Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet

Being a flight attendant often seems glamorous to the uninitiated. Heather Poole is here to tell you that it’s not all jet-setting to exotic locales and hooking up with pilots (also, she explains why flight attendants might not want to). She talks about rude passengers, funny incidents, celebrity encounters, and life skills she learned as she progressed in her career.

This was funnier than I expected; part of me thought it might be a bit trashy (buying into the stereotypes about pilot/flight attendant relationships, I guess), but I enjoyed this a lot. It made a highly amusing couple of hours. The chapter ragging on pilots was especially funny to me because I have friends who used to be pilots before I knew them, and I could very well show more imagine one or two of them acting exactly as Poole describes here! And I loved the story about how her mom became a flight attendant too and they ended up working together.

This book is recommended particularly for frequent fliers: you need to realize just how much work flight attendants do. They are not there to look pretty and serve you drinks. They are trained professionals who will have to save your ungrateful ass in an emergency, so listen to them. show less

Flight attendants - they do nothing, travel around the world and wear nice clothes, right? Maybe people that do not travel think so but the reality is very different and most frequent travelers can tell you so. Heather Poole takes this one step further and gives the story of what it really is to be a flight attendant.

Training, the first years, the first flights, the problems, the laughs, the cries - they all are in this book. The life of a fight attendant is not really different from that of anyone else... except that their hours are a bit weird. For at least half the book the author manages to amuse and entertain. And then things go downhill. From the entertaining and funny book that you started reading it turns into a repetitious show more whine fest. Just how many times should the reader be told that seniority is the most important thing in the profession (after the first 3 times, I was getting annoyed), that international crews look better because they sleep more and wear better clothes (but she had never been part of an international carrier so is this really so or does she see only what everyone else sees), the company she works for and the systems are not very nice (it is called a job - you signed for it, you do it), the money are never enough (yes, anyone that works can say the same), how hard it is these days to get to your base with all the overbooked flights and so on and so on. The details are interesting - the first time they are told. After that it gets really annoying.

It's a good glimpse in the life and a lot of the stories are hilarious (and I had seen similar ones occasionally). The inside stories were priceless -- there is so much that people do not even think about and I start wondering how the airline companies do not end up canceling even more flights. But the book could have been made a lot better than it is now. show less

What an exercise of vapidity Cruising Altitude is; within the first few pages, I put the book down and refused to give it any more of my attention. Then, I decided I wanted to review it online and determined to finish it; I promise you, I am that much more dumb for finishing this inane, poorly-written “memoir.”

Heather Poole does not suffer from anything remotely resembling a self-esteem problem; if anything, her narcissistic delusions seep across the narrative like an egregiously-placed fart in a crowded room by a pretty woman. Poole cannot write, Poole cannot thread together any sort of story, Poole cannot do anything but condescend to the reader and preen about her own amazing awesomeness.

For instance, here is this gem on page 14: show more “Only the most qualified applicants are hired [to be a flight attendant]. Even though a college degree is not a requirement, there are very few flight attendants who do not possess one…This should tell you a lot about me, and anyone else you encounter in navy polyester. Think about that the next time you’re on a plane.” And yet, mere pages later, she is touting that her “bachelor’s in psychology” will help her “way to a real career [in] something…oh, I don’t know…I could figure it out later!” (25). As someone who has experienced the collegiate life myself, I know that a monkey could walk out of those walls with a B.S. in psychology. Try harder to impress me, Poole.

When Poole attempts to get down to the actual grit of being a flight attendant, it is lost with her vapid complaints about packing, uniforms, other peoples’ looks, and the like. When she first got her training assignment, instead of focusing on “[memorizing the] more than five hundred airport city codes before training began” (“Did the airline really expect [that]?”) she worried more about what to pack, and spent more time describing the contents of her suitcase (27-28).

And really, I can go on and on. She’s an idiot who speaks disparagingly about passengers, about her friends, about the people her friends love (“Jake, John, Jack, whatever his name was”…ad nauseum). Poole makes no attempt to flesh out what could be interesting anecdotes about the not-so-run-of-the-mill people she has met throughout her years, but instead she’s too busy preening for her own reflection.

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Once upon a time, I thought being a flight attendant was a glamorous job. See the world for free and all that jazz. And then I met some flight attendants who, while they love their jobs (most of the time), quickly disabused me of that particular fantasy. Heather Poole's insider memoir Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet serves the same function. Like many jobs, being a flight attendant is only glamorous from the outside looking in.

