today i bought a non-environmentally sound bottle of water that had a picture of this on it:

_insert picture above here_

This has to be the.greatest.idea ever! All this time, i've been concerned about the unfairness posed by the existence of children. We look after them, feed them, clothe them, and all they do for 14-20 years is eat, sleep, poop, cry and play. If a business venture required this sort of investment before returning a single dime, you'd sell up in 12 months. And it's not like they don't have energy - a bag of lollies and they are running around for hours.

Now, at last, a way to harness that meaningless, wasted energy! All we have to do is relocate all park play equipment close to power plants, reconfigure them to generate electricity, and channel it into capacitors. Viola! Clean, cheap, abundant electricity.

Now to focus on pets. Any ideas on how to transfer static electricity generated by stroking cats?

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours.
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Postscript: ha ha, two days worth of posts slipped through the net (between posts #5 and #20). In case you're wondering, here's what you missed:

1) I condensed the meaning of life into 25 words.
2) I demonstrated how to draw a perfect circle, freehand.

These posts might be repeated at a later date. But it's unlikely.

It's unclear to me what violas have to do with the rest of the post. But I'm intrigued in how they might help energetic children create clean energy. Perhaps by giving them music to move to? Though I would think that just about any other instrument would be better suited to such an enterprise.

I love this thread.

Regarding transferring static electricity from a cat, you clearly haven't seen this YouTube video, MrA. ;)

Cute video K. I think MrA wanted to harness the power of kitty static though.

And in my opinion, violas are much better than violins. No offense to the violinists watching.

I guessed as much but I suspected it was to shock Donna so I didn't want to give advise. ;)

That MrAndrew seems like a real twork. I'm glad he's not posting anymore.

Apparently MrA feels like Shaft today. I'm sorry MsD! Here it is:

dikadikadikadikadikadika...

Who's the black private dick
That's a sex machine to all the chicks?
MrA!
Ya damn right!

Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
MrA!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
MrA!
Right On!

They say this cat MrA is a bad mother-*SHUT YOUR MOUTH!*
I'm talkin' 'bout MrA.

Then we can dig it!

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
MrAndrew!

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours. Thank heavens.

"But no one understands him but his woman"

I think I would like Donna to verify this line. Do you understand him, MsD? And does this worry you at all? I know my husband gets very scared at those flashes of understanding my mind. Luckily, he doesn't understand me too often. Just nods and smiles.

#30 - um am I meant to understand him? *very worried if I'm meant to*

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him, not even his woman
MrAndrew!


Can you dig it?
Right on!

From MrA today:
___________________________
Hi, this thread sprang forth from a comment JP made earlier. For reasons too stupid to go into here, i can only make a total of -2 posts until the end of February. That is, unless i delete my posts. So, for the rest of the month, i will be making one post a day here. Each day i will delete the previous post, and replace it, thereby maintaining my precious, precious post count.

Does this mean that this post will be meaningful, profound, life-changing? No. Far from it. But it will change every 24 hours. Trust me.
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So, a wizard, a vampire and a pirate walk into a bar...

hello? Is this thing on?
*taps mike*
So, is anyone here from Hogsmeade? What a great town!

I just flew in from Phoenix, and boy is my broom tired!

Thank you, thank you very much! I'll be here until Saturday. Try the morningstar veal!

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours. Unless i get run out of town first.

________________

I especially like the touch or his number of posts that he has to go.

I missed the post number thing! How did it get to -2? Has he been posting in the Kaiser Wilhelm group?

KIK! Morningstar Veal! *snort*

Yes, I agree, bib. It's very cruel. I refuse to eat morningstar veal. Or morningstar pate.

>#34: Sometimes he forgets who he is signed on as. Just wait until he has three accounts (i'm thinking the next one should be called "Bob").

On February 28th, MrA posted the following:

Hi, this thread sprang forth from a comment JP made earlier. For reasons too stupid to go into here, i can only make a total of 0 (yay!) posts until the end of February. That is, unless i delete my posts. So, for the rest of the month, i will be making one post a day here. Each day i will delete the previous post, and replace it, thereby maintaining my precious, precious post count.

Does this mean that this post will be meaningful, profound, life-changing? No. Far from it. But it will change every 24 hours. Trust me.
----------------------------------------...

I am reposting this thread while dancing around the living room in a pink tutu.

This post will self-destruct in 24 hours. Or maybe i'll leave it here.
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Postscript: Let's see you guys repost this now, ha ha ha.

</i>>#37 Espeon200: I am reposting this thread while dancing around the living room in a pink tutu.

Really? Interesting.

>#38 Mysterion:I am reposting this thread while dancing around the living room in a pink tutu.

I'm glad you have embraced your inner ballet dancer. Does MsDonna know you're doing this?

