Finding the Boyfriend Within: A Practical Guide for Tapping into Your Own Source of Love, Happiness, and Respect

by Brad Gooch

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In the tradition of the perennial bestseller I'm OK, You're OK, noted author Brad Gooch offers single and coupled gay men a provocative, sophisticated, and inspirational guide that addresses the big issues of love, romance, and being alone. Part memoir, part self-help, Finding the Boyfriend Within is a remarkably practical and helpful guide in the quest for self-discovery for the thousands of gay men who despair of ever being in a committed relationship. Filled with anecdotes, romantic show more advice, problem-solving suggestions, and humor -- as well as wisdom from both the East and West -- Finding the Boyfriend Within offers simple self-awareness exercises to help discover the respect, happiness, and love that come first, and most enduringly, from within. show less

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Member Reviews

5 reviews
I am not a huge fan of self-help books, but what Gooch says is true: in order to find love, you have to love yourself. He marches past the cliche with some solid writing and good examples, urging the reader to think about the things we do in pursuit of a mate and consider turning some of that energy inwards. Treat yourself the way you would a potential new boyfriend, he tells us, and you will be surprised how this can change your life for the better. The advice is old hat, but embraced as it is by Gooch's entertaining prose, it's charming and cozy as well.

I recommended this book to wordgirl2006 years ago and we periodically call each other to make sure each of us is setting aside time for "the boyfriend within." Sometimes when I have show more been neglecting the boyfriend within, I make myself a cup of hot chocolate, light some candles, and curl up in my favorite reading chair with Brad Gooch. show less
½
The Great White Expanses between lines and the gigantic margins tip you off that this is not a "dense" book. I guess the reader is expected to take notes. Gooch's advice and chatter is akin to bar talk, three glasses of wine minimum. It's harmless stuff, but hardly anything one would expect of a middle-aged, mature gay man. Gooch tries, but his profound narcissism defeats him at every turn -- or mirror -- found in this book.
At times insightful, if you can get past Gooch's own experiences. If interested read the last 7 pages, then may be the book.
A self-help book which encourages the reader to become one’s own boyfriend. Gooch draws from a number of sources, but does not include a bibliography. A “lite” book which might be a starting point for some.
Thanks to Brad, we at Seattle's LGBTQ+ Center have all found The Boyfriend Within.

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Author Information

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22+ Works 1,774 Members
Brad Gooch is the author of the acclaimed biographies City Poet and Flannery: A Life of Flannery O'Connor, as well as other non-fiction and three novels. The recipient of the National Endowment for the Humanities and Guggenheim Fellowships, he earned his PhD at Columbia University and is a professor of English at William Paterson University in New show more Jersey. show less

Common Knowledge

Dedication
Special thanks to Barbara Heizer, for thoughtfully reading this book in manuscript; to Geoff Freitag, Bill Katz, Wayne Nathan and Mary Michael Simpson for their encouragement and anecdotes, to my editor, Chuck Adams, and my a... (show all)gent Joy Harris.
First words
Here's the situation: I'm in my mid-forties.
Last words
(Click to show. Warning: May contain spoilers.)In the words of Rumi: "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere / They're in each other all along."
Blurbers
Pastrana, Joseph; Chopra, Deepak; Tobias, Andrew
Original language
English

Classifications

Genres
Nonfiction, Sexuality and Gender Studies, LGBTQ+, General Nonfiction
DDC/MDS
305.389664Society, Government, and CultureSocial sciences, sociology & anthropologySocial group - Age, Gender, EthnicityPeople by gender or sexSpecific groups of menGay men
LCC
HQ76.25 .G66Social sciencesThe family. Marriage, Women and SexualityThe Family. Marriage. WomenSexual life
BISAC

Statistics

Members
177
Popularity
184,328
Reviews
5
Rating
(3.13)
Languages
English
Media
Paper, Ebook
ISBNs
3
ASINs
2