Fairyland: A Memoir of My Father

A heartbreaking history of a broken family, in the voice of the surviving daughter. Alysia's mother dies in a car accident when she is two. Her father Steve, a poet, has emerged from the closet and they move from NYC to San Francisco. Steve Abbott is a fascinating, complex man, who tries his best to be all parents to Alysia, but the life of a gay man in SF in the seventies and eighties is tough enough for anyone, no less for two people who alternately cling and push each other away, both longing for solitude, independence, and to be wrapped in each other's love.

When Steve develops AIDS, Alysia is living in Paris, on break from NYU, in love with a Frenchman, and does not want to let Steve's illness put her life and ambitions on hold, show more despite the fact that he has made so many sacrifices for her. Painful truths are bravely told here, and the entire gamut of human bravery and selfishness is on display. show less

I really enjoyed this. I lived in San Francisco during the years she describes and liked the way she anchors the story on Haight Street, and shows its changes by describing businesses that came and went. More than that, it's a beautiful account of growing up with a gay dad who may have done some irresponsible things but who loved her, completely and unconditionally. She does a good job of showing how her adoration of him as a little kid turned to self consciousness as she became a teen and wished he wasn't so, well, gay. And how despite his love, she did long for a mother and found surrogates. I was glad when she went off to her own adventures at college and could feel her ambivalence about having to come home and care for him as he was show more dying. show less

Well written but at times I couldn't stand the girl! She's just describing herself as a teen and showing us her letters which is quite brave, considering what an ass she was being.
I enjoyed her descriptions of San Francisco at a time that I lived through here, (did wonder how a blunder about the location of Loma Prieta made it past editing)and all her vivid descriptions of life here and in Paris, New York's seemed a bit thin.

A beautiful memoir - intimate and authentic - Alysia wrote of her relationship with her father, a gay man who later passed away from AIDS, a man who raised her alone from the age of 2 when her mother died in a freak car accident. Alysia recounted life as a child growing up among men in San Francisco - they formed her world and world view - I visited a very close friend in San Francisco often during those years and can hardly imagine how unique her growing up was.

Alysia was blessed to have an adoring father - one who was a poet and artist - and was dedicated to her - yet he was also a single gay man living in a city of bathhouses, cafes, and later, illness and death.

I found this book to be very real - the author was so honest about her show more love and resentment; her desire to be her dad's only love when she was young, her wish to be from a "normal" family as a teen, and her conflicted feelings at returning from her life in Paris, and later her life as a student in New York,to care for her dying father. show less

I'm the same age as the author. I really enjoyed how vividly she described places and clothes and music from the time period she was discussing. These things all had such a deep impact on her as she was growing up, and that meant a lot to me, as those things affected me during my childhood and teen years, as well. I especially loved that she was into the same music as me during her early 20's.

She wrote about her gay father and his eventual demise from AIDS. I do not have gay parents, and I was not a motherless child. I never knew anyone personally who died of AIDS. However, I could still relate to a lot of what she spoke of during that time. In the late 80s and early 90s, AIDS was a huge deal, and if you were on the "wrong" side of it, show more it could be pretty scary/devastating. I still remember the fear.

Very well written, and as I listened to her reading the audio version, I appreciated that she spoke the French parts so well. I know no French, so she often translated what she was saying.... but regardless, her accent was so beautiful, I appreciated what she was saying even when I didn't understand it! show less

This is a beautiful book about an unconventional parent and child. But I think most parents and most children can identify with aspects of the relationship between Alysia Abbott and her father. One of the best memoirs I've read in a long time; I'll be thinking about this one for a while.

I'm the same age as the author. I really enjoyed how vividly she described places and clothes and music from the time period she was discussing. These things all had such a deep impact on her as she was growing up, and that meant a lot to me, as those things affected me during my childhood and teen years, as well. I especially loved that she was into the same music as me during her early 20's.

She wrote about her gay father and his eventual demise from AIDS. I do not have gay parents, and I was not a motherless child. I never knew anyone personally who died of AIDS. However, I could still relate to a lot of what she spoke of during that time. In the late 80s and early 90s, AIDS was a huge deal, and if you were on the "wrong" side of it, show more it could be pretty scary/devastating. I still remember the fear.

Very well written, and as I listened to her reading the audio version, I appreciated that she spoke the French parts so well. I know no French, so she often translated what she was saying.... but regardless, her accent was so beautiful, I appreciated what she was saying even when I didn't understand it! show less