#37 - Yeah lucky me, aren't husbands meant to do stuff like that when their wife is out?

You're married to Mysterion?

*gasp* It's like a soap opera!

But wait! Mysterion is actually...your brother!

dum dum dah!

Passes popcorn around to the people watching the soap opera taking place on this thread...

43- MrsG's brother? Wow, what a plot twist!

cue the organ music

#45- I didn't see that coming.

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Mr. Andrew, it may be March in Australia, but it is not in LT time. I am worried about your post count!

My brother? But my brother died in the fire 3 years ago.....*close up on MrsGs face and dramatic music*

No! He didn't die! He faked his death and ran away to South America. He has been living in a isolated shack with a surprisingly well-equipped medical laboratory, deep in the Amazonian rainforest. He has been working on a cure for the mysterious illness that struck down his fiancé (who has been in a coma for the last seven years).

>#49: What are you talking about? *looks out window* Sure it's March. *checks post date* See - "Today". It's today. Sunday 1st March.

What....why Mysterion why? Why did you lie to me?

DrMrAndrew walks in and places a reassuring hand on MrsG's shoulder

It's not his fault, Mrsgrinch. You see, he is suffering from... amnesia!

da da dummmm!

No......No. *Falls to knees* But how could he forget me? After our parents died al we had was each other...he...was.....my..my best friend! How can this be?

MrsGrinch! Your parents have been found! They didn't die in that tragic zepplin accident after all!

JP is sitting on her hands to avoid posting, and says that you are all being funny on purpose to make her post. But, she says, she will not post for another four hours, no matter what you do, MrA. She can hold out (as long as I am here to post for her).

Coises! My evil plan is foiled! *twirls moustache dramatically*

Coises? Oh... now I get it. At first I thought you were talking about some type of tea cozy.

JP says: In four hours, I'll get you, Dastardly Dan!

drama! drama! drama! Should we have a commercial break?

Ack! But this is the best part!I need to know what happens next! Now!

My parents they are alive??? I must go find them!

*She runs across the street and gets hit by a bus*

Narrator:We will return to "The Tears of The Pheonix" after these words from our sponsers.

Wait... is this transmido en Espanol en SAP?

"The Tears of The Phoenix" (Los rasgones de la Phoenix stop laughing Ron) is brought to you by Espeon Large-Font Books.

Is increasing your comfortness something that is important very much to you? Try Espeon Large-Font Books. Increasing the comfortness since 2008.

And now, we return you to "The Tears of the Phoenix".

*MrsG wakes up in a hospital bed with a bandage around her head*

"Where...where am I?"

Dr Donna enters the room

"You're in hospital, you've been in an accident. You're a very lucky young woman because you were nearly hit by a bus, but this young man managed to push you out of the way before the bus hit you. Unfortunately he pushed you into the path of a bicycle courier and you bumped your head on the side walk."

(a good looking young man wearing an eye patch enters the room and smiles at Mrs G)

"When you arrived at the hospital you didn't have any identification on you, what is your name?"

"I...I...don't know."

Dr Donna and the young man stand near the door whispering to each other.

(Dr Donna approaches MrsG and says)

"I was afraid this was going to happen. Prepare yourself for a shock, you have amnesia."

(meaningful glances are exchanged between Dr Donna and the man with an eye patch nods)

"That's not all, this young man is in fact"

(the young man steps forward toward the bed and interrupts Dr Donna. He tells Mrs G ")

*but MrsG falls unconsious on the bed before she can be told the news*

"I am a pirate"

*MrsG awakes once again, but this time she is in what seems to be an old warehouse*

"Whats happening? Where am I? Where did the pirate go?"

Oh no! MrsG has been kidnapped! Can this be the work of the dastardly mutton-chop wearing villain of this story - Professor Cyclops?

*bites nails nervously*

*shares popcorn with kirby*

Meanwhile back at the hospital Dr Donna has two visitors. They're asking where their daughter is?

Dr Donna tells them
"well there was a young girl bought into the hospital after an accident, but we discharged her to the care of her uncle. His name was Dr Uncle Cyclops. She seemed to recognise him so we didn't think anything of it. He told us that her parents had been killed and that he was her only living relative..."

*Back at the warehouse*

"Hello? Hello? Is anyone there?"

*All of a sudden a voice somes from the distance*

"Hahaha. Finally I have got you right where I want you!"

#63: ROFLMAO!!! Can't stop laughing hahahahahahaha..... Los Rasgones de Phoenix ...hahahahahaha....this is great TV people LOL ;)

ETA: I think it would have been better Las lágrimas de Phoenix because I wouldn't understand why Phoenix would be torn....

Yes well, i was wondering about that. I figured "tears" could be translated two ways.

