The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving

I loved this book! It is truly a good read. Jonathan Evison has done a great job at pulling the reader right into the story, and right into the story's heart. He handles heartbreak, disappointment, lost causes, with a of brave humor that one usually encounters only among the very injured...and most of the characters in this book are wounded. But such resilience! Such unmawkish compassion! His characters live and breathe and you just root for them. It's a beautiful story of Benjamin Benjamin (Jr.!), a man who has lost way too much, returning to the land of the living - through caregiving?! It says a great deal (of good stuff) about fatherhood, parenthood, friendship, healing, responsibility, trust, life itself, and it says it in such a show more winsome, believable voice. Revised is the kind of book you read, relishing every word, dying to find out how it's going to end, and yet not wanting it to end because it's just so enjoyable. My favorite book this year! show less

First of all, I listened to this with a narrator that suited it perfectly, Jeff Woodman. I assume I'd give the same rating in print, but that's not a given.

Jonathan Evison has done a very difficult thing: made the grieving process both realistic and humorous. Our pitiful protagonist, Ben, has lost everything (his wife, his children, his in-laws, his job, his future, his money) and he hasn't dealt with any of it. Finally, in desperate need of funds, he starts climbing out of his funk, getting a job as a caregiver for Trev, a wise-cracking teenager with muscular dystrophy. Past and present interweave in Ben's consciousness, revealing more as we read. As I lost myself in this book and put myself in Ben's shoes, I experienced how truly show more challenging his grief would be to overcome. I could not fault Ben for his rather sad-sack attitude, and I felt so grateful for all the good luck I've had in my own life.

Surprisingly, the book is not only tears. Chuckles abound, especially if you don't mind a little coarseness on the part of a virginal teen-aged boy and find occasional slapstick amusing. The book really gets going when Ben and Trev take a road trip to visit Trev's estranged (not for lack of trying) father. Several other characters enter the stage, and all lives are changed. I loved Ben's relationships with all the characters, especially the other fathers.

I took off half a star because I would have liked just a little more resolution at the end. Not much, but a little. show less

Ben Benjamin used to be a happy man – not merely contented, he was truly happy. His wife, a successful veterinarian, made the kind of money that allowed Ben to stay home with the couple’s young son and daughter, an arrangement both agreed was, by far, their best parenting option. He was doing a good job, the kids were healthy and happy, and the family’s future was bright. But then Ben learned a painful life-lesson, one likely to scar him emotionally for the rest of his life: “…nothing is indestructible.” His wife and children were snatched from him in an instant, leaving him with no family, no home, no job, and just barely enough will to go on.

Down to his last few dollars, Ben decides to try something different to earn his show more keep. He enrolls in a night school class called “The Fundamentals of Caregiving,” learns the basics of the job, and signs up with a placement agency. Although it is not immediately evident, Ben and his very first client, a nineteen-year-old Muscular Dystrophy patient, will become a perfect match because young Trevor, who is being raised by his single-mom, needs a male role model as badly as Ben needs someone to help stabilize his own life – whether he knows it or not.

Ben is riding a rollercoaster of misplaced blame and emotional fatigue and, at the beginning, he sees caregiving as just another job. After all, it pays only nine dollars an hour, and he has been instructed never to form an emotional attachment to any of the people for whom he finds himself responsible. But, as Ben and Trevor begin to bond, Ben is surprised by how important the job suddenly becomes to him. Then, when Trevor’s mother surprisingly agrees to their plan for a cross-country road trip that will allow the pair to visit as many bizarre roadside attractions as possible, Ben and Trevor do some growing up together.

For Trevor, this is a real coming-of-age experience, one in which some of his dreams and fantasies finally do come true. For Ben, it is an opportunity to change in ways that will permit him to get on with the rest of his life before it is too late, maybe even a chance to start liking himself a little bit again. Trevor and Ben, along with the three misfits they encounter along the way, form a makeshift little family that none of them will ever forget – and all five will be the better for having been a part of it.

The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving is all about life’s surprises – the good ones, and the bad ones. This is a novel filled with tragedy, emotional pain, and broken people, but do not be put off by that. True, it might put a tear or two in your eye, but by the time you finish The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving, you will be smiling. You might even be inspired to make a change or two in your own life.

Rated at: 4.0 show less

I have been an avid reader for as long as I can remember and a writer for nearly as long. I have discovered that writing is far more difficult than I ever imagined it to be. Therefore my admiration for writers is right up there with any artist, painter or sculptor. To craft a story, short story, novel, or essay is as difficult as laying the foundation for a statue, painting or piece of pottery or collage. To create the characters, the action, and the climax of a story or novel requires planning and the sheer determination and flexibility to rework what has been written over and over again until what is meant is as clear as it can be, so the writer hopes the reader interprets the writing as it was intended to be read. I admire the clear show more and concise writing by Evison in this novel. I was so entertained by the characters and the story-line that I didn't take the time to consider the mechanics until it was over. Only then did I recognize the work that must be done to create this deceptively "simple" story of loss and redemption.
TRFoC is told by Benjamin Benjamin, a young man trying to pull himself together after a "disaster' befalls his young family. His grieving wife blames him, and his in-laws have disowned him. Seeing him is a painful reminder of their loss, and his role in it. After going through a series of undemanding and low-paying jobs he applies for a job as a caretaker for a young man with Duchennes Syndrome. Trevor suffers with this terrible wasting disease, bravely facing each day in a home where he is an only child to a single mother. After a period of adjustment, Trevor and Ben decide to go on a road trip to visit Trevor's father, an accident prone,rather pitiful but well-intentioned guy, who has just had a self-imposed accident, and is in a partial body cast. At this point in the audiobook, I felt as though I had heard the entire book, but I continued on, as I was really enjoying not only the writing but the narration. The road trip seems to be another book within itself, but you won't complain.I loved this book. Despite the sadness and guilt that Benjamin Benjamin constantly carries with him and tries to come to terms with, there are many moments of humor, much to laugh about as they meet up with others along the way.These characters are compelling and oftentimes needy. But they are also there for Ben during his darkest moments as he recollects his part in the "disaster' that tore his family apart.

