I Suck at Girls

Road trip audiobook!

I needed a short book for that last stretch between Des Moines and Omaha, and what little was left when I rolled in the driveway I was able to finish the next day at the grocery store while restocking food supplies.

Ostensibly, this is about Justin Halpern's cringe-worthy sex life, but it is also very much an extension of the Sh*t My Dad Says franchise. While Halpern's stories are good, they are always better when his father butts in to share his hilarious opinions on whatever is happening.

I smile during Halpern's parts, but I laugh out loud at his father's pearls of wisdom.

Justin Halpern’s true-life account of his attempts at wooing the ladies is laced with humor and heartbreak. A quasi-follow-up to the bestselling Sh*t My Dad Says, Halpern’s story of his path to lasting romance is a quick, relatable read for both sexes. You don’t have to be a dude to appreciate the awkward fumbling of a teen asking his/her crush to the prom — and the terrible expectations that follow.

As you’d expect, though, Halpern’s caustic father totally steals the show. Sam Halpern manages to be both profane and profound, and his wisdom about Justin’s endlessly stunted love life is laugh-out-loud hilarious. Seriously, how could a man who cusses so constantly and effectively still be viewed as a modern-day philosopher? show more I’m honestly not sure, but Sam knows his stuff. And since he’s such a straight shooter (with his son and, um, everyone), you can’t help but respect the guy.

Anyone who has chuckled over the author’s popular Twitter feed will appreciate Halpern’s tales of growing up in San Diego, gallivanting through Ibiza, trying to impress Hooters waitresses and generally attempting to be cool. He succeeds. Halpern is sweet and endearing, and I was glad to know he finally got a (real) happy ending.

If you’re into humorous memoirs (me! me!), you can’t help but fall for Halpern in I Suck At Girls. He’s our modern Everydude — a quick and talented writer who could be your brother, boyfriend or son. Though I haven’t read his rollicking debut focused on the wisdom of his wise-cracking father, it’s definitely on my list now. show less

There are parts of this book that are screamingly funny, other parts that are howlingly hilarioius, and yet other parts where I got looks from my fellow commuters for my guffaws. I know why I relate. I sucked at girls and was a huge dorkwad myself (still am, but I'm married and the geeks have inherited the earth). It is a pleasure to discover this guy at the beginning of his career, and to keep pace with him. I honestly can't wait to see what he comes up with next.

After deciding to propose to his girlfriend, Amanda, Justin Halpern's father suggests that he spend a day thinking about what he had learned about women. Justin does, sharing some of his more amusing exploits, starting with the first "crush" he had and ending with his proposal to Amanda.

Although I found myself laughing aloud a few times while reading this book, it simply isn't as funny as Sh*t My Dad Says. Some of the stories are much more awkward than funny, and I almost felt creepy reading about his dysfunctional sex life. It's an okay book, but not up to the caliber of his first.

Justin Halpern has had one of those meteoric rises to fame akin only to the legendary Phoenix's rise from the ashes. After breaking up with his girlfriend he moved back into his parents and from there started the Twitter account 'Shit My Dad Says' which became an overnight sensation and lead to a book deal and a TV show...all because his dad (like mine seemingly) is a belligerent who says the most random shite you ever heard.

I hadn't realised he had written the first book (titled on the Twitter account) but after reading this one I will definitely hunt it down soon - unfortunately Waimakariri's District Council's Libraries haven't got it, so if anyone has a copy I can borrow?

This tale follows Justin's life sometime after the makeup of show more before-mentioned ex-girlfriend when Justin tells his dad he is going to marry her...and doesn't quite get the rapturous reception that such an announcement would, or should bring. Simply, his dad told him to 'relive those moments through life in which girls were involved and then if you still feel the same, then go for it...'

Or something like that.