Poole started as a flight attendant at a cut rate carrier (now out of business) but quickly interviewed for the same position with a major airline and was hired. She gives the reader a glimpse into the extensive training involved in the job and the ways in show more which different aircraft require different protocols in terms of safety and also in terms of service. She discusses her fellow new recruits and what they faced as they joined the ranks of the more experienced flight attendants. Large portions of the book detail the expensive and cramped living conditions flight attendants endure living in "Crew Gardens" (Kew Gardens), New York, the abyssmally poor pay, and the stress of being the lowest person on the totem pole and having to consistently work the unpredictable reserve slot. Certainly not an easy lifestyle and one destined to be very hard on a social or personal life. Poole does dish on ill-behaved passengers and the unrealistic expectations placed on flight attendants by some of the more egregious fliers but these stories are short and anecdotal compared to the tales of a flight attendant's lifestyle.

The memoir is breezy and conversational and it is clear that it evolved from blog posts as it reads like a string of stories one friend would tell another one about her job rather than a tightly threaded narrative. The chapters jump around from tales in the air to training and back again so it's definitely not a chronological story and the anecdotes contained in the same chapters are sometimes only very tangentially connected. Some of the more technical aspects of bidding trips or seniority or being on reserve were a bit convoluted and not particularly necessary for a layman's audience as they were just confusing (and to be fair, probably every bit equally as confusing for the new flight attendant). But overall the book was humorous and offered cynical-about-the-public me more affirmation that people are demanding, selfish, and generally not nice, especially to anyone working in a service industry. That Poole and her fellow co-workers can keep their tempers in the face of some of the worst ingratitude and unpleasantness is a credit to them. And I'm glad that she can laugh about it in hindsight and that she invites us to laugh about it with her. show less

If you're thinking about an exciting career in airborne customer service, this is the book for you! If, like me, you are not considering becoming a flight attendant, it is hard to explain why you would even pick this book up, much less read quickly through it in fascinated excitement, as I just did.

I guess this book answered a question that we all must have asked, but never really pursued, as we are served a diet coke or commanded to take our seats. Who are these people? What are their lives like?

Heather Poole provides the real deal, the inside scoop on the glamorous flight attendant life style. And, man, is it ever not glamorous. Who would do this work? And why?

You know how much flying sucks? OK, now imagine that it's your job, and you show more do it for 30 or 40 hours a week, and have to smile and pretend you like it. Then imagine you get paid really badly, and have to hot bunk it (share a bed) in dingy flop houses spread around the country where fellow attendants come and go at all hours of the night. Now imagine the passengers, the whining, complaining, needy, rude mass of humanity, who hate flying as much as any sane person would, and who you must passify, calm, and herd. Then imagine the polyester uniform you must wear, and the hair and makeup codes you must conform to.

If you do this kind of work, you do get travel benefits. Sort of. But they don't sound very generous, and of course every time you use them you have to do what? Get on another stinking aluminum tube and fly. No, ladies and gentlemen, this is a truly awful way to make a living, and we can only shake our heads in wonder at Ms. Poole's excited telling of adventures and misadventures over her 15 year career in the sky. Good on her, for creating a very readable memoir. She's got some real war stories. I loved the awfulness of the life she described. But I don't think she thinks her life is awful. I believe that she thinks it's been a rollicking good ride.

I guess that's what you'd want your flight attendant to feel - that this is a pretty good life, all things considered. So it's all good. Thank you Heather Poole for sharing your experience of work. show less

I had just finished Heather Poole's memoir, Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet, when the news broke about the Jet Blue pilot who had a breakdown on his flight from New York to Las Vegas. After reading Heather's book, you kind of understood how this happened.

Poole began her career on a regional airline, SunJet, that offered a $69 flight from Dallas to Newark, Ft. Lauerdale and Long Beach. The airline was often filled with unattended minors shuttling back and forth between parents and grandparents, and one flight Poole flew had 12 unattended minors. She joked that the planes were literally held together with duct tape on seats, in the galley, etc.

She eventually moved on to a bigger show more airline, and she gives the reader a fascinating insight to the world of flight attendants. The first step was flight attendant school, or as Poole called it 'Barbie Boot Camp', which lasted for two months. Each day, fewer and fewer people would be at school; it reminded me of Demi Moore in the movie G.I. Jane, where recruits would disappear without a word.

Poole made a good friend in Georgia, a gorgeous Southern belle who had always dreamed of being an flight attendant. Her roommate was a Texas gal named Linda, who was a grandmother. Heather had her doubts about Linda, but they became friends too.

I learned many interesting facts about flight attendants. For example, they do not get paid until the plane backs away from the gate. While you're boarding and they are welcoming you and helping with your bags, they are not being paid. I think that is just plain wrong.