This is the first book in recent memory that did not have the inevitable chapter or two that makes me wonder if the editor was on vacation when they were passed to him. There was not a chapter, a sentence or a word wasted or in excess in TRFoC. It is entertaining and while evoking sympathy it is uplifting. The characters overcome their trials with encouragement from each other. This book does not paint any rosy pictures, but rather gives us life, the way it really is, part pain, part laughter, and with a little encouragement, survivable.The narrator was fantastic, but I'm sure the book stands on its own. Highly recommended show less

With The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving I was treated to a somewhat snarky, somewhat endearing, and fully heart-breaking story as I followed Benjamin Benjamin (yes, you read that right) through the passage of healing from a terrible tragedy.

Benjamin's life is pretty much in shambles, and now he has completed his training to take care of folks in need in their homes - and as a result fortune favors him with a young man with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. Their meeting was fortuitous ... for both.

With enough humor to take what would have otherwise been a dismal story, Jonathan Evison weaves the story of Benjamin's present and past into a story that had me flipping pages quickly. There was crude humor (but really hilarious stuff) and show more enough touching moments that I actually said "aww" out loud and had to catch my breath before I started to cry.

Evison gives us a full cast of characters, ranging from the teenage runaway, to the ex-wife, to the strange neighbor lady and her pets. There's high speed chases, road-trips, family bonding, and accidents that will make your heart seize up as you consider the implications of it all.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and it's not often I recommend a book by a male author for one of those beachy, summer reads but I think that The Revised Fundamentals of Caregiving is easily one of those books I can recommend for just that. show less

"I'll never stop caring. But the thing about caring is, it's inconvenient. Sometimes you've got to give when it makes no sense to at all. Sometimes you've got to give until it hurts."

Benjamin Benjamin (Ben) hasn't worked for a number of years and is broke so decides to retrain to become a caregiver. His first client is Trev, a 19 year old Duchene Muscular Dystrophy sufferer who is sarcastic, stubborn, angry and scared. The first rule of caregiving is 'don't get emotionally involved' however, Ben gradually tries to encourage Trev to live a little. Eventually Trev agrees to embark on a road trip.

Trev isn't the only one who needs a change of scenery. Ben has recently suffered a devastating loss and is probably suffering from PTSD. He is show more also being harassed by his wife to agree to a divorce. The story is told in short chapters alternating between flashbacks and the present and the road trip will cover five states, two arrests, one birth and four of America's strangest landmarks.

I'm keeping the plot hints to a minimum because I want you to feel the same impact that I did. The story is bursting with energy. There are moments of sadness but also of unexpected laughter when you least expect it. The book deals with loss, regrets and moving on. There are the thought provoking insights into the battle with a life-limiting disability fought by the sufferer and anyone else that loves them and whilst the details of the accident which devastated Ben's life has been hinted at for quite a while when it arrives it is nonetheless moving. Similarly the ending feels satisfying and apt.

This could have been a simple 'unlikely buddies' road trip story but perhaps the author's real skill is that he has given Trev a real personality. Trev is not a cripple to be pitied, he is a real person with real shortcomings and strengths of his own. This road trip will break all the supposed rules but will transform two lonely, broken men into friends and between them will create a family of their own formed with misfits that they meet along the way.

If I had one slight complaint is that for me it took too long for the road trip to actually get under way. There are similarities to The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry but I would recommend it all the same. show less

I loved this book. It tells a story that is funny and sad and sweet and horrible in turns; complex enough to impress; and features a protagonist nobody can help but love.

Benjamin Benjamin (called Ben) is 39; probably suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; and unemployed. After a quick course in “The Fundamentals of Caregiving,” he manages to get a position taking care of 19-year-old Trevor (“Trev”) Conklin, who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). DMD is characterized by progressive muscular degeneration and weakness, with a shortened life expectancy. At the time Ben meets Trev, Trev’s body is tied in knots, “twisting his spine and tightening his joints so that his ribs all but rest on his hips now.” He reminds show more Ben of a pretzel, but one with a healthy imagination. In fact, Trev hasn’t stopped fantasizing about being with girls, and one of the reasons he picks Ben over other interviewees is that he senses a kindred soul in his quest for female connection.

Ben gets fired by Trev’s mom, but ends up taking Trev as a friend on a cross-country trip to see the weird roadside attractions they had been mapping, and to visit Trev’s estranged dad. On the way they pick up a bunch of misfits who also need care, which Ben provides out of his odd obstinate belief in life and love.

The story goes back and forth in time, as we find out how Ben got into his current sorry state, and how Trev, who, though he can’t move hardly at all on his own, is able to lead Ben on a journey to redemption.

This one passage, narrated by Ben, shows you how subtle and expert the author is at packing a world of exposition and emotion into one small paragraph:

"Trev breaks into a grin - not his signature evil genius grin or the uncomfortable tacked-on grin with which he so often greets adversity great or small but a genuine, lighthearted, devil-may-care grin. And something about it makes me want to cry.”

Evaluation: This poignant “guy version” of Jojo Moyes' Me Before You is terrific. show less