So as Justin takes us on a journey through his female interactions from aged 8 through his mid-20s, the lanes flip with alarming regularity and raucous laughter as this absolute dunce with the ladies struggles through impressing a girl (with drawings of dogs defecating on her head), to robbing homeless men of their porn, to gropes in the car, to attempting to lose his virginity, and all that normal American stuff in between; college, sports, working in burger joints and the such.

While his failure in love is central to the plot, the undoubted star of the show is his dad who steps into frame like jumper leads attached to the testicles, only harsher. How Justin never ended up a babbling psychotic with murderous tendencies is anyone's guess, but one cannot help but love the bloke, and at times I understood that being like him and me is not such a bad thing after all...we might die lonely, but people will always understand why.

A top notch read for guys and gals alike, beware the cantankerous bastard behind you! show less

A few years ago, Justin Halpern rocked the book world with his best-selling book, Sh*t My Dad Says, based on his Twitter feed where he just wrote hilarious stuff his cranky dad told him. The tweets turned into a book which turned into a TV show that did not do the book justice.

In my review of the book, I said that you could tell who in my family was reading the book by the burst of laughter coming from various rooms in the apartment. My adult sons and I loved the profane, funny and yes, touching book.

Halpern is back with another gem of a book, I Suck at Girls, about his (mis)adventures with the fairer sex. Once again there is plenty of wit and wisdom from his father, but also lots of heart. As the only women in a family of men, I found show more that this book gave me a window into the world of what boys and men really think and feel about women.

Halpern is a shy guy, and to his utter dismay, still a virgin at the age of twenty. His recounting of his prom night is a sad one, but I bet it's probably closer to many people's experiences than we are willing to admit. High school wasn't a happy time for him, so he was thrilled to be attending San Diego State University ("Harvard, without the smart people", as his dad called it), where he hoped to get a fresh start.

About a fifth of his high school graduating class was going to SDSU, so his hope that no one would know him was dashed when he was referred to as "the guy who wears sweatpants to school sometimes." Halpern writes "Ideally, I'd like to be known as something other than that."

He and his friend Ryan work hard all summer and saved their money to go to Europe, where they had heard that the girls all want to have sex. They decide to go to Ibiza because Ryan read in a guide book that the parties there are crazy. Along the way they meet a great character, Vietnam Joe, who doesn't speak much English, but manages to get a pretty Mexican girl.

Halpern and his buddy get jobs washing dishes at Hooters, and he finally gets a girlfriend. He gets dumped and gets a job at another restaurant and dates another waitress, who is a bit crazy. Finally he meets a woman whom he think she could have a long term relationship with, but she lives in San Francisco.

I Suck at Girls is the kind of book that appeals to men and women. Men will read it and relate to Halpern's life. Women should read it to learn about the interior life of men; if you think they are all dogs, you would be well served to read it to learn about just how insecure men are and how much courage it takes to approach a woman.

And I love his dad even more after reading this book.

I have to give this book a rating of 5 of 5 because any book that makes me laugh that hard and then want to give the poor guy a hug deserves it. show less

This was a quick and easy read. Then again, books that make me laugh out loud tend to be the ones I don't ever want to put down, and that was the case with this one.

Justin Halpern's writing style is very easy for me to read. His stories flow smoothly and you always know there's going to be a great payoff in the end. Only this time, instead of his dad getting all the laughs, Justin had plenty of stories in which he was the comic superhero. But if you're a fan of Sh!t My Dad Says, you won't be disappointed. His dad makes some appearances in this book as well, and if you buy the Kindle version, there are video bonuses at the end of the book so you can watch some videos of him with his dad.

This book comes about because Justin tells his dad show more he's bought his girlfriend an engagement ring. His dad makes a comment about how he knew Justin's mom was the one, and that gets Justin thinking. He tells readers about the girls he's known and dated. We learn about all the crazy things he's said or done on dates, and find out how he knows what he knows about women.

If you've ever dated, you can relate. If you're a guy, you'll probably empathize. If you're a woman, you'll maybe feel a little differently about some of the goofy things guys have said to you. Yes, they really are clueless! Justin is proof! show less