Spooky Bonsai, an orphaned, chain smoking, punk-rock sixteen year old klepto cat burglar (specialising in pricey haute couture) with a black belt in karate (courtesy of her shitty step-father/guardian), signature green lipstick, and out of control raging hormones stumbles into a mystery involving twins named Honey and Sugar (one recently murdered and one very much alive hermaphrodite akin to sexual dynamite), a celibate bodyguard/bottom, a missing psychic jacket, and a Cthulhu-type God Monster whose skin is being stolen to make clothing with which to take over middle eastern countries in a governmental plot and enlists the help of her needy, well well hung virgin best friend and a gang of underground hackers to solve it.

Whew! Yeah, you read that right. This book is BONKERS but brilliant. It's erotica meets sci-fi meets mystery meets revenge thriller meets a coming of age story all set in the only place on earth this could take place and be completely believable... New York City.

I considered giving this 4 stars because, honestly, it went on a bit too long in places. There's only so much time that needs to be devoted to tongues and cocks in pussies and asses (unless you're reading Penthouse Forum) or fights and guns and karate kicks (unless you're watching a Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan flick). The thing is, though, that I could forgive these excesses because the characters, each and every one of them, were so unique and well fleshed out (pun intended) that I constantly wanted to know more about them. It was a page turner that kept me truly enthralled. And written (under what I can only assume is a nom de plume) by a character who has a cameo in his own novel. I mean... Yes, please!

Was it perfect? No. Was it perfect for me. Oh hell yes. ( )

Sexy, amusing, fantastic!
I loved this. Absolutely amazing romp all around. Everyone should pick up this book for a good time.
Spooky Bonsai is a sixteen year old badass who loves to steal the latest fashions. She comes across a woman in fuck me heels and decides she wants them for herself. Unfortunately, the woman was killed the same night Spooky busted into her house. Now Spooky has to clear her name all the while learning the fun of sex and what magic lies behind a mysterious jacket.
I hope there's a sequel to this because I will be buying it! ( )