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Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder: A Family Guide for Healing and Change

by Valerie Porr

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501516,530 (3.67)None
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, dangerous impulsivity, and tumultuous relationships. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is a compassionate and informative guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect approximately 6% of the general population. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, Valerie Porr cites cutting-edge science to show that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. Porr then clearly and accessibly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven effective, and how to rise above the weighty stigma associated with the disorder. Offering families and loved ones supportive guidance that both acknowledges the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome, Porr teaches empirically-supported and effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, how to be aware of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization-based Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict while increasing trust. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is an empowering and hopeful resource for those who wish to gain better understanding of the BPD experience--and to make use of these insights in day-to-day family interactions. Winner of the ABCT Self Help Book Seal of Merit Award 2011… (more)
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This book is amazing! This book is written in a such a way as to help give family members of persons diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) exercises, tools and support in dealing with their family member's mental illness. However, as a person reading this who have themselves been diagnosed with BPD, I found it most helpful. It's as if I was able to step outside of myself and look at me and my actions and thoughts from an outsider's point of view. It was monumentally helpful in helping me understand more about myself and why I do things that I do. Even more helpful was learning that I'm not the only person who struggles with these issues.
I would DEFINITELY recommend this book to ANYONE dealing with BPD in their families, circle of friends, or even in themselves. Chapters 7 & 8 are pure gold! Great book! ( )
  SumisBooks | Nov 26, 2017 |
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Dedication
This book is dedicated to
a very special
TARA
who taught me to understand suffering and
compassion and motivated me to find a way to
help people onto the path out of suffering.
First words
Are you perpetually stressed because you love someone who disrupts your life and causes you endless worry?
[Foreword] If you are reading this book, chances are that you, like Valerie, come to this moment and these pages not by choice.
[Preface: Why Me?] In 1990, a person I love was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
[Afterword: For Clinicians] Research shows us that 70% of people with borderline personality disorder drop out of treatment.
Quotations
Do not solve his problems for him, such as finding him a doctor, paying his rent, making his phone calls, or bailing him our of trouble. This sends him the message that he is incompetent and incapable of solving his own problems, leading to the passive dependency so characteristic of people with BPD. The least effective way to help the person you love with BPD is to do the very things for him that he should be doing for himself. When you get upset because your loved one is not doing something he needs to do for himself, remind yourself that you may have deprived him of the opportunities to learn how to solve his own problems and deal with the natural consequences of his own decision.
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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is characterized by unstable moods, negative self-image, dangerous impulsivity, and tumultuous relationships. Many people with BPD excel in academics and careers while revealing erratic, self-destructive, and sometimes violent behavior only to those with whom they are intimate. Others have trouble simply holding down a job or staying in school. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is a compassionate and informative guide to understanding this profoundly unsettling--and widely misunderstood--mental illness, believed to affect approximately 6% of the general population. Rather than viewing people with BPD as manipulative opponents in a bitter struggle, or pitying them as emotional invalids, Valerie Porr cites cutting-edge science to show that BPD is a true neurobiological disorder and not, as many come to believe, a character flaw or the result of bad parenting. Porr then clearly and accessibly explains what BPD is, which therapies have proven effective, and how to rise above the weighty stigma associated with the disorder. Offering families and loved ones supportive guidance that both acknowledges the difficulties they face and shows how they can be overcome, Porr teaches empirically-supported and effective coping behaviors and interpersonal skills, such as new ways of talking about emotions, how to be aware of nonverbal communication, and validating difficult experiences. These skills are derived from Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Mentalization-based Therapy, two evidence-based treatments that have proven highly successful in reducing family conflict while increasing trust. Overcoming Borderline Personality Disorder is an empowering and hopeful resource for those who wish to gain better understanding of the BPD experience--and to make use of these insights in day-to-day family interactions. Winner of the ABCT Self Help Book Seal of Merit Award 2011

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