Perhaps the phoenix was torn as to whether to watch this drivel or not.

*returns to sofa to find out what happens to poor MrsG*

polly sits down on sofa with plate of cookies and munches mindlessly while staring at the screen
tears of sympathy trickle slowly down her cheeks

"Who are you?"

"But Grinchy you have known me your whole life" The voice calls out.

*Out of the darkness walks Mysterion!*

"Hey MrsG"

MrsG is overwhelmed by the sound of her brother's voice as well as his formality. The scene blurs and is replaced by one of a happy childhood, where MrsG is being tossed in the air by her brother, Mysterion. The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the grass is greener than green. The happy young Grinchy giggles as her brother catches her and tosses her into the air again.

Then dark clouds cover the sun...

*gasp!* Mysterion is the evil Professor Cyclops?

*eats more popcorn*

...and the scene morphs back into the ware house.

"Mysterion what...whats happening?"

(You happy to be able to chime in now jp?)

gee you guys, this is just beautiful...

*joins everyone on sofa for popcorn.*

Mysterion grins an evil grin.
You may not remember me, MrsGrinch, but I am Dr Uncle Cyclops, Mysterion's half-twin brother!!!!

Mwa-hahahahahaha!

half-twin? how can you be a half-twin? Isn't that like being a little pregnant?

Dr Donna enters the warehouse. A misty scene of Doctors and Scientists bustling around an operating room is seen in flashback by Dr Donna and she tells Mrs G.

"It is possible to be a half twin. When Dr Uncle Cyclops and Mysterion's mother was first pregnant she had one of her already fertilised eggs removed and the DNA from your father was removed, and the DNA from Dr Uncle Cycop's father was injected into the already fertilised egg." One of the eggs was implanted in a surrogate Mrs G's grandmother.

So yes, Mysterion is your brother and Dr Uncle Cyclops is your Uncle. Dr Uncle Cyclops and Mysterion are half twin brothers and Dr Uncle Cyclops is also Mysterion's Uncle.

We now know that the evil gene was implanted from both fathers as DR Uncle Cyclops is the EVIL TWIN.

oooooh!

Actually, he is only a half-evil half-twin. You can tell by the half-moustache.

Las Lágrimas de Phoenix, now with 50% more science.

To Dr Uncle Cyclops "Why have you brought me here? Where is Mysterion?"

*Joins the group on the couch*

Do you think they're going to address the whole hospital-buying-young-girls thing? I'm intrigued as to how that's going to fit into the plot!

Shhhhhhhhh.......

*whispers* sorry

#85>Thanks for the science-y explanation MsDonna! I knew I could depend on you! This is so true to life, don't you think?

Dr Uncle Cyclops rubs his hands menacingly. "I would think it obvious my dear young half-niece-sister! I plan to sell you to the hospital so that they might use you in their diabolical experiments of the effects of sparkly vampires on young impressionable minds!!! Once they learn how to soften the minds of teenage girls, they will sell the mind control techniques to the highest bidder! Mwahahahahahahaha!"

" Oh! How horrible!" Polly whispers in an agonised tone. She reaches for a tissue....and some popcorn

*Dr Uncle Cyclops twirls half-moustache in diabolical manner*

*whispers to polly and bib* What did I miss? and grabs some popcorn

“I’m afraid to tell you Dr Uncle Cyclops that we don’t need to pay exorbitant amounts for test subjects in our experiments any more. We have laboratories in many countries where there are no Ethics Committees to interfere in our experiments. We might be willing to give you…
Dr Donna whips out a calculator and starts muttering “60 hours a week at $5 an hour, that comes to $300 a week!”

“However, for Mrs G to earn that money she will need to work in our cafeteria for 60 hours a week. But we will need to deduct Sate and Federal taxes, Health Insurance premiums and upkeep from that amount, so it will cost you $300 a week for the hospital to take her off your hands”.

Dr Donna tells Dr Uncle Cyclops
“Think about it and let me know what you decide. This offer remains on the table for 24 hours only”.

"Curses! Foiled again!"

Dr Uncle Cyclops knocks out MrsG and carries her back to his secret underground laboratory. He riffles through a phone book until he finds what he is looking for. He dials a number.

"Hello, Mysterion. I have an offer for you..."

"Hello. This is Mysterion's voicemail. I am currently out of the office. Please leave a message and i shall return your call as soon as possible. Thank you."

*beeeeeep*

*Gasp* I missed a lot! *Takes popcorn from K*

"I currently have your sissy in a cool underground labratory and you need to give me money and stuff to get her back. Oh and by the way This is Dr. Uncle Cyclops. Bye!"

He hangs up.

*Dr Uncle Cyclops thinks for a minute, then calls back*

...waits for the beep...

*curses under his breath*

"oh, i hate these things."

