I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

Like most New York women of a certain ago, I feel like Nora and I would have gotten along, had we ever met. That's no longer possible now that she's gone, and may not have been possible in real life. In any case, her writings remain. These essays on urban life, including aging, food, and apartments, were witty and engaging. I could not bring myself to read the last one about dying, as it was too close to her actual demise.

“I Feel Bad About my Neck” (me too girl…me too!🤣) by Nora Ephron

Where have I been and why have I not been reading more by this woman??lol Maybe it’s my age, but I found her hilarious and honest about the vicissitudes of aging.

Also, totally did not know she wrote the playwrights for “When Harry Met Sally” and “Sleepless in Seattle.” AND, that “Heartburn,” (which I think I saw in the late 80s) was based on her novel, which was based on her husband’s affair….gonna see this movie again now!LOL

Granted, it was published in 2006, and I’m glad some things have changed.

“Hair dye has changed everything, but it almost never gets the credit. It’s the most powerful weapon older women have against the youth show more culture.” —Although this is still true in many ways (ageism in the work field anyone?), there is more acceptance for gray hair now. 👩‍🦳

I decided to let my hair go gray when I was younger and it drove everyone insane (everyone had an opinion). So, I caved in and dyed. I then, successfully, transitioned to gray in 2015, when it was starting to become more “acceptable.” Perfect timing! She wrote: “Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair anymore is the secret upside of death.” I guess I figured this out before “death.” LOL!!

Her section on parenting (and how it has changed), adolescents (get a dog!LOL), empty nest syndrome (do not leave your kid’s room as they are…change it to anything else, or it may encourage them to return.lol), were funny and insightful.

Her love of reading and mention of “The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay” by Michael Chabon reminded me that I had the book in my TBR shelf and now I’m reading it.

Her love of food and moving from neurotic-like food choices to a more centered and true-to-self approach to dinners was good to read about.

Her view on aging was more pessimistic than mine, so there were some things I did not agree with or maybe resolved before she did. She wrote: “There are dreams that are never quite going to come true, ambitions that will never quite be realized. There are, in short, regrets.” Which is true, however, it can also be an impetus for acceptance of what is, or changes to make the rest of one’s life worthwhile. I agree with her in that “Death is a sniper,” and can rob us of those we love or hit us too soon….but then all the more reason to make the best of it. Not sermonizing…just pointing out that although I disagree with her philosophically, I still found her “views” funny and relatable.
👩‍🦳
And she must have known this (make the best of it) at some level, because of the ending…and yes… “one capful is never enough” – Use the good stuff, don’t skimp on what makes you happy, don’t wait to live.
👩‍🦳
What an interesting woman! show less

Nora Ephron has been an occasional guilty pleasure for many years. I remember reading CRAZY SALAD some years ago, chortling quietly to myself. And I loved her screenplays too. So I'm not surprised that I so enjoyed I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK, a collection of essays that had me at times laughing so hard I began to cough and wheeze ("On Maintenance" and "The Story of My Life in 3,500 Words or Less" and the title piece), and at other times causing me to reflect soberly on the fragility of life ("Considering the Alternative"). But probably my favorite piece is "On Rapture," which is all about loving books and the worlds they can take you to. I'm glad I read this slim collection. What I fell bad about now, however, is that Nora Ephron, with show more her marvelous sense of irony and cockeyed humor, is no longer with us. show less

From Silkwood to Heartburn to When Harry Met Sally, Nora Ephron is a genius storyteller with a lovely sardonic sense of humor. I picked up this book at a library sale for less than $1, and it proved to well worth the purchase. Ok, that didn't sound like a compliment, but I think it is a compliment that Ephron would understand. Besides, I have to get even with her for breaking the news to me that, being 41 years old, I have exactly one more year to enjoy my neck before it completely degenerates to the point that it must go into hiding under turtlenecks in various shades of black. I do not own turtlenecks. I feel my collar bone is one of my sexiest features and display it openly every chance I get. However, according to Ephron I probably show more will be having less and less sex as I continue to increase in years (goddess willing, it will be a good many, many years more), so none of my angst for the physical inevitabilities of age is probably worth the effort.

Ephron and I do not have much in common: I am not a foodie (beyond the fact that I will not eat anything that has been hormone induced, corn fed, contained in filthy and confining pens, and/or genetically modified...I don't eat much, in which case, I am not a foodie); my purse is organized and I own more than one (though see absolutely no point in spending more than $20 on anything that will, inevitably, end up worn and grimy despite being organized since I actually use my purses and not just admire the name on the tags); and I cannot dream of affording to have my hair done twice a week, botox, shrinks, or to fly to L.A. to purchase a pair of jeans from a boutique frequented by Nancy Reagan.

Still, yes, an empty nest is underrated, the joy of a good book takes priority over all other matters, and I remember every minute of being in labor 22 years after the fact (it hurt like fucking hell!).

Pour a glass of wine and enjoy the read. As for me, I must go find a sale on black turtlenecks. show less

Ms. Ephron's take on being a woman is fierce and funny, stressing the continual but inevitably unsucessful battle against aging. It also treats critical matters like New York apartments, parenting, and cooking. What grabbed me most in the book, however, is her perspective on aging, one that did not see much light at the end of the tunnel. I read it when it came out, over fifteen years ago, when I was still in my early 60's. Now, I'm in my late 70's, and the unflinching last chapter stings a lot more sharply.

I was ready to give this a solid 4 stars: a solid collection of essays and columns written by Nora Ephron. They were all good and mostly amusing, although none of them made me laugh out loud.

Then I got to the last essay, Considering the Alternative and she wowed me. She had me laughing out loud at the beginning of it and awestruck at the simple truth of the end of it. This last essay about the truth and inevitability of death is worth the entire book, so I gave it that last half-star.

Also, many quotable bits, but my favorite, I think, is this:

Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter. Reading gives me something to talk about later on. show more Reading is the unbelievably healthy way my attention deficit disorder medicates itself. Reading is escape, and the opposite of escape; it's a way to make contact with reality after a day of making things up, and it's a way of making contact with someone else's imagination after a day that's all too real. Reading is grist. Reading is bliss.

Amen. show less

I've got very bogged down in the Bill Bryson book, so needed a comfort read to stop me hitting a reading slump. I've never read anything by Nora Ephron before, but I'd a great book haul just before my birthday and this one spoke to me in the Oxfam charity book shop.

I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman is a collection of wry observational essays about getting older from a women's perspective. Some of it touches on big topics, like the essay on confronting death when a close friend dies, but much of it is comical perspective on the every day things in life. Positioning the stories as anecdotal from her own life experiences, the essays are full of New York dry humour and wit, such as the title story on how the neck show more always gives the game away in the battle against ageing.

You either like Ephron's sort of humour or you don't but it worked for me. These essays aren't meant to be taken too seriously, and I think anyone who reviews this book as being ego-centric is missing the point. Ephron knows that the best humour is to be found in every day life observations and self-deprecation. In one story she writes about how her love affair with the Upper East Side building she rents her apartment in ends after 10 years when her rent is hiked due to a new law allowing huge rent increases for people earning over $250,000. The point of the story is not to inform the masses that she's earning over $250,000, but to poke fun at her own indignation of this first world problem for someone who's very comfortably well off.

4 stars - This isn't a book I'm going to spend too much thinking about afterwards, but it was a short, amusing filler to whet my reading appetite again. show less