Go the Fuck to Sleep

This book is hilarious.

Obviously, you really have to keep it away from small children because... well, it looks like a small kids book!

Because, it's a parody of those kids books that-- as a parent-- you read over, and over, and over, and over, and over again in a completely USELESS attempt to tire out your adorable little bundle of sweetness so they will GO TO SLEEP!!

This book expresses so well that frustration that all parents feel at some point... I mean, yes, we DO love our kids. No, we wouldn't say these things to our little balls of delight! But oh yes, there are some nights when the little darlings do sorely try us all, no??

This book is for those nights. Take it out after your adorable darling has finally succumbed to slumber, show more and slip into a bubble bath (maybe with a glass of wine?) and giggle away your anger and frustration. Because you are worth it! (And it's far better than punching walls!! Really!! Because... well, you gotta FIX the wall later!) Sweet dreams! show less

This may look like a book for children with its verse format and beautiful illustrations, but instead it's about the funniest book on the frustrations of parenting I've ever read. Do not read this to your child! However, take comfort in knowing that you are far from the only one who struggles with bedtime malaise. Every parent with a small child will need to read this book to get a well-deserved, albeit exhausted, laugh.

First, thank you StumbleUpon, for taking me to this site, and allowing me to experience the audio reading of this book, with accompanying video of the illustrations. It was awesome.

I think if I had read this on my own... 3 stars maybe. It was cute, kinda witty, but nothing spectacular. But I gave this 5 stars. And called it 'awesome'.

Why? Four words: Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson.

That's right. Samuel L. Motherfucking Jackson. And for all 6 minutes of this audio, I was enthralled, laughing and empathizing. I think that Mr. Motherfucking Jackson added so much to this experience, that I think that the book should be sold with a CD of this, so that parents can push play, Mr. Motherfucking Jackson can read to the kids, and mom and dad show more can have some alone time.

BET those kids stay the fuck in bed, too. O_O

But honestly, the reading was spectacular. I know, I know... It's a 6 minute long reading of a for-adults-at-kids'-bed-time story, but Mr. Motherfucking Jackson MADE this reading. You can hear him losing his patience, mentally counting to 5, or 10, or 100 maybe, so that he keeps from putting the kid to sleep the violent way. You can hear his desperation, sleep deprivation, pleading need for a rest... just 5 minutes without "Mommy can I..." or "Daddy I need..."s. You can feel his dread that this will continue, every night, forever, and that he will lose it, and that he will snap, and CPS will be called and his life will be ruined, and all because little Mr. Motherfucking Jackson Jr wouldn't Go The Fuck To Sleep.

Brilliant. show less

Every parent whose ever lived has, at some point (but mostly regularly, at lots of points) wanted to tell their kid GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. (And if you say you never wanted to, your child either didn't have vocal cords or you are telling big porkies). This book says it on every page and the beautiful illustrations and to-the-point poetry will elicit much sympathy and humour on the part of any reader. But perhaps not the knowing looks that will pass between the tired, sleep-deprived parents of a baby, a toddler or just an effing little brat, on receiving this book as a creative gift from you.

The copy I found at the little free library near me is inscribed, "Seriously Theodore, Your parents are exhausted . . . " Yup.

Mostly hilarious, but some of the lackluster rhymes are really pathetic, even for a joke book:

"All the kids from day care are in dreamland.
The froggie has made his last leap.
Hell no, you can't go to the bathroom.
You know where you can go? The fuck to sleep."

If you haven't already, look up Samuel L. Jackson reading this book on YouTube. Without your kids.

At the urging of a friend, I read this book expecting to laugh my head off. Don’t get me wrong, I smiled and grinned a lot, and maybe even had a smirk, thanking nobody in particular that I’m not a parent. Instead, what I thought most was, FINALLY, somebody is willing to put their neck out and admit what a pain-in-the-arse it can be to be a parent SOMETIMES. None of this sunshine and rainbows 24/7 bull crap that everyone thinks he/she should project as a parent, complete with a plastered-on fake smile, even though they haven't sleep for days and their blood vessels have more coffee than blood. God forbid you actually admit that all you really want to do is swear like a sailor every night you try to put your kid to bed.

Go Adam show more Mansbach Go. Tell the world how f’ing f’d-up it can be to be a parent - despite how much you love your children. show less

As I think any parent can relate to this, this is both absolutely 100% true and absolutely incredibly funny. Bedtime might possibly well be perhaps the worst of all 'times' and is such a terror to all kids for some reason. Like their afraid they'll never awake or that they'll miss something in those intervening hours. Meanwhile.... as a parent.... you just want that quiet.... that sweet sweet quiet.