*louder*

"Ah, um, hi Mysterion, it's Dr Uncle Cyclops here. Not sure if you remember me, we met last year at the Evil Super-villain Conference in Reno. I gave the paper on how global weather control machines can increase your comfortness. We met at the bar afterwards and found out that we were half-twins separated at birth. I remember you were surprised because i was the third half-twin that you had met during that conference.

Anyhoo... I, ah, was just calling to see if you had any use for some surplus half-niece-sisters i happen to have on my hands. In pretty good shape, not counting some slight bicycle-inflicted head trauma and a tendency to lapse into flashbacks for no apparent reason. I know that you needed some test subjects for your experimental cure for long-term coma victims.

If you're interested, give me a call at my deserted warehouse lair. It's the one in the volcanic caldera on the deserted pacific island, not the one in the undersea complex. If not, no biggy. Toodles!"

*MrsG wakes up turns out she imagined the first phone call. She quietly gets up and starts sneeking towards the door, but then she stops and laughs very loudly at a random flashback........A young MrsG and Mysterion run into a cheery living room and MrsGs mother comes and gives her a cookie and her father follows behind and tells a funny joke*

"Hey!!" Yells Dr Uncle Cyclops yells!

NO!! Don't leave it there!!! I must know what happens next! What was the joke in the flashback? Did Mysterion get the message? Will MrsG be working in the cafeteria??
We need answers!!!

*stuffs more popcorn*

Wow, I just finished watching the whole first season of Las Lágrimas de Phoenix -- what a cliffhanger! When does the next episode come on?

That. Was. Amazing. I can't wait until the season goes on DVD so I can watch it over and over again.

Is it over already?

*munches on a cookie*

>#104: Let me check:

Messages by month
Feb. '09 448
Mar. '09 44

Ok, that's 22 messages a day, so 20.36 days to go... i'd say the next episode will recommence on March 23rd. Unless MrsGrinch returns before that.

Is it March 23rd now? :o)

Last season on Las Lágrimas de Phoenix:

MrsGrinch finds out the her brother Mysterion and her parents are still alive, but before she can be reunited she gets hit by a bicycle courier which causes a concussion and sudden inexplicable flashbacks to her long-forgotten childhood on the prairie. Meanwhile, she falls into the clutches of the evil Dr Uncle Cyclops, one of several half-twin brothers of Mysterion. Dr Uncle Cyclops tries unsuccessfully to pawn her off to the highest bidder, but apparently human experimentation isn't worth as much as it once was. Meanwhile, no one is checking Mysterion's voice mail and MrsG failed in her most recent attempt to escape because of an inopportune flashback.

We now return you to Las Lágrimas de Phoenix.

As MrsG struggles with her evil half-uncle-brother, the door into the lab bursts open and the room fills with puppies. They jump all over Dr Uncle Cyclops, driving him from the room. A happy MrsG picks up one of the puppies exclaiming, "Thank you! Thank you! You all saved me!"

"No problem MrsG," a puppy replies. MrsGrinch suddenly realizes the puppy eyes she's gazing into seem somewhat alien.

It's sad when the financial crisis spreads to the human experimentation industry.

*munches popcorn*

"Ahhh!" MrsG yells as she drops the puppy/alien in fear.

Suddenly a wrench comes flying and strikes MrsG on the head.

Wow *munches popcorn*, I did not see that coming....

(neither did MrsG...)

Muwahahaha a voice laughs in the darkness.

"Good work." said the leader puppy/alien to another puppy/alien. "Now that she's out cold, we can drag her onto the Mother Ship, and take her back to our planet! There, we will make her the Official Belly-Rubber, and no one will go without a belly rub ever again!"
Little did the puppy/aliens know, that since MrsG only has two hands, the terrible belly rub shortages of Canis Major would continue!

Is anyone else worried about the ongoing head trauma being inflicted on MrsG? I'm no doctor, but if i've learnt anything from TV, it's that serious head injuries leads inevitably to amnesia (fortunately without any other debilitating effects).

*nervously unwraps a choc-top*

But she already has amnesia!

Anyway, I watch lots of cartoon violence and no one ever died of continuous blows to the head there. You can even run them over with a steamroller and they pop right back up. :o)

Excuse me who are you?

*MrsG wakes to find herself being tied up by puppies"

Umm who am I?

A puppy alien hops up on MrsG's lap and licks her face.

"Greetings! I am Captain Kirk-9. Today is your lucky day! You have been chosen to be the Official Belly Rubber for all of Canis Major."

Captain Kirk-9 pants happily and waits for MrsG to react with squeals of delight.

Is that good?

It is if you're a puppy who needs belly rubbing. :o)

Ever notice how soap operas fade as soon as there is an alien abduction?

No? Just me then? :o)