Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father

I'm the same age as the author. I really enjoyed how vividly she described places and clothes and music from the time period she was discussing. These things all had such a deep impact on her as she was growing up, and that meant a lot to me, as those things affected me during my childhood and teen years, as well. I especially loved that she was into the same music as me during her early 20's.

She wrote about her gay father and his eventual demise from AIDS. I do not have gay parents, and I was not a motherless child. I never knew anyone personally who died of AIDS. However, I could still relate to a lot of what she spoke of during that time. In the late 80s and early 90s, AIDS was a huge deal, and if you were on the "wrong" side of it, show more it could be pretty scary/devastating. I still remember the fear.

Very well written, and as I listened to her reading the audio version, I appreciated that she spoke the French parts so well. I know no French, so she often translated what she was saying.... but regardless, her accent was so beautiful, I appreciated what she was saying even when I didn't understand it! show less

A heartbreaking history of a broken family, in the voice of the surviving daughter. Alysia's mother dies in a car accident when she is two. Her father Steve, a poet, has emerged from the closet and they move from NYC to San Francisco. Steve Abbott is a fascinating, complex man, who tries his best to be all parents to Alysia, but the life of a gay man in SF in the seventies and eighties is tough enough for anyone, no less for two people who alternately cling and push each other away, both longing for solitude, independence, and to be wrapped in each other's love.

When Steve develops AIDS, Alysia is living in Paris, on break from NYU, in love with a Frenchman, and does not want to let Steve's illness put her life and ambitions on hold, show more despite the fact that he has made so many sacrifices for her. Painful truths are bravely told here, and the entire gamut of human bravery and selfishness is on display. show less

I really enjoyed this. I lived in San Francisco during the years she describes and liked the way she anchors the story on Haight Street, and shows its changes by describing businesses that came and went. More than that, it's a beautiful account of growing up with a gay dad who may have done some irresponsible things but who loved her, completely and unconditionally. She does a good job of showing how her adoration of him as a little kid turned to self consciousness as she became a teen and wished he wasn't so, well, gay. And how despite his love, she did long for a mother and found surrogates. I was glad when she went off to her own adventures at college and could feel her ambivalence about having to come home and care for him as he was show more dying. show less

A beautiful memoir - intimate and authentic - Alysia wrote of her relationship with her father, a gay man who later passed away from AIDS, a man who raised her alone from the age of 2 when her mother died in a freak car accident. Alysia recounted life as a child growing up among men in San Francisco - they formed her world and world view - I visited a very close friend in San Francisco often during those years and can hardly imagine how unique her growing up was.

Alysia was blessed to have an adoring father - one who was a poet and artist - and was dedicated to her - yet he was also a single gay man living in a city of bathhouses, cafes, and later, illness and death.

I found this book to be very real - the author was so honest about her show more love and resentment; her desire to be her dad's only love when she was young, her wish to be from a "normal" family as a teen, and her conflicted feelings at returning from her life in Paris, and later her life as a student in New York,to care for her dying father. show less

I'm the same age as the author. I really enjoyed how vividly she described places and clothes and music from the time period she was discussing. These things all had such a deep impact on her as she was growing up, and that meant a lot to me, as those things affected me during my childhood and teen years, as well. I especially loved that she was into the same music as me during her early 20's.

She wrote about her gay father and his eventual demise from AIDS. I do not have gay parents, and I was not a motherless child. I never knew anyone personally who died of AIDS. However, I could still relate to a lot of what she spoke of during that time. In the late 80s and early 90s, AIDS was a huge deal, and if you were on the "wrong" side of it, show more it could be pretty scary/devastating. I still remember the fear.

Very well written, and as I listened to her reading the audio version, I appreciated that she spoke the French parts so well. I know no French, so she often translated what she was saying.... but regardless, her accent was so beautiful, I appreciated what she was saying even when I didn't understand it! show less

Alysia Abbott's memoir of growing up in San Francisco with her gay father is certainly heartfelt and intriguing in places.

The story is at its best when Abbott describes her bond with her father and quotes from his letters and poetry. That the author and her father loved each other very much is clear, but it seems to me that he neglected her rather shamefully in the pursuit of his art. On the other hand, she admits that she sabotaged most of his relationships. I wondered why he didn't send her to live with her grandparents permanently, for both of their sakes.

I found myself skipping pages when the author described, in more detail than was necessary, her favorite '80s bands and the inner workings of San Francisco's public transportation show more system.

All in all, worth reading, especially if you are interested in the time period covered by Randy Shilts's And the Band Played On. show less

Fantastic memoir written by a daughter raise by a gay father at the dawn of the gay rights movement. I felt completely compelled by the personal and the political stories and how they were interwoven by the author. Insightful, well-written and engaging. The author's father was diagnosed with AIDS when she was at the height of her separation/trying for more independence as is the developmental task of that age. How she cared for her father during this time was heartbreaking and the end (last pages) her connections to the "queer community" was beautifully stated