They must find crashpads to stay in, usually rented rooms in homes near their base airport. Heather and Georgia lived in a home owned by a Russian cabbie, where they shared a room with four other women, and there were three other bedrooms set up in similar fashion upstairs. And only one bathroom. It sounds almost like living on a submarine to me. (In fact, some people did have a bed-sharing agreement, like a submarine.)

There were even some flight attendants who lived in RVs in the employee parking lots at JFK airport.

Poole attempts to explain the reserve system, which sounded like the equivalent of hospital residents on-call system, but I didn't quite understand all of the intricacies of it. It is very involved, and the first time Heather was called to work on reserve, she messed it up and almost got fired, as she was on probation and could be fired for any small infraction.

In the 1970s, flight attendants averaged 18 months of employment, because they must be single and childless. Today, they last either a few months or an entire lifetime; there seems to be no middle ground.

Most attendants take the job for the travel passes; the ability to fly for free or for a very reduced rate. They can also have a few family members or friends fly for free. For the low pay and sometime abusive conditions, I'm not sure it's worth it. (Some of her stories of horrible passengers made me cringe. How can human beings act like that?)

Poole is a terrific writer; her book reads like a good novel. She tells her story with humor and pathos, and there's even some tension thrown in for good measure. I raced through the book, and it gave me a new appreciation for flight attendants.

One thing she said that stuck with me is that flight attendants appreciate hearing a "please" or "thank you". I think that it is only fitting that I end by saying 'thank you' to Heather Poole for writing this informative and entertaining memoir. show less

You know, these days I read travel books with a whole different eye. One, I’m usually reading them in an airport or a hotel. Two, the situations and places in the books seem very familiar to me now. That’s one of the reasons I was so interested in Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama, and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 Feet – I see a lot of flight attendants in the course of a week’s work, and it looks like an interesting, exciting job. Like most jobs, though, it’s not quite what it seems.

Author Heather Poole was encouraged by her mother to apply for a job as a flight attendant — the job her mother had always wanted. That first interview was a complete failure, but after college and a few years spent designing show more watches, she tried again. Her stories of flight attendant training school were really surprising — they are tough on those students! The whole thing seems designed to wear them down and weed out the weak. That’s probably a good thing because the job itself is not for delicate flowers. The hours are long, the schedule is unpredictable and the people you meet are crazy.

Poole does a great job of working in stories about crazy passengers and other flight attendants without giving too much away:

“I may not remember her name, but on the descent into New York she told me all about her ex-husband, a pilot who cheated on her numerous times with other flight attendants, and whose former mother-in-law is trying to get sole custody of the children using her job against her. There was another man who never told me his name, but I do know his first sexual encounter took place with a man twenty years his senior and now he only has a thing for older men — with red hair. Just like the man sitting in 22B. I couldn’t tell you their names, but I do know they’ll be spending the night in jail because he punched her after she scratched his face for daring to call his wife in her presence as soon as the flight touched ground.”

It’s like a soap opera in the sky!

And, of course, there are the celebrity encounters for the folks working in first class. That has to be one of the more interesting parts of the job. Poole talks about her time working on a private jet, the rich and powerful men that she met (and occasionally dated) as they were sitting in first class, and there are celebrity stories that read like gossip column blind items:

“So, here’s the galley gossip. He was one of the biggest pop stars of our time, and while he wouldn’t breathe the air at 35,000 feet without wearing a face mask, he had no problem scarfing down two first class meals…This actor known for having a thing for supermodels fell asleep with his hand down his pants in first class…The comedian who got kicked off of one of daytime tv’s hottest talk shows asked the pilot not to make any more announcements because her baby was sleeping…A Canadian who shot to the top of the music charts for her scathing lyrics wouldn’t allow a passenger in the window seat to pass by her in order to use the lavatory until quietly meditating with her first.”

I was really interested in the stories about the schedules and workload. As much as I travel now and the crazy schedule I keep, hers is so much worse! What they put flight attendants through ought to be criminal. The crazy hours, the backbiting, the competition for good flights — it’s all insane and one of those jobs you really have to love to put up with all of that.

This is a fun read for anyone who travels a lot. It gives you a whole new respect for the people serving your beverages (although after what she says about Diet Coke, I’ll feel guilty about asking for it!) and pretzels. It’s certainly an enlightening read for anyone interested in a career in travel. I could have skipped a lot of the stories about her love life and personal life in favor of more travel anecdotes, but it’s generally a pretty good balance. show less