The Empathy Exams: Essays

The contents of this book are remarkably difficult to describe. Well, all right, no, it's easy enough to describe: it's a series of personal essays all of which, in some manner, deal with the subjects of human suffering and human empathy. But I'm not sure saying that gives you a good idea of what to expect at all. Partly that's because the specifics of the subject matter are so varied. The author talks about her personal experiences, including having an abortion and being punched in the nose during a mugging. She tours places dense with misery and observes not just her surroundings, but her own reactions. She describes a job she had pretending to be a patient for doctors in training and rating them, in part, on how much empathy they show more displayed, and then talks about attending a conference for people who are certain they are suffering from a disease doctors don't believe actually exists. And so on.

Some of these essays struck me as better than others, but at they're best they're amazing: lyrically written and insightful in a way that sometimes made me want to gasp. And if sometimes it borders on the self-indulgent, well, that in itself just provides more to talk about, as Jamison thoughtfully considers what it means for her to write about her own pain or her perceptions of others' pain, and widens that self-reflection out to consider complex questions about not just empathy, but about what we mean when we accuse someone of wallowing in their own pain and in what contexts we make those kinds of judgments. And for all that she talks about herself a lot, there seems to me to be a laudable kind of humility in her willingness to constantly re-examine and question her own feelings and her own responses. The result isn't always easy to read, but I found it very much worth it. show less

Leslie Jamison is one of those generational intellects. This will put some folks off, I'm sure, and it might seem a weird comparison, but the first name that came to mind when reading her was David Foster Wallace. She maneuvers her way around arguments and problems like very few other writers, and the number of those writing such achingly personal essays is almost zero. I suspect more females gravitate toward Jamison, which is a real shame. Though I'd describe her work in this collection as deeply human, her take on gender issues should be mandatory reading for males everywhere. Highly recommended.

I'm tempted to write a one-word review: "Wow." But Leslie Jamison's writing encourages--compels--more than that. "The Empathy Exams" is a rare gift that offers rare gifts, not the least of which is a long list of further reading from the voices of other writers that are echoed to such great effect on many of these pages. Jamison makes you want to read everything she reads, and in the expansive way that she reads everything she reads. She reads like a generous writer and writes from a generous heart and mind. I came away from these essays with more and less than what I brought to them: more questions, a greater capacity for ambivalence, ambiguity, and patience; and at the same time, less--less dogma, fewer untested assumptions about show more gender, beauty, suffering--and less of those easy conclusions I've carried around for years as a shield to distance me from the pain of others and from my own pain. Readers of this collection will find themselves better equipped to face a life shared with others, and equipped with the many lived-out examples of a writer not afraid to venture far and wide, to inhabit her own narratives with intellectual toughness and grace. What I'm trying to say, if not very clearly, is: "Wow." show less

The basics: The Empathy Exams is an essay collection. Each essay, including the titular one, addresses empathy, although some focus more on it than others.

My thoughts: I've really been enjoying essays lately, and The Empathy Exams is the most buzzed about collection this year. Having read several edited collections, it was delightful to dig more deeply into a thematic collection of essays by a single author.

The first (and titular) essay is astonishingly good. It details Jamison's time working as a medical actor, where her job was to act out symptoms for medical students, who were then judged not only on their diagnostic skills, but also their empathy, both verbally and visually. The essay is simultaneously a fascinating glimpse into an show more experience and a deep meditation on health, wellness, humanity, and empathy.

As I read this collection, which I didn't expect to be about empathy after the first essay, I realized how much I'm drawn to essays about personal experiences. Given this revelation, it's not surprising I was most drawn to Jamison's essays about her immersive experiences. Many of them are journalistic at times, but Jamison pushes so much further. She uses these experiences as a stepping off point for deeper discussions.

Favorite passage: "This was the double blade of how I felt about anything that hurt: I wanted someone else to feel it with me, and also I wanted it entirely for myself."

The verdict: In a collection exploring both a singular theme and a variety of experiences and emotions, some essays in The Empathy Exams inevitably excel more than others. Judging them against one another seems almost unfair, however, as the collection is so strong. As the collection winds down, I found myself giving some of the later essays more of a 'meh' response because my expectations became so high as I read. Yet had I read them individually, I would have been wowed. Ultimately, The Empathy Exams is a strong, dynamic collection of essays, and the multiple-page Google doc of memorable quotes is one I'll keep returning to. show less

It’s so easy to call most any collection of essays thought provoking; thus, I’ll call this an extremely thought-provoking collection. On opening the cover of the book, the first thing that struck me was all the glowing comments spread out over eight pages. That’s more than your average bear.

”[Jamison] circles around questions without settling for easy answers.” – The Columbus Dispatch

“This book melted my brain and my heart several times….” – Shelf Awareness

“This is the essay at its creative, philosophical best.” – Eleanor Catton, author of The Luminaries

“Extraordinary and exacting …. It’s not surprising that Jamison is drawing comparisons to Sontag.” Olivia Laing

Sometimes I can truly appreciate how show more great a work is, but I sometimes feel that I’m not exactly on the right frequency, as there’s a wee bit of static in my reception. To be honest, I most often attribute that static to my brain not being finely tuned—with getting too little sleep being the most common grit in my gears. Another strong possibility for my tuning problem could be my sex, especially when it comes to her powerful essay, “Grand Unified Theory of Female Pain.” For as much as I was attuned to the love of my life after thirty years together, there were still thoughts and conclusions that sometimes separated my wife and I along the woman/man divide—again, probably because of some grit.

This collection was published after Jamison most deservedly won the Graywolf Nonfiction Prize. Her writing is keen, flexible, and so skilled in how she approaches her essays. She not only reveals her subject matter, but she’s gifted in how she allows her readers to understand them. Obviously, empathy is the over arcing theme of the collection, which alone makes it stand out, and she also allows us to see the humanity that oftentimes is given short shrift in our society.

As a fan of both writers, it feels most apt that people speak of Jamison in the same breath as Joan Didion and Susan Sontag. Yes, with this book she’s that good. She comes at human suffering from many viewpoints, and always does it with intelligence—sometimes with humor—as she ponders our responsibilities and reactions to it. Her pieces many times take us deep into the philosophical, and at other times she relates to our common reactions to everyday problems.

Jamison is never shy about sharing things personal, it so often helps her powerfully drive her points home. Everyone’s life has some suffering, and while our author may well have experienced more than the average person, she uses that to show her readers all that we share as humans.

I will close with the phrase on a shoulder patch that I wore for many years as a young adult—GIVE A DAMN. Living without empathy is not human. Leslie Jamison has written a powerful and meaningful book here, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy. show less

Mesmerizing in the way of a fatal car wreck in that there is so much pain in these stories, pain to spare. The wondrous thing about this collection is the deep and faraway differences in how humans interpret, communicate, and interact with internal and external pain. I alternated among reassured, angry, hopeful, forlorn, proud, and embarrassed. Stunningly unique way this collection captures and puts on display the most primitive emotions for each of us to draw our own lessons.

An uneven collection, some essays seem extemporaneous and insufficiently honed. There are points where the author's interrogation of her own guilt/shame/self-obsession overwhelm her subjects (judged as journalism, many of these pieces fail). Despite relentless dissection, sometimes her internal battles don't bear fruit; rather than reveal interesting questions or insights, we're only left with the insularity or banality of her personal experience.

While a reader might prefer an invisible narrator, the author can't help but insert herself as a character in every story she encounters. The problem at the center of this book is that she can't help but do so; that for her this is a prerequisite for empathy: not just sympathizing with the show more pain of others, but imagining possessing the pain herself. The battle between her complicated neediness (as accurately criticized by her lovers) and her desire to be present for others can be hard to watch, and one wonders about her ability to preserve boundaries - how porous is the frontier between an "open heart" and a broken one?

Still - the best pieces are deeply felt, deeply thoughtful, and explore little known extremes (of endurance, of confinement, of belief...) in a way that makes the book very much worth your time.

Jamison almost always avoids cliche, and resists the urge to gloss over or explain away discomfort or uncertainty. She doesn't shy away from sentiment, emotional or moral (after all, these two may be connected).

While not as ruthless or thorough, at times her method reminds me of Knausgaard (in My Struggle) - they both explore their own weaknesses in a way that serves to disarm potential critics (by acknowledging, without quite wallowing in their imperfection), and as a means of universalizing the difficulty and value of engagement